Chapter 19 - Fear of losing identity

Marcus sat at his desk, his hands gripping the edge of the table, his mind racing in a thousand different directions. The sparring match in the training center replayed over and over in his head—the fluidity of his movements, the precision of his strikes. He had never fought like that before, but in that moment, it had felt like second nature, as if the years of training those guards had put in had somehow become his own.

It should have been exhilarating. Most people would kill for that kind of skill, that kind of ability. But all Marcus felt was fear.

The more he thought about it, the clearer it became: every time he absorbed something, he was losing a little bit of himself. It was like his mind was slowly being rewritten by the knowledge and abilities of the people around him. The power was growing, and with it, the sense that his own identity was slipping away.

He tried to focus on his work, scanning through the network logs for any unusual activity, but the buzzing in his head wouldn't stop. Who was he becoming?

Marcus had always prided himself on being self-reliant. He wasn't like Tony Stark, the genius billionaire who commanded attention wherever he went. Marcus had built his life on quiet, steady work, staying in the background, solving problems without anyone noticing. It wasn't glamorous, but it was his life. His identity.

But now? Now, he wasn't sure who he was anymore. Every time he absorbed someone else's skills, their knowledge, it felt like a piece of them was taking root in his mind. His own thoughts were becoming tangled with the memories and experiences of others, and the more it happened, the harder it was to hold on to who he really was.

He stared at his hands, flexing his fingers. They looked the same, but they didn't feel the same. The energy coursing through his body wasn't his. It came from the Arc Reactor accident, and it was altering him in ways he couldn't predict or control.

Was this how it would be from now on? Every time he touched something or someone, would he lose a little more of himself? The thought terrified him.

Marcus glanced around the office, watching his coworkers go about their day. The IT department was a hub of activity, with people running diagnostics, managing the company's vast digital infrastructure, and solving technical problems. It was the same routine as always, but for Marcus, nothing felt routine anymore.

His heart raced as he caught snatches of conversation from the people around him. It was like his brain was on overdrive, picking up bits of knowledge, skills, and experiences from everyone nearby. He didn't need to be close to them, just their presence was enough. Every new piece of information felt like another thread being woven into the growing web of identities in his mind.

Marcus squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block it out, but it didn't help. He could feel it, the pull of other people's knowledge, the flood of information that wasn't his.

A conversation between two engineers drifted over to him. They were talking about a complex algorithm they were working on, and before Marcus could stop himself, he found his mind processing the information, breaking it down in ways he had never been capable of before.

He gritted his teeth. This had to stop.

Pushing his chair back, Marcus stood and quickly left the office, making his way to a quiet corner of the building where he could be alone. He leaned against the wall, breathing heavily, trying to regain some sense of control.

He wasn't ready for this. He hadn't asked for these powers. What was he supposed to do with them?

The fear gnawed at him, growing stronger with each passing moment. If he kept absorbing knowledge and abilities like this, how long would it be before he couldn't tell where his own thoughts ended and someone else's began? How long before he lost his sense of self entirely?

A sudden wave of panic washed over him. He had to talk to someone, Jen Riley. She had always been his anchor, the one person he could trust to help him think things through. Maybe she could help him make sense of this before it was too late.

Marcus grabbed his phone and quickly texted Jen.

Marcus:

Are you free? I need to talk. Something's happening, and I don't know how to handle it.

There was a brief pause before the response came through.

Jen:

Sure. Meet me in the lab in 15?

Marcus exhaled, feeling a small flicker of relief. At least Jen would listen. She always had.

Fifteen minutes later, Marcus found himself standing in front of Jen's lab, trying to calm the storm in his head. He knocked lightly, and Jen opened the door with a warm, curious smile.

"Hey," she said, stepping aside to let him in. "What's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Marcus entered the lab, closing the door behind him. He hesitated for a moment, trying to figure out where to begin, but there was no easy way to explain it.

"I need to tell you something," Marcus said, his voice strained. "Something happened during the Arc Reactor accident in Tony's lab. I didn't think much of it at first, but... it changed me."

Jen's smile faded, her expression shifting to concern. "What do you mean, it changed you?"

Marcus ran a hand through his hair, struggling to put the feelings into words. "I don't know how to explain it, but... I think I have powers now. I can absorb things -knowledge, skills- from people around me. It's like... I'm becoming someone else every time it happens."

Jen stared at him, processing his words. "Wait. You're telling me you can just... learn things? Instantly?"

"Not just learn," Marcus said, shaking his head. "It's more than that. It's like I'm copying people's abilities, like I'm taking pieces of them into me. And the more it happens, the less I feel like... me."

Jen took a deep breath, clearly trying to make sense of what he was saying. "Okay. So, this started after the Arc Reactor incident? Maybe the energy did something to you, altered your DNA, or rewired your brain. But... how do you feel? I mean, beyond the powers. How are you holding up?"

Marcus sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I don't know, Jen. I feel like I'm losing myself. Every time I absorb something new, it's like my mind is getting flooded with someone else's experiences. I'm starting to forget what it feels like to just be... me."

Jen was quiet for a moment, her eyes full of sympathy. "That sounds terrifying."

"It is," Marcus admitted, his voice barely a whisper. "I don't know how to stop it. I don't even know if I can."

Jen stepped forward, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. "We'll figure this out, Marcus. You're not in this alone."

But as much as Marcus wanted to believe her, the fear in his chest told him otherwise. How could anyone help him if he didn't even understand what was happening to him?

As they stood there in the quiet of the lab, Marcus felt the weight of his powers pressing down on him. He didn't want to use them, didn't want to keep absorbing the world around him. But the more he tried to fight it, the stronger the pull became.

And deep down, Marcus knew that he was running out of time.