Chapter 15

Loki awoke, golden sunlight streaming through the window lighting up the bedroom, to find himself alone in the bed. Turning his head to view the nightstand, he noticed the bottle of wine and one of the two goblets he had left setting there the night before were missing, only the goblet containing the empty vial remaining.

Having dressed, Loki left the bedchambers, entering the sitting room to find it unoccupied. Loki approached the open door of what was now Vanar's bedroom. Reaching it, he watched from the doorway as Boda, still in her night dress, her back to him seated on the stool, moved her brush from the pallet to the canvas. The missing bottle of wine and goblet sat on the small table beside her.

Without making his presence known, Loki studied the painting in progress. It most certainly wasn't the image of an infant but himself once again, though minus his helmet. His hair was somewhat longer, reminding Loki of his and Boda's conversation in her cramped bathroom in Midgard. Perhaps something had reminded her of it as well, inspiring her latest work, Loki thought.

"Good morning," Loki said, hoping not to startle her, "Did Thor take Vanar for another swim?"

"It would be a bit chilly at this time of the morning. He said he was taking him to see your old clubhouse," Boda replied as she continued to paint.

"Hideout," Loki corrected her.

"What's the difference?"

"A clubhouse's location is generally public knowledge. A hideout is a secret known only to one or a select few. Isn't it a bit early for wine?" Loki asked as Boda sat her brush down, pouring more wine into the goblet from the bottle before taking a drink.

"As you once said, it's never too early or too late," Boda said, taking another drink before returning the goblet to the table and retrieving her brush, returning to painting.

"As I once told Arvid..." Loki trailed off, failing to finish his thought, the memory of the previous night's events flooding back.

"What did you tell him?" asked Boda.

"Nothing that I should have."

Boda lowered the brush, staring into the blue eyes set within the face she had painted on the canvas.

"You will see him again."

"Not for a few millennia, at least I hope it will be so long. Did you sleep well?" Loki asked, leaving the doorway to stand behind Boda.

"You know I did," Boda answered acidly.

"I saved your life."

"For what purpose?" asked Boda.

"What do you mean 'for what purpose?'" Loki asked, puzzled.

"There's a purpose behind everything you do."

"There's a purpose behind everything everyone does," Loki responded.

"Let me rephrase the question. What is it that my continued existence gains you?"

"Nothing except perhaps a lifetime of squabbling."

"I had a plan. You told me to always have a plan."

"Perhaps if you'd taken the trouble to tell me of it..."

"Even when I don't tell you of my plans you still manage to betray me," Boda replied as she painted.

"I tricked you. There's a difference. Betrayal is a purposeful choice made with knowledge and understanding of the circumstances. One can't inadvertently betray another."

"I defer to your expertise in the subject," Boda responded sarcastically.

"So what was this grand plan?" asked Loki.

"It doesn't matter now."

Loki remained silent for a moment, engaging in another spat unwelcome so soon after rising.

"I thought you were painting Vanar. You've done one of me," Loki said, examining the painting more closely.

"It's not you," Boda said.

Loki then noticed aside from the length of the subject's hair, there were the slightest deviations from his own visage yet the resemblance was uncanny.

"Your friend you avenged?"

"I thought he was you playing a trick on me when he walked in the first time. His full name was William Thomas Henrikson. His adopted ancestors were of the lands where your father once held sway. He knew nothing of his true heritage. He'd been abandoned in a park after his birth. It was the middle of winter. It was a miracle he survived. Like me, he had no one. His adoptive parents had been wealthy. They'd both died in a car accident a few years before we met. He had a brother, his parents' natural son, They had a falling out and hadn't spoken since the funeral. He knew his parents wouldn't accept him for who he was if they knew so he had kept it a secret from them, though his brother knew. When they were in high school his brother had walked in on him with another man. His brother swore to keep his secret but had let it slip to his parents. Will didn't learn he had been disinherited until after their death. He was left with nothing," Boda explained as she painted.

"Why did you decide to paint him?" Loki asked.

"I had a dream. Everything transpired just as it did that night. I had a craving for chocolate. I'd grown fond of it but that night I thought I might die if I didn't have any. He offered to walk to the store at the end of the block. It was the only thing open that time of night. When he returned he was going to help me close up. He often did so. When he came through the door he had the chocolate bar in his hand," Boda stopped, her voice beginning to quaver, pausing to take another drink of wine before continuing to both speak and paint, "He was the you I always wanted you to be, that you were too afraid to be, though that Loki would make an appearance from time to time. The first time we made love...it was truly the first time in my case. I was terrified. You were so tender and gentle."

"I don't recall that I was so gentle. I fully expected the einherjar outside my chambers to burst in fearing a murder was in progress," Loki joked, smirking, placing both hands on Boda's shoulders, beginning to slide them slowly downwards.

"You're right. It's too early," Boda said, rising from the stool, Loki removing his hands, Boda picking up the bottle with one hand, the goblet with the other.

As Boda turned, Loki stepped in front of her, blocking her path, taking both from her hands and setting the bottle back on the table, lifting the goblet to his lips and finishing the contents before setting it down as well before taking Boda in his arms, kissing her.

"I can be whatever you want me to be," said Loki before the pupils of his eyes flashed green, changing from blue to gray, "They're gray…"

"I knew they were blue. I was in the mood for a row. It was always better after. All I've ever wanted is for you to be you, the real you," Boda said.

"Perhaps that would be easier if I no longer needed to be anyone else for another...marry me," said Loki.

Boda, stunned, gazed searchingly into Loki's eyes.

"You can't be serious. Have you forgotten your father is likely to soon return me to the dungeon for the rest of my days?"

"I'll deal with my father."

"You don't want to marry me."

"I'll be the one to decide what I want or don't want."

"I don't think you've ever known what it is you want. No...I can't," Boda said, pulling out of Loki's embrace and stepping back from him.

"Very well then, I rescind the offer," Loki said in frustration.

"You don't understand. You didn't save my life. You've only extended my suffering."

"You're right, I don't understand," Loki said, confused.

"I realized as I was sitting in the dungeon with nothing else to do but ponder my situation that Dario had done me a favor. Eitr would be far quicker. It began with dreams for her as well," Boda said.

"You believe you suffer from the same condition as your mother? She was much older than you are now. It's not known to be an inherited condition. Everyone has such dreams. Not long ago I dreamed my father had banished me to Jotunheim. After I awoke an hour passed before I felt warm again."

"They aren't dreams really. They're reliving memories but the outcome is always altered in some way, as if my mind is attempting to rewrite them. I had planned to tell Vanar of Asgard and of you and you of Vanar. That's why I was painting your portrait. Dario simply hastened matters."

"If the healer confirms it, my father would have little choice but to pardon you or allow you to remain here. I'll recruit the best healers in Asgard to work day and night to find a cure."

"There may not be a cure. They never found one for my mother. They've never found one for Rauoricch Pox either."

"I know. I came down with it as a child. I wasn't much older than Vanar. I looked like I'd been stung by a million bees. I itched from head to toe. My mother threatened to place me in shackles before I scratched myself to the bone. Of course Thor proved to be immune. Seeing him romp about unaffected…I only knew a few tricks then, otherwise I would have turned him into a frog long before I did…or something worse."

"I remember the day he was showing off with Mjolnir in front of those girls. You made it appear as if it had turned to rubber. The look on his face…" Boda began to laugh, "You told him not to worry, it happens to all men, though you had yet to experience it."

"A streak that continues," Loki responded with a grin.

Boda's laughter suddenly converted to sobs, Loki stepping forward, taking her in his arms once again, his face expressing his devastation at Boda's latest revelation.

"Everything will be alright," Loki soothed.

"No, it won't! Nothing has ever been alright! It's like one of your tragedies, like some madman is writing the script of my life! I've never had control over anything!" Boda wept.

Loki and Boda both heard the sound of the front door open, Vanar's running footsteps approaching the room.

"Mommy!" Vanar called out.

Boda moved herself out of Loki's embrace, hurriedly wiping the tears from her cheeks as Loki glanced at the door before taking Boda in his arms again.

"Mommy! Uncle Thor showed me–" Vanar called out excitedly, breaking off as he reached the doorway, staring in silence as he witnessed Loki kissing Boda passionately.

"Vanar...perfect timing," Loki said after ending the kiss as Thor appeared behind Vanar in the doorway, Sif and Fandral along with him, "Brother! My friends! Glad tidings! Boda has agreed to be my wife."

"No I –" Boda began, stunned, breaking off as Loki stared intently into her eyes, "I did."

"The revels afterward best be worth enduring the tedious, overly elaborate ceremonial I'm certain you have in mind," Fandral said.

"We're to accompany you to the palace," said Sif.

"I should get ready," Boda said as Loki released her, crossing the room to the door, everyone gathered stepping aside as she exited.

"I told my mother I would accompany her. What's happened?" asked Loki.

"The situation has become more complicated," Sif replied.