<>

With her head against the rattling glass, Elisia idly watched the scenery crawl by. Most said the country soothed, but she knew better. It was lethal, and never to be trusted. One only had to breathe the air, and you were doomed to be slowly sapped dry of all passion, all interest, until all you could talk about is the changing of weather, or the harvest (Always a popular topic with the rural types). She shuddered. An unseemly end.

Not to say she didn't find the outdoors pretty. From afar arranged flower-bunches, manicured lawns and trimmed hedges were beautiful.

This here however was different. It was wild, chaotic. Clustered saplings racing against one another, branches strangling each other for a spot in the sun.

I should just go back.

It'd been three days. She already longed to go home. To be returned to cobbled streets and to be surrounded by houses.

Tall trees surrounded her now, plotting against her, hushing their voices as she neared. They looked at her in conspiratorial silence, yet she had already heard the words.

You're a fool, and this is folly. Go away stranger, go back home.

Little did they know, she was.

Maybe I should just cancel the whole thing.

Her head was swirling too loudly for her to notice the wheels grind to a halt.

No. You know you can't. How can I? I must do this, if only for the sake of my sanity. You have to do this. You have to.

It was sweltering, the small fan in her hand doing nothing while sweat pooled at her back. If only she were at the castle, and could ask one of the servants to run her a bath. Or fetch a vine of grapes, even give a massage.

Oh how much easier that would be. Forget this entire escapade, let's go back.

Yet here she was, dressed like a commoner in the middle of nowhere.

Elisia Thorton. I swear to heaven almighty, if you turn back now.

Yes – yes I'll never live it down bla bla, always wonder, always regret. You could let a girl dream. Not much else to do around here...

Stifling a yawn, she sank back into her seat, aimlessly looking about the large carriage. Opposite, there was a plush velvet cushion, embroidered in a golden thread. Light dappled through windows on either side, squeezed together by the dark brown of mahogany. Very expensive.

Elisia was hit with a moment. A moment where seemingly out of nowhere an Elisia from the past clambered inside her. Just a young girl.

And whenever this girl popped in her head, Elisia would walk with her in the corridors of her mind, hand in hand. Show all that had happened, all the girl had missed. Years of being swept up in a storm of champagne and crystal. Every time the girl would be star struck, even though the tour was always the same.

'Wow, so you're telling me in the future we get a horse?'

'We do.'

'All to our self?'

'All to our self.'

'And the big castle?'

'We live there.'

'Live there?!'

'Well where else would a royal live?'

'So you're telling me...'

'Mhm'

'That we're'

'Mhm'

'Royal?'

'Yup'

And every time at this point, her eyes would grow glossy and wide with wonder.

'Wow' she'd let out, speechless. At that point she'd usually leave.

Not lately though, as the older Elisia would gesture to all the golden jewelry they received and silk dresses they had, the girl would take off. Elisia would chase after her, only to find her in one of the deeper tunnels, dripping with oil.

'Stop – don't-look.'Elisia would say in-between pants.

'What...' The girl stepped back.

'You're not supposed to be here.'

'I-I...what is all this.'

'You're too young.' The girl said nothing, but the horrified look on her face said everything.

That was it. She vanished again, their encounter brief but not enough. Now Elisia was alone, in the recesses of her mind. A black teardrop hit her from above, and then another. She craned her head to look at the leak. The place was falling apart.

A sharp knocking to her left brought her back.

"Apologies ma'am." Said one soldier in a clear voice, filtered through the door.

"What is it?" Elisia replied and then noticing. "Why have we stopped?"

"The road's blocked."

"You must be joking." She let out something inbetween a sigh and a growl. "What do you mean the road is blocked?"

"Well, we're unable to-"

"Oh for Gods sake, I know what blocked means." She snapped. "What I'm asking, is how can this happen?"

"Uhm...mhm. Something...or – I suppose rather-"

"Actually on second thought I couldn't care less, we're already behind schedule, how long will it take to clear or go around or whatever?"

"See that's the thing ma'am." He sucked the air in through his teeth. "Someone's blocking the path. A woman"

"A woman? What woman."

"A commoner - some old woman." He corrected. "Not sure ma'am, she was on the path when we got here and she refuses to budge."

"An old woman blocking the path." Elisia mused, more to herself. "Whatever. Just throw the peasant some coppers and send her on her way."

"We tried that ma'am, she won't take it."

"Won't take it?"

"No ma'am."

"In that case, what the hell does she want?"

"Uh...hmm"

"Yes?"

"You ma'am. She says she won't leave till she sees you."

"Won't leave till she sees me?" Elisia repeated mockingly. "What madness? Not. A. Chance. You can go back and tell her if she wants to talk to me, to request an audience at the castle like everyone else." Honestly, the sheer audacity. Who does she think she is? The Queen?

"Aye, ma'am."

As an afterthought. "If she still won't budge, drag her off."

"Understood your grace, I'll handle it."

Steps creaked outside, one by one groaning under his weight.

"Quickly I hope." Elisia muttered.

Footsteps receded, softer and softer into the distance.

"And it's not your grace, it's your highness!" She spat, but he'd already disappeared, leaving her to wait. She hated waiting.

Elisia looked outside, and saw people of all walks pass by. Cooks, cleaners, some of her personal assistants. She mindlessly watched trying to find some entertainment in the activity, but the oppressive heat beat down like a drum and she grew weary, sinking back in the seat, not knowing what to do with herself.

Seconds fused into minutes inside the carriage, laden with a heavy silence. Yet there was no one else inside those mahogany walls to be stand-offish with, there was only herself. She thought back to the girl. Drip...drip...drip.

Off in the distance, birds chirped, horses neighed and men brayed and cackled.

No matter how hard she tried however, to dance around the silence, to distract her focus it always landed back at the same place. Just like the girl.

I wonder how they'll react, when the convoy arrives at their doorstep. Wondering what's going on when royal guards pour out. When the door opens, and instead of some passing count or pompous high-bred, they see me.

Will they plead ignorance? Get on their knees and grovel for forgiveness?

What do I want them to do? Cry out for mercy? Lament about another time, things they wish they could take back if they had the chance?

Do I want them to have grown old, and sweet? To hug me and tell me how sorry they are? For ousting me into this cold, frozen tundra for all these years?

Her chin quivered ever so slightly, and Elisia could feel her eyes welling.

How could I be so weak.

Looking down, her hand was shaking.

No.

She balled it into a fist. Like always memories reflooded, far too many, all at once. Memories of piggish faces and cold nights. The black rocks piled in her gut turned red hot, leaping and spitting.

I don't want their regret or their tears. I don't want petty excuses, pitiful apologies or pretty words about how they've changed.

It'd all be lies anyway.

Keep them just how they left me and I'll leave them how I always dreamed.

She took a controlled breath and held, long enough to pour water on her enraged heart. With a heavy sigh, she exhaled smoke.

I can't believe it, how long is this going to take?

Her slender milky-white fingers drummed impatiently against her thigh as she waited. A bead of sweat ran down.

Honestly can't these buffoons do anything themselves?

Fed up she half-stood, half-hunched, turned the wooden knob and pushed out into the world.