The F*ck?!

A/N: This novel was written whilst I was bored with my laptop, it will get updates and not be dropped. Currently waiting for PC to be repaired.

**********

"Ravenclaw!" a loud but aged voice yelled out from above me. Startled, I looked around at my surroundings.

This had to be some really weird dream, right?

Four long tables stretched across the hall, each one filled with students. But they weren't wearing normal clothing; each one was dressed in a robe, like a wizard from Harry Potter.

Wait, this can't be real, right?

I scanned the room, hoping to find some logic in this absurd situation.

Banners with each house emblem adorned the walls, check. Candles floated near the roof, with the night sky visible from inside. Check. Last, I noticed the students standing ahead of me, each one looking around 15 or 16 years old. Among them, I saw the person I least expected to see.

'It's fuckin' Harry Potter.'

His black hair, circular glasses, and the telltale lightning bolt scar on his forehead were unmistakable. Standing next to him was Ron Weasley. Though they both looked like they did near the end of the movies, it was unmistakably them.

"Mr. Ambrosius, please find your seat at the Ravenclaw table." Hearing the voice, I turned to see a woman, nearing her forties, with smooth skin and a shapely figure, staring at me. Quickly nodding, I stood up, lowering my head slightly.

'Is that Professor McGonagall?!'

"I'm sorry, Professor," I stammered, the shock clear in my voice, before power-walking to the cheering table and finding an unoccupied seat. My mind was still reeling from the situation.

'This has got to be a dream, right?' You know, when you watch something before going to bed, and the next moment, you're dreaming about something similar? Looking at the first years chatting and laughing with one another, I couldn't help but harbor some doubts.

This feels way too real.

I sat there, not uttering a word to anyone around me, as we all watched the new students being sorted into their houses. Everything from the movies still appeared accurate to a degree, albeit the age range was slightly skewed.

Maybe an alternate universe of the stories?

'Why am I not as shocked or scared as I should be?' It felt as though there was a thin layer of film surrounding my negative emotions, almost like I was completely fine with my current predicament.

How did I know my last name was Ambrosius?

I had too many questions and not enough time to get answers.

The hall fell silent as the students were sorted into their corresponding houses. Following everyone's eyes, I looked up to see an old man with a long white/grey beard standing at the podium.

Dumbledore looked closer to the recast actor than the one I had seen in the first movies. A little more wizened, but with a much more mysterious look in his eyes.

He raised his hand, waiting for everyone to focus. "I have a few start-of-term notices I wish to announce. First years, please note that the Dark Forest is strictly forbidden to all students."

"Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch," pointing towards a ragged old man, Argus Filch, with his cat with red eyes, "has asked me to remind you that the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death. Thank you."

With another wave of his hand, Dumbledore smiled, and each table filled with enough food to sustain a starving town. My eyes twinkled as I reached for a drumstick. If this was some type of weirdly real lucid dream, I'd enjoy every second.

Throughout the dinner, I kept silent, merely nodding and smiling at passing words as I watched everyone excitedly talk about how incredible it was to be at Hogwarts, some even talking about their future career choices and things they wished to do.

"So, Theo, your last name, I haven't heard it before. Are your parents Muggles?" A scrawny teen with messy blonde hair asked me as he inhaled a mouthful of pudding.

Startled at the question, my eyes shook for a moment. Did I have parents? If so, what were their names? I can't even seem to remember anything since before the moment the Sorting Hat was placed on my head.

I smiled politely, deciding on my answer, before taking a drink of water.

"Yeah, they were shocked, but once the school arrived in person, everything worked out."

It was the only logical answer I could give. I didn't know if I was Muggle-born, a Half-Blood, or a Pure Blood. Hopefully, when I see my belongings, I'll find something to give me more of an answer.

Content with my answer, he went back to his food, feasting like no one else.

**********

After dinner, the Ravenclaws were rounded up and led to our common rooms. At the west side of the school, at the top of spiral staircases on the fifth floor, we were welcomed to a door without a doorknob or keyhole. Instead, a knocker in the shape of an eagle was there.

Penelope Clearwater, a girl with long, blonde, and curly hair, answered the riddle before guiding us into the common room.

"Welcome to Ravenclaw!" she beamed. "The entrance to the boys' rooms is up the stairs on the right, and the girls' on the left. Please note that there are wards in both entrances to deter boys and girls from entering one another's rooms. You will find your names written on the door; that shall be your room for the rest of the year."

As she turned around, her swaying hips caught my attention and I couldn't help but be drawn to her as she led us further into the common room.

"There are thousands of books in our house. You're more than welcome to read or borrow them, but please return them within a week. If you have questions, please save them for tomorrow, when you receive your timetables at breakfast. Goodnight!"

Practically bouncing away, she rushed to a table in the corner, pulled out a book, and lost herself in its contents.

'Damn, they really love their books, huh?' I couldn't help but joke; the stereotype was there for a reason.

Following the boys, we entered through the right staircase into a hallway with doors on either side. Walking deeper into the hall, I found my room. However, I wasn't disappointed at all because I found my room, which was the last one.

Upon entering the room, I slightly grimaced at my surroundings.

A shabby bed, with the signature colors of Ravenclaw on the bedsheets, an old and cracked table, sat on the right side of the room, along with a bookshelf next to it.

"It's not all bad; that's a large window." Walking to the almost floor-to-ceiling window, my eyes widened at the view I had from my room. The Great Lake stretched as far as my eyes could see, along with some of the Forbidden Forest.

"I doubt you could pay to get a sight better than this in the school." I smiled, turning once more to my bed. There, on the floor, was a large trunk, with the initials 'T.A.' etched on the front.

A cage sat on top of the bed. Noticing it, I walked up and slowly lifted it. A small black cat was sleeping inside, seemingly in a deep and peaceful sleep.

Feeling the movement, she opened her eyes and peered at me. Her yellow, almost golden eyes seemed to hint that she was aware of her surroundings.

I smiled, opening the cage and fishing her out, before placing her in my arms and stroking her head softly. My fingers fumbled with the collar wrapped around her neck; it seemed she had a name tag.

"Alice, huh? That's a cute name." I pulled her closer to me, rubbing her face against mine as she purred warmly.

"So, what now, Alice? We're in Hogwarts; I can't tell if this is a dream or reality."

Sighing, I placed the cage on the floor before resting on the bed with Alice lying on my chest, staring at me.

Noticing my worry, Alice stood up before walking closer to my face, gently licking my nose with her sandpaper-like tongue. Laughing, I pulled her once again into my arms as I lost myself in thought.

"Well, if this isn't a dream, I'd much rather be here. Not like my life before was happiness." I murmured, pushing down the thoughts of the life I would be back in once this dream ended.

[Confirmation received.]

[Completing binding.]

[99%]

[100%]

[Synchronizing memories and booting interface.]

*DING*

[Welcome to the Template System.]

Before I could even open my eyes, or plan a response to the robotic voice I heard, a sharp pain invaded my mind.

Letting go of Alice, I clutched the bedsheets in pure agony as I felt my mind being torn asunder. Along with the searing pain in my mind, my body began letting out loud cracking sounds, my limbs twisting and turning, as a burning fire emanated from my core.

Unable to open my mouth, or even utter a sound, I wept in my mind as I was being tortured by this foreign situation.

**********

Opening my eyes, I groaned in pain. What felt like hours to me seemed to be only minutes in reality. I could hear Alice hissing at me as she stared at my sweat-drenched body.

"It's okay, girl. It's over," I said, my voice sounding hoarse, my throat dehydrated to the point it hurt to speak. Jumping into my arms,

she curled into a ball, purring once again.

What the hell was that? Template System? Sounds like something out of a fan fiction I had once read.

Looking around the room, I hoped to see someone hiding in the corner, like they had been playing some seriously messed up prank on me. At least that would make some logical sense.

[Welcome to the Template System. Please confirm if you would like to draw a random, once-off template. Y/N]

A purple panel appeared before my eyes, shocking me to my core. I rubbed my eyes in confusion, hoping it was some type of hallucination, but when I looked once more, the panel was still there.

'Uh, can you please explain more?' I asked in my mind, hoping it could understand me.

[You will receive a onetime opportunity to draw a template throughout the Omniverse. Once gained, the system will cease to function, apart from a status screen that explains abilities/powers along with the synchronization rate.]

My mind was in a complete state of confusion, and I couldn't even form a coherent thought.

First, I found myself in a world that should be pure fiction, but I knew it was real because the pain I felt couldn't have been a dream. Second, someone granted me a chance at either something incredible or something that could ruin my new life.

I sat in silence for a couple minutes, stroking Alice's soft fur as I attempted to decide if I wished to take this step.

Fuck it, System, do the draw. I said, almost instantly regretting my choice as I closed my eyes. Though that wouldn't stop the system from speaking in my mind. I sat in silence, hearing random sounds similar to a slot machine spinning.

Gradually, the sounds stopped, and I opened my eyes.

[Congratulations on winning 'Merlin (Nanatsu no Taizai)' Template]

[Please ensure you continue to use the template's powers to increase your synchronization. The host will become unconscious to assimilate the new template.]

Before I could do anything else, I blacked out once again.