Simple solutions.

"Did you check?" I asked, checking up on the nen covering Hades.

"Yes. I sent a copy if his memories to you too." Wanda assured me, "There is technically a divine realm but it's more of a meeting hall and public plaza. Most of the time, gods stay in their own pocket dimensions, like a suburban cul-de-sac."

"I see." I sighed in annoyance, "Finding pocket dimensions is such a pain."

Wanda giggled.

"You're preaching to the choir here. I jumped from pocket dimension to pocket dimension to get to the mirror realm. It was the worst."

"Yeah..... " I summoned a cup of juice to my hand, taking a sip of it as I paced across the room, "Well it has to be done, I guess. The gods behave like people around here so maybe they'll also place their pocket dimensions in the 5th dimensional vicinity of the heavenly plaza-thing. We'll just work off of a behavioral algorithm. See how accurate we can get it." I theorized, pulling up a holoscreen when I found myself on the couch.

"Take a break from work for a minute, will you? You almost failed the mission back there. I saw the aura of death on you. You could have gotten a permanent scar on your true psyche with that you know?" Wanda pulled me beside her onto the sofa, nuzzling up to me. I could smell the soft peppermint scent of her hair.

I kissed her head and put my arm around her on instinct felt a warmth in my chest.

Cuddles are nice.

"I know."

"I certainly wouldn't mind scar or two though. They'll make you look manly." She teased.

"What does that mean?" I huffed, "I'm plenty manly myself. Look at my beard."

"That five o'clock shadow barely counts as a beard." Wanda stroked my cheeks.

"Uh huh?" I kissed her, squeezing her butt, as she squealed happily, "How about a demonstration of my manliness then?"

"You really like my butt, don't you?"

"It's the best."

"Better than Offee's?" She asked with a mischievous look in her eye.

"It's magic." I skirted the question.

"Pussy!" Wanda giggled, "Not that I don't like it. Magic....." She thought for a moment before casting a spell.

I raised an eyebrow.

"It's a levitation ritual Yue told me about. I wanted to try it while we were here."

"Yeah. But you do know we will plummet to the floor post-climax don't you? Yue shattered her hip that time we did it. She had regeneration, thankfully but you-"

That's when it hit me.

"Hold on. Why is magic still on?"

Wanda looked at me with confusion.

"Should it be off?"

"Well, yes. I've killed like two dozen gods already. And when a mortal kills a go-" I realized halfway through speaking what the problem was.

"I'm an idiot." I palmed my face.

"Not going to debate that." Wanda smirked.

"The magic isn't being shut off because I wasn't mortal when I killed them!" I explained.

"So the solution is simple. Just have a mortal kill one. We have a god right here, weak and captive." Wanda pointed at Hades in the corner.

"Yeah, but who-ow!" Wanda flicked my forehead.

I gave her a pitiful look and she sighed.

"Don't give me that face. I know what you were doing. Coming up with another overcomplicated plan to get him killed my a mortal." She chastised me like a dog who had chewed out the toilet paper roll again.

I looked at her with surprise.

"How did you-"

"We've been married for two years now. I can spot that look a mile away." She cupped my face, "Here's what we will do. I'll go and mind control a guard. Get him to kill Hades. And then, you'll shut up, turn off your brain and give me the loving I want. Capische?"

I nodded, enchanted as I kissed her.

"I like it when you get all assertive."

"I know." She smirked and disappeared.

A minute later, with a dead Hades dumped down a portal to my other clones for research, Wanda jumped onto me. And she got her loving.

.

"There we go." I said as my probes in the Neitherlands started reporting back with feeds of frozen fountains.

"It's begun. It'll reach us in about a day or so."

"Let's get the rest of the treasure out of here before then." Wanda suggested, "I'll go get the invisibility amulet from that Lorian illusionist."

I nodded.

Illario, the illusionist. Loria's foremost mage was a master of illusion magic. His grasp on the art was so good he could enchant amulets that could hide someone from the eyes of the gods themselves.

In the show he helped Julia hide from Reynard with this amulet and one time convinced Eliot and Margo that they had been kidnapped and teleported, castle and all, to Loria by covering the entire castle in a giant bounded field projecting an illusion outside that showed the castle as having been teleported, leaving a smoking crater, while on the inside, he projected an illusion that showed the Lorian landscape outside the windows.

He came with the war camp this time to create the illusion we saw earlier, of the camp stretching for miles and miles and ten thousand soldiers. The actual number of soldiers was only about 3000. I, of course, knew that, but it sure had Tick freaked out.

"No need " Yue threw me a coin, nearly startling me.

Where did she come fro- Oh right, the amulet. It hid her from my senses.

That's how she sneaked up on me.

"I went to look for you at the Lorian camp but you were back already. And I didn't want to interrupt you when you were....having fun. Without me." She pouted.

I pocketed the coin and pulled Yue into a hug, squeezung her tight.

"Good job." I kissed the nape of her neck as she preened from my praise, "We'll have some fun too, once we get back home. Now, where's Offee?"

"In the courtyard, rounding up the kids." Yue checked, "And she's here."

"Papa! You're not sleeping anymore?" Star asked crawling onto my shoulders. Even Luminara walked over and hugged my leg with her little hands.

"Papa is good?" She asked.

"Yup. I'm good." I patted her head and Yue picked her up, putting her one her lap.

"Now let's drop you guys home and then we can discuss our future plans. In the meantime, Yue could you go get the rest of the stone organs?"

Yue nodded and disappeared.

"Wanda, keys. Take a reality anchor with you. Save the fairies too."

"On it." Wanda replied, and got to work.

"Uh before you go, Eliot wanted to talk to you about the food problems..." Offee reminded.

"Right. Take the kids home. I'll meet you back in ten."

"Papa is not coming?" Luminara asked, looking up at me with those puppy eyes. She had my brown eyes, I could tell.

"Papa will come back soon. And I'll bring you sweets."

"Candy?" She asked.

"Yes. The best candy ever." I rubbed her head and handed her over to Offee.

"What do you want for dinner, dear?" She asked.

"I want hamburger!" Star gave his two cents.

"Hamburger it is then." I smiled, and kissed Offee goodbye as she teleported back home.

Teleportation really came naturally to gods, it seems. Even Yue commented on how weird it was to sense things in higher dimensions.

Godhood truly was awesome.

I wonder how the other clones are doing with the artificial god seed?

I'll have to find out.

"Did you bring the clay?" I asked as I stepped out of the room, turning to the door.

Margo stepped out from behind it and pouted, not keen on being found out.

I had sensed her arrival here when Offee came back with the kids but for some reason she hid behind the door till now? Even though there was no point since all of us could sense her.

Was she being considerate?

I shook my head.

Margo? Being considerate? No way.

She was probably awkward about the kids or something.

"Yeah. Wait, how do you know about that?"

"I was the one who gave him that spell." I explained.

"No, I know that. How did you know I was here with the living clay?" She asked.

"Oh, that. It was simple. You suddenly came back two days after leavings Fillory, less than an hour after I gave Eliot the spell. It's pretty obvious why. He probably sent you a messenger bunny."

"He did in fact send me a messenger bunny." Margo admitted.

"Shall we go then? To the court? Eliot wants to talk about the food shortages from the war yes?" I asked.

"Yeah. The rebels burnt down the granary. It's a mess."

"At least the rebels are dealt with now, so we don't need to worry about them."

"So I heard. Your wives kicked their asses with the orbital laser."

"Wow, it's barely been an hour and the rumours are already this distorted?" I was genuinely surprised at the level of chinese whispers they were playing with my achievements.

"No. I just zoned out during the talk. Probably misheard." Margo clarified.

"Oh, that certainly sounds more like it. In actuality my wives defeated the rebels while I killed the enemy king in single combat."

"With the orbital laser?" She asked excited.

"With the orbital laser." I nodded.

"Damnit! Why do I miss all the good parts?" She sighed.

"Oh, Margo, the best is yet to come. Unless you're not into engineering?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"Not particularly, no. Why?"

"You'll see." I smiled.

"Alright Mysterio. Here's a different question. Who's this Wendy I hear about?"

"My wife? Her name's Wanda."

"Wasn't Offee your- hold on, how many wives do you have?"

"Well, there's Offee. You know her. When she died I remarried, to Wanda." I pulled up her picture on a holoscreen

"Like Wanda Maximoff? The scarlet witch? From the Avengers movie?"

"Yeah. Cute isn't she?"

"I'd bang her." Margo whistled.

"Glad to know." I chuckled, "Then of course, there's Yue, my soon-to-be wife. I haven't proposed yet but I have the ring ready."

"A menage-a-trois?" She looked amused, "A flower in each hand."

"And one on the stem" I replied.

"Gross." She scrunched up her face playfully as we reached the throne room.

I stopped at the entrance and summoned a large drum sized canister of nanobots on a trolley and wheeled it in.

"What's that?"

"The solution to our problems." I replied with a grin, "World class terraforming nanites."

"What about the prime directive, Mr. Science Guy?" She laughed.

"Fuck the prime directive. I'm gonna industrialize this bitch!"