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In MHA with Tatsumaki's Powers!!! (dropped) well remake 6/24/24

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Synopsis

A guy who gets killed by a god is reincarnated into the My Hero world with Tatsumaki's abilities. At first, he's scared to use his powers to the fullest but then that gets fixed in chapter 12, where he had a dream and he stops being scared. Enjoy Kazuto's adventure! This is my first ever story, it might be bad tbh so only read if you don't mind beginners. ---- I do not own MHA, OPM, and any other similar aspects that are seen throughout the story. All copyrighted content is the property of its respective owner(s). I do not own the cover image. If it is yours and you want it taken down, please send me a message.

Étiquettes
3 étiquettes
Chapter 1Reincarnation!!!

-(A/N)- This is my first story and my first language isn't English so... I'm sorry if I miss up also I'm creating this story because I'm bored and also I love Tatsumaki's powers.

"Talking" 'thoughts'

I opened my eyes and noticed I was somewhere I didn't recognize. It was as if I was floating in clouds, there was a sun in the sky and it was bright so I tried to cover my eyes but I noticed I have no (body), only eyes. I was scared I started panicking 'What happened? Why am I here? Did I die? Someone anyone' I had many thoughts running through my head when I heard a voice.

"Don't worry young man, you are completely fine… I think." This voice was extremely loud, it sounded strong. I don't know why but I felt kind of scared.

A man appeared who seemed to be wearing a gray suit and had white hair and was very handsome. "Who are you?" I said to the man, "I am a god." The man, who is now a god, replied with a loud tone that was getting on my nerves.

"Aren't gods supposed to be old dudes that don't shave?" I asked this question when I thought to myself, why am I talking I don't even have a mouth. The god looked at me with an expression of pity and said "I can hear your thoughts young one" this scared me luckily I wasn't thinking about anything indecent.

"Why am I here?" The god suddenly had a face of guilt from the question I just asked. "I'm sorry it seems it was my fault you died," the god said in a teasing voice which angered me.

"Huh? What do you mean it's your fault I died?" I asked the god with a voice of confusion.

The god looked away and said, "I accidentally killed you with God's blow, I didn't mean to kill you I just wanted to see if it worked on humans." I looked at him dumbfounded and asked him "Wait why me? I was living a great life and I just turned 16 yesterday!" The god looked at me and shrugged.

"Since I killed you young one I'm going to reincarnate you into any world even if it's fiction." said the god while staring down on Izaya.

"Wait really?" said Izaya

"Yes young one I am, you could decide any world, also you could choose any power and appearance." answered the god

"Hmmm ok, I saw this girl's powers in an anime I watched called One Punch Man she could move things with her mind, I didn't really get to finish it so I couldn't see her full power but can I get hers? I think her name was Tatsumaki" said Izaya

God looks at Izaya with a confused face.

"Can I ask why young one?" asked the god

"I want Tatsumaki's power as a quirk because I'm too lazy. Also if I'm in a tuff spot can my plot armor kick in and can I surpass my limits?" answered Izaya

"Alright, then you will get her powers." said the god

"Also can I be handsome when I grow up also instead of my power showing green can you make it dark purple instead?" demanded Izaya

"Yeah of course! Now young one which world?" was the god's response

"My hero Academia, I would have chosen Re: zero but I think My Hero is suitable for me I guess," answered Izaya

"Nice choice young one now of you go." said the god while waiving

Izaya suddenly disappears.

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4.6
269 Chs

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Critiques
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UsedCreation
UsedCreationLv14
Hyberions
HyberionsLv14

Your idea for using Tatsumaki's (aka Telekinesis) for a quirk, It's perfect for a world like MHA if done well. There is a similar quirk in the canon series IIRC called poltergeist utilized by Reiko Yanagi, the only difference between the two is Reiko can't affect living/organic matter. I was half expecting the MC to be in the same class as her so they could bounce ideas off of each other, yet sadly it didn't happen. Also for someone who isn't too fluent in English, the grammar isn't terrible, only the occasional punctuation missing or mispelled word. Grammarly would sort those out for you. Now for the problems, starting with the story progression; It's a bit messy to start off with, but that's to be expected for the first few chapters. The problem is that the story doesn't feel like it is planned out at all and you write whatever comes to mind. This isn't inherently a bad thing, it just leads to a messy reading experience with pacing, etc. After would be the world, the story is lacking in descriptive wording regarding his surroundings. It oftentimes is jarring to me personally because the entire chapter is just dialogue with the occasional scene switch. And lastly in my opinion is the reasoning behind the MC's actions. He has hidden his quirk's true power and potential at every turn. I get it, you want to have interesting fights, etc. in the future with that excuse as a scapegoat, I truly do. It's just so infuriating to read "I have to hold back" etc. It's an authors way of soft nerfing their characters and I'm not a massive fan of it. You claim that he doesn't wish to get AFO's attention, if he has Telekinesis on the level of Tatsumaki, he can comfortably solo the entire MHA universe. He has no reason to hide it, apart from you, the author, using it to make sure AFO doesn't stay in hiding which would ruin the preset plotline of canon. And that's about it. This is just an honest review, I may have misremembered a few things, or forgotten some parts, but that's all I have to say. I wish you luck in future chapters and potentially improving. <3

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