webnovel
Kuma19
Kuma19Lv23yr
2021-07-26 20:34

I believe it's a good fanfic of mha The protagonist is neither a psychopath nor a fight addict or choice O It's not generic love interests, and so far it doesn't seem too far-fetched.(Google tradutor)

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
UsedCreation
UsedCreationLv14
Hyberions
HyberionsLv14

Your idea for using Tatsumaki's (aka Telekinesis) for a quirk, It's perfect for a world like MHA if done well. There is a similar quirk in the canon series IIRC called poltergeist utilized by Reiko Yanagi, the only difference between the two is Reiko can't affect living/organic matter. I was half expecting the MC to be in the same class as her so they could bounce ideas off of each other, yet sadly it didn't happen. Also for someone who isn't too fluent in English, the grammar isn't terrible, only the occasional punctuation missing or mispelled word. Grammarly would sort those out for you. Now for the problems, starting with the story progression; It's a bit messy to start off with, but that's to be expected for the first few chapters. The problem is that the story doesn't feel like it is planned out at all and you write whatever comes to mind. This isn't inherently a bad thing, it just leads to a messy reading experience with pacing, etc. After would be the world, the story is lacking in descriptive wording regarding his surroundings. It oftentimes is jarring to me personally because the entire chapter is just dialogue with the occasional scene switch. And lastly in my opinion is the reasoning behind the MC's actions. He has hidden his quirk's true power and potential at every turn. I get it, you want to have interesting fights, etc. in the future with that excuse as a scapegoat, I truly do. It's just so infuriating to read "I have to hold back" etc. It's an authors way of soft nerfing their characters and I'm not a massive fan of it. You claim that he doesn't wish to get AFO's attention, if he has Telekinesis on the level of Tatsumaki, he can comfortably solo the entire MHA universe. He has no reason to hide it, apart from you, the author, using it to make sure AFO doesn't stay in hiding which would ruin the preset plotline of canon. And that's about it. This is just an honest review, I may have misremembered a few things, or forgotten some parts, but that's all I have to say. I wish you luck in future chapters and potentially improving. <3

Related Stories

Creating Manga Of One Piece In Pirates World Become My Ultimate Goal!

Rob was a high-level hacker and wanted by many government organizations because he leaked the secrets of many countries. So he didn't dare to come out of his hiding much. Since he was alone, he lived a difficult life, which that he found the joy and the excitement of life in only two things: The rule of the Internet, and the anime world. One day he came across an interesting advertisement on his personal computer that turned his life upside down. [Ding!] [The art publishing system is being prepared...] [The system is ready!] From that time onwards his goal became to draw One Piece manga in the pirates' world! And make the great era of pirates even more chaotic! ยถยถยถยถยถ Author: BlackStar_BH (Me) ยถยถยถยถยถ Note: Needless to say, this book has the same idea as "Creating The Manga Of Naruto On Naruto World Become My Ultimate Goal!" But here it applies to the world of One Piece, I was inspired by the idea and I wanted to apply it to the world of One Piece, and I hope it succeeds, of course, there will be a conspiracy and I will make sure to improve the story according to the readers opinions. ยถยถยถยถยถ As for publishing chapters, it would depend entirely on the interaction the story receives, whether it is 4 chapters a day or 2 chapters or 1 chapter or 0 chapters... It all depends on the readers' enthusiasm for this interesting book. ยถยถยถยถยถ I don't own One Piece nor do I own its characters, all I own is the protagonist, after all, this is just a fanfic without any profit, just for fun. I don't own Bleach, Attack on titan, Hunter X Hunter, Naruto, and I don't own their characters. ยถยถยถยถยถ EXTRA TAGS: #ATTACKONTITAN #HUNTERXHUNTER ยถยถยถยถยถ My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BlackStar_BH (+30 Chapters ahead Webnovel.) My Ko-fi: (New) https://ko-fi.com/blackstar_bh (+30 Chapters ahead Webnovel.)

BlackStar_BH ยท Anime & Comics
4.7
852 Chs