Happy married life, again

I don't know how long I've been here; is it years? I don't know or care; every cycle of light and darkness is pure joy and happiness. I think I'm finally truly happy.

It's incredibly curious how time stops having meaning or purpose.

I remember that conference I attended at the academy. It was about the theoretical possibility of creating time magic and why no one could have an affinity for that type of magic.

What he concluded was that apparently time, unlike other forces, has a subjective value that depends on each individual.

That is why time cannot be manipulated. Perhaps, at best, you can manage to manipulate "your time."

Mana is the primordial force that gives life to all sentient beings and is also an incredibly powerful barrier that nullifies outside interference.

Just as water magic cannot control the blood within living beings because it is blocked by mana, theoretical time magic cannot manipulate the flow of time in any living being.

To do this, the target must have zero mana, and, just like if your health points reach zero, you die. But since time seems to be something perceived only by conscious beings subjectively, it does not matter if it is only you who is affected; it is impossible to escape the eyes of the gods, and you could never really be the only one affected.

Well, all of that could just be nonsense; it also doesn't make much sense compared to what I now know is supposed to be time, thanks to my new but very superficial knowledge of general relativity.

Damn, why was I never interested in these topics when I was Victor? Now I could do wonders if I had the details of all that incredible knowledge.

Shit, shit, I don't even fully remember any equations other than E=mc², but I have so much more information than I ever dreamed of knowing in this life, so I'd be silly to complain.

Ah, bad luck. Still, I feel more inclined to accept the philosophical view of time at this point.

Well, it's not that I care about all that at this point; I'm not in the magic academy anymore. I can only laugh when I remember the academy and how stupid my life was there.

Father, Professor Daron, Irene. Everyone of you were all wrong; being a researcher was the best decision I ever made. I think as I rejoice and imagine my father's upset face.

Now, are you proud of my father? I am the first to discover and see how a sealing array works. I smiled, remembering that moment.

Of course not; I would literally have to be born again for you to look at me even for a second with anything other than contempt for the first time. Remembering that just depresses me.

I was never very interested in the field of biology, and even less interested in the field of research into exotic life forms. I smile and laugh sarcastically.

It's really been so long; I think I forgot how I'm even supposed to eat. Feeling hungry, thirsty, cold, or hot are things that seem so foreign to me now.

But I still don't feel alone right now, even though I still miss things about my old lives. They seem like distant dreams, full of happy and sad moments.

Sometimes I still miss you, Emilia, Angelo. My eyes fill with tears when I remember the happy time the three of us had together.

No, no, thinking about that is not good for my mental health, which is really bad right now. I remember I didn't even have much interest in making friends or having a social life when I was at the magic academy.

It's not that I dislike all people; on the contrary, I spent fun private moments in the evenings after visiting the neighboring imperial fencing academy.

Of course, I wasn't so brazen as to go alone; we went in a group with Irene and other fellow visitors.

So why did I do that? For academic and research purposes, of course.

I feel so good now; I just have to float in the darkness and be happy; that's all that matters. I have never felt so peaceful, and I have never felt so full of joy.

As I smiled happily and gratefully, I sent my sincere thanks to the octopus that changed my destiny.

The creature sounds very ugly and inappropriate. I muse when I realize how I'm addressing him.

What can I call you? Ok, I know, I'll call you Gor because you look like "Shuma Gorath." But it sounds cuter that way, you know that, right?

Does such a creature even exist? I don't remember it well, but I think that name was in a book I read at the academy.

no that is not true, or was it one I read in my other life? I'm pretty sure it was in some comic or horror book about a really big, ugly shit that drove you crazy for some stupid reason. I'm digressing too far; does the reason matter anyway?

I'll call you Gor because I like it. I don't have to justify it to myself; it's just stupid and pathetic.

Do you really like it, my love? I'm dying to know what you'll call me.

Thank you for giving me so much, my love. You are always with me, taking care of me and protecting me. 

I am very lucky to be yours.

Gor, my love, while you recover and rest, I am going to tell you a story. Well, I think it was a movie I saw in my other life; it was about...

I wake up after a restful sleep, but to my dismay, Gor slowly removes the tentacle that wrapped around my neck, my skin turning pale as a feeling of indescribable loneliness washes over me.

It's hard for me to remember the last time I felt like this, my hands shaking with nervousness, sadness materializing in the form of tears streaming down my face, fearing that I had done something to upset him.

If Gor stopped loving me, my heart and soul would not be able to bear it.

In a desperate attempt, I try to talk to him, but my words come out as little more than disjointed moans.

The tentacles that wrapped around my arms and legs slowly lowered me onto the cold rock floor until I finally broke free.

My heart sinks in my chest, and a knot in my stomach makes me feel like vomiting.

— No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening, please no! — 

I try to say between stutters as I barely manage to put my hands on my head, trying to control the tremors that run through my body.

— I'm begging you; please don't leave me; I love you too much. — 

My words, although in a nervous tone, are a little more understandable, I repeat them over and over again.

Suddenly, I felt like the tentacles inside my body still moved occasionally.

— Aren't you bored of my truth yet, Gor? — 

I managed to pronounce between screams.

— Thank you very much; I love you very much. — 

I repeat tirelessly as I try to stand up.

I guess years of being almost immobilized and confined in the same position made the task impossible, as I fell violently to the floor as if I were a rag doll.

Without thinking much, I decided to crawl as close as possible to the center of his body, next to his beautiful eye.

Deep down, I know that by being closer, I will be able to express even better how much I love him.

After crawling, I finally manage to reach him. With difficulty, I move one arm, and using my hand, I place it on the surface of the central part of his body.

He feels so cold and solid, as if I were touching the largest, most powerful, and most majestic gemstone that could exist in this world, but at the same time, it feels even softer than his tentacles.

I move my hand gently, as if a sudden movement could break it.

— Gor, my love, you are everything to me; you are my world; you are the reason for my life, and I no longer care about my old life as Victor, much less as Victoria; the only thing that matters to me now is you being with me. —

I whispered, resting my face beside his eye.

— I would do anything to make you as happy as you make me. — 

I tell him as I kiss the center of his body and snuggle up to him.

For the first time, Gor seems to respond to me by caressing my face with one of his tentacles.

— Oh, Gor, I knew that you also loved me as much as I love you. — 

I cried uncontrollably. For me, the fact that the person who is the owner of my heart and my soul considers me worthy of his affection is the greatest recognition I could have ever dreamed of.

I hear a soft purr coming from my beloved. It's so relaxing and pleasant; it's like a massage that heals my soul, and the gentle vibration feels amazing on my atrophied muscles.

I feel like my life finally has a true purpose.

For a brief moment, the thought crossed my mind that these feelings are not normal. Something inside me knew it had to do with the little tentacles inside my brain years ago.

Or maybe it was a product of my mind adapting to the immense and constant happiness for so long? I only know one thing for sure: for me, the reason doesn't matter.

What is love at the end of the day if not chemical and electrical stimuli in the brain? What difference does it make if we add some tentacles to those stimuli that help me understand how wonderful my life can be when I accept love in unconventional ways?

For me, Gor is my savior; if he had not appeared in my life, I would already be dead from sepsis caused by an infection in my wounds or even by something as mundane as dehydration.

I'm perfectly aware that he hurt me, but I also know that it was all my fault for attacking him first when he was just trying to be friendly with me.

Gods, I was so stupid; if I had only known how wonderful he is, I would have never tried to hurt him, but I finally have the wonderful opportunity to return the favor for everything he has done for me.

— I owe you so much, and I have so little to offer you. — 

I lament as I sigh.

Time continues to move forward only as represented by the cycles of light and darkness. I spent time with him, keeping him company. I told him almost everything I did in my two lives and almost all the tales, novels, and stories that I can remember.

I am getting to know my beloved more and more. Now that I know he only has four tentacles that I could compare with his hands, he can control them much more precisely and delicately than the rest. I also know that the other thirty completely lack that ability and are more similar to his weapons and legs, which he uses to move his body.

— Not that there's much room for him to move around anyway… —

But this room is our home. I am ashamed to admit that at first it seemed cold and dreary, but now it is the most beautiful and happiest place in this world, from which I never want to leave.

Today, something wonderful happened for the first time. I heard Gor's wishes inside my mind. I got a little scared, thinking I was finally going crazy, but when I found out it was him, I just cried with happiness.

— My love, we can finally talk. —

My happiness was accompanied by a pleasant, calming buzz inside my mind for hours.

— I can't wait to hear what you think and make all your wishes come true. — 

I will do everything possible and impossible to make you happy.