Chapter 13

'I HATE YOU! Don't touch me, you abomination!' Her mother shouted as she pushed her away because she tried to hug her. 'I told you that don't touch me! I hate you! Get out of my sight!'

Lucky's lips trembled as she stepped away from her Mother. 'I---j-just want to greet you Happy Mother's Day, Mommy.'

She pointed at her. 'Do I look I'm happy?! Do I?!' Her Mother slapped her hard. 'You are the reason why my life became miserable! It's all your fault!'

She tried not to cry in front of her Mother because she did not want to see her cry. 'B---But my Teacher s-said that I should greet you happy mother's day Mommy.'

Her Mother slapped her again. 'Stop! Shut up! If you want me to be happy, then be gone! I don't want to see you! Just leave!'

Sobbing, she pulled out the hidden happy mother's day card behind her. 'Here, Mommy, I love you.'

Lucky already knew that her Mother would just throw her work, but her young heart was still hurt by what her Mother did in what she had worked so hard to do.

She spent her night making that card.

The sobbing that she kept hiding finally let out as her Mother stepped on the card that she had made and then pointed at her.

'Do not come near me! You are a plague! No one will love you! Not me or anyone else! You are a plague! You should have never been born! '

Her tears flowed one after another when her Mother left.

She slowly picked up the trampled card she made and then removed the dirt from her Mother's shoes and then hugged the card that she made.

'No one will love you! No one will love you! Not me or anyone else! '

As she walked back to her room, that was what she had in mind. Maybe her Mommy is right. She is a plague. No one will love her. She has no value in the world. She is the one who is torturing her Mommy.

Maybe she should really disappear.

As she walked across the room, she turned and made her way to the kitchen and then stared at the knife in the sink.

She reached for the knife and stared at it.

'If I disappeared, will Mommy be happy? Will she learn to love me now? '

That was Lucky's question to herself as she brought the knife to her wrist.'

When Lucky opened her eyes and woke up from a dream about her past, her eyes were blurred with tears.

She quickly wiped away the tears and stared at her wrist knowing that there was a trace of the cut, it had not disappeared over the years.

She smiled sadly. "She still wasn't happy after what I did." She whispered softly to herself.

She turned on the lamp shade then looked at the clock on the bedside table.

One A.M.

She got up from lying on the bed then drank some water and went back to her room, but she did not lay down on the bed, she went straight to the balcony and looked at the dark sky.

As dark as the sky is today, it's as dark was her life when she was younger. At the age of eight, she was able to hurt herself with the thought that her Mother would be pleased with her, that she would finally love her when she disappeared.

She always craved for her Mother's love and care. She always wanted to be hugged by her Mother but she's now twenty six, still, her Mother couldn't even spare her time for her. Her Grandmother said that her Mother would never show up for her again.

She sighed loudly and then looked at Jayden's balcony.

It was just near her balcony and it was not that high so she tried to cross over.

While standing on the balcony railing, she stared down, when she felt her knee softening because of the height, she immediately stepped on the railing of Jayden's balcony and then carefully stepped on his terrace.

Just as she knocked twice, the sliding door opened immediately and Jayden immediately looked at her wet cheek.

"What happened?" He immediately asked with concern. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head.

He peeked at her balcony knowing she crossed over to his balcony. "Next time, use the front door."

She looked down. "Maybe you can't hear me when I use the front door. I just want someone to talk to."

He grabbed her by the hand then pulled her in and closed the sliding door then made her sit on the side of his bed.

"What happened?" He asked while wearing a tank top because he was half-naked.

Lucky played with her own fingers. "I just had a bad dream that's all."

He sat beside her. "Do you want to tell me to lessen the heavy feeling? I know you've been crying."

She took a deep breath then looked at the him and began to tell her to alleviate the heavy feeling she was feeling.

"I dreamed about when I was a child that our teacher told us to make a Mother's Day Card. She said, when we give it to our Mommies, they will be happy and hug us. I was so excited. I spent my whole night. making sure that card is presentable. "

Her tears rolled down her cheeks at the memory. "The next day, I gave my Mother the card but she stomped on it. All my hard work. She told me, I should not approach her, that I am a plague, that I should not have lived, that I should just die. No one will love me, she or anyone else. She said she would be happy when--- " She sobbed softly. "---I disappeared."

"Lucky." Jayden automatically dried her tears.

"All I had in my mind back then was to make my Mommy happy. So I went to the kitchen and took a knife then I hurt myself, thinking if I'm gone, Mommy will finally love me."

Jayden hugged her tenderly and then stroked her back when she started sobbing one after another.

"I just want her to be happy, Jayden. I j---just want her to l---love me, to hug me and to feel that she c---cares for me. That's all I want. But she didn't care about me. It's a good thing I wasn't that strong, so I didn't get deep wounds. The maids took me to the Hospital, the maids took care of me, the maids accompanied me. I was in the Hospital for a week but I was never visited by my Mother. "

"When I got home, still, she was still angry with me. She was still pushing me away. I really tried my hardest to get her attention and affection but every time I tried, she would slap me, saying I'm an abomination. That I don't deserve to be loved. "

At the same time as she sobbed loudly, Jayden hugged her tightly and caressed her back.

"When s---she's mad at me even when I'm not doing anything w---wrong, she would use her belt buckle on me." She was trembling and sobbing. "She would hit me until I bleed. Then she would drag me out of the house and left me outside all n---night."

She shook her head. "I d---don't even know what I d---did to her to hate me so b---bad. I'd been a good girl. When she told me not to e---eat, I follow. When she says to k--kneel, I will kneel. W---When she says I will not leave the room because her f---friends are there and s---she's embarrassed because of me, I didn't leave my room. What's wrong with me and why she can't love me? "

"There is nothing wrong with you." Jayden said emphatically as he stroked her hair. "You're perfect Lucky. You're amazing, wonderful, astounding and awesome. Don't listen to her, listen to me. You're an amazing woman. I pity her, because she never had the chance to feel your love. Its her lose. "

His hand went down to caress her hair on the back and caressed it as if she was being comforted. And as she continued to cry, he dried the tears on her cheek.

"There is nothing wrong with you." Jayden said while staring at her. "You're amazing Lucky. You're a complete package for me. You're too sweet, too kind, and too nice. Even though your Mommy didn't love you, there are many people who love you."

She smiled even though she was still sad. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to release this heavy feeling. In the past, I always talked to Grand-mommy, but when I move-out from them, I couldn't talk to anyone when I had a bad dream. I just kept it. I'm really sorry. I told you my nightmare and released this heavy feeling of mine. "

Jayden caress her face and kissed her on the lips. "I don't mind. You can tell me anything, you don't bother me if that's what you're thinking. "

Her smile becomes more brighter ever second. "Thank you. I'll keep that in mind."

Jayden smiled back. "Good. Now, are you feeling better?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Thank you." She took a deep breath and let out a violent breath then smiled. "Do you know why I fight to survive?"

"Why?"

"I don't want to give up because of Mommy." She took a deep breath. "She will love me too soon, so I have to live many more years, because I believe that the time will come, she will eventually love me too and then she will hug me and she will not be ashamed of me anymore, that she can tell other people that I am her child."

Jayden looked at her with amazement in his eyes. "You are the most positive person I have ever met in all my life."

She grinned. "Grand-mommy said, Mommy is in a place where I can't see her for now. But she said, one day, I will see her too and she will accept me. So even if I don't see her now, it's okay, when we meet , she will hug me too. I will really fight for that to happen. "

Jayden fixed her messy hair covering her face. "You are not hard to love, Lucky. You are very easy to appreciate and to take care of."

She nodded and hugged Jayden. "Thank you, for listening and talking to me."

He stroked her hair and then looked at her meaningfully. "I prefer to talk to you because I know you will listen to me. Because I know when I encourage you, you will smile at me and say you will not give up, so I am confident that I will not lose you. That the day will not come when I will realize that you're already gone. Because I know you will fight, for yourself and for your loved ones. "

"I will also fight for you." She pulled away and looked at Jayden. "You also don't want to lose me, right? I will fight, so don't worry. I will not lose to this sickness of mine. I'm a strong woman, right?"

Jayden chuckled and comb her messy hair with his fingers. "Aren't you going to rest yet?" He asked. "It's already dawn. You are not allowed to stay awake for long."

She looked at his balcony and frowned. "I'm too lazy to move into my apartment." She turned her gaze back to Jayden. "Can I sleep here? Promise, I don't move much when I'm asleep."

Jayden laughed softly then adjusted his pillow and tapped on it. "Come here, rest."

Smiling she lay down on his bed then she tapped the space next to her. "Lay down with me."

Jayden was stunned. "Are you sure? I can sleep on the sofa."

"I'm sure," she insisted then pulled him to the bed.

Jayden looks stiff while laying beside her, making her frown.

"You don't seem to be breathing, Jaydee-baby?" She noticed.

He turned to her. "I'm focusing myself to sleep."

She frowned. "Isn't that drowsiness, just come on it's own?"

He sighed. "Baby, I'm thinking about things that I'm sure you won't understand---"

"Try me." She challenged.

He turned sideways, facing her then looked into her eyes. "I want you."

She frowned. "How?"

He looked down at her body before looking back at her. "I want you in more ways than you can imagine."

She frowned even more. "You want me as a person? As a woman? As a friend? As a what?"

"As a woman." He said.

She blinked. "I can't follow. Will you elaborate please?"

"Gladly." He said then suddenly kissed her on the lips.

|WARNING: SLIGHT R-18 |

She thought that like his previous kisses, he would break off the kiss after a few seconds or minutes, but she was surprised when his kiss became more aggressive and at the same time he caressed her body.

She moaned softly when his hand entered her upper garment of her sleepwear.

This is the first time Jayden has done that and suddenly there seems to be a fire burning inside her especially when he positioned himself above her.

She grabbed Jayden by both of his shoulders as he became more aggressive on top of her. His lips dropped to her neck like what he did in the cinema and instead of stopping him, she just closed her eyes and let him do whatever he wants to her.

She wanted to repeat what happened in the cinema. That tingling sensation he makes her feel, she wants to feel it again because it makes her feel so alive.

Lucky's breathing deepened when she felt his hand caressing her chest and since she was not wearing a bra under her sleepwear, he immediately touched the both of her breasts and massaged them gently.

"Jayden..." she moaned in pleasure.

Her lips parted as he squeezed both of her nipples and she moaned softly as he played with her nipples as his lips kissed her neck down, up to her ear, as well as her nape.

Lucky's body is burning, her body felt so hot and her womanhood is getting wet again.

She can feel her wetness coating her femininity.

"J-Jayden..." She moaned softly as he lifted her upper garment then kissed her from her navel up to her chest until his mouth reached her nipple.

"Jayden." Lucky moaned and her body arched. "Oh, Jayden..."

His tongue is licking around her nipple, making her pant and womanhood wet.

Her undies is getting soaked.

"Oh, Jayden..."

He grabbed both of her hands then pinned them on the both sides of her head while still kissing her chest.

She's so tiny beneath him but she doesn't feel powerless. She actually felt the opposite. She felt alive. She felt safe. She felt contented. And she felt happy.

And she wanted those feelings to remain and not go away.

So when he move to kiss her, she accepted the kiss and return it. She responded to his kiss even though she did not know if what she was doing was right.

She bit Jayden's lower lip as he inserted his hand into her womanhood.

She arched her body. "Uhmm..."

His finger already felt her wetness and was about to part her wet folds when they heard a door opening and slamming close.

Jayden stopped on what he is doing and they stared at each other.

Her lips parted. "I think someone just entered your apartment." She said breathlessly.

His forehead furrowed. "Who's going to---" His face darkened. "Kayden."

He quickly left on top of her and adjusted her clothes and wrapped her with a blanket and as he was about to leave the room, the door suddenly opened.

"Hey Jaydee." Kayden yawned and he sounds sleepy. "Can I sleep here? Fuck. I have sixteen hours of duty today but I still have duty tomorrow---" He stopped talking when he saw her laying on Jayden's bed.

Kayden blinked. Enumerable times. Before he looked at Jayden and then looked at her again.

"I---ahm, did I disturb something?" He asked.

Jayden shook his head while she nodded.

"Who is lying to the two of you?" Kayden asked the two of them. "On second thought, don't bother answering, I know it's you." He pointed at Jayden knowing he's the one who's lying and then he looked at her. "Shall we have coffee?"

Jayden glared at Kayden. "She has a heart disease. She is not allowed to drink coffee."

"I'm the only one who is gonna drink coffee, you'll just have some water." Kayden said then he did not leave the room until she got up from laying on the bed.

When she left the bed and left Jayden's room, Kayden immediately walked next to her.

"Baby girl, you guys are doing the thing that I'm thinking right now, am I correct?" He raised his eyebrows at her. "Don't lie to me."

She bit her lower lip. "I like it."

Kayden put his hands on his hips. "What did I tell you?"

"Do not be a softy." She replied with a weak voice.

"Then what is this? Isn't this being a softy?"

She looked down and played with her fingers. "But I like it. I like how he makes me feel alive by his kisses and touch and---"

"Okay. That's too much information. Come, join me for coffee."

She followed Kayden to the kitchen. He brewed coffee and then gave her water.

"Now, why are you in his room?"

"I had a bad dream." She replied. "I went to him so I could talk to someone."

He tsked. "And you kissed him and you know, lay with him?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

She bit her lower lip. "Because I'm a softy?"

Kayden nodded quickly. "Good thing you know." Then he looked at Jayden who had just entered the kitchen. "And you---"

"Want to get stabbed?"

Kayden was silent then stood up while carrying his coffee. "I'll just be in the living room. I love my life, I don't want to be stabbed." Then he whispered to her. "If you continue what you're doing, don't be loud okay? I don't want to have a bad dream."

Jayden kicked Kayden, who just laughed then went to the living room.

And when her eyes met Jayden, he smiled softly at her before carrying her back to his room.

When he lay her down on the bed, he took off his tank top and then position himself on top of her again and pressed a warm kiss to her lips to which she responded wholeheartedly.

She thought he would do what he did earlier but she was surprised when he stopped kissing her and then buried his face in her neck.

"Sorry."

She frowned. "For?"

"For being too fast. I wasn't thinking right. I forgot you were sick."

She bit her lower lip. "I want it too, so it's okay."

"But still, I'm sorry. I just couldn't control myself earlier. I promise, I'll hold back more so that it doesn't happen again and your heart doesn't hurt. I don't want you to think that this is all I want from you. I'm sorry. I slipped."

She wrapped her arms around Jayden kissed him on the shoulder. "How about will get some sleep, okay?"

"Yeah. Let's do that."

Jayden lay down next to her and make her arm as his pillow, because of this, she can't helped but smile.

It looks like he want some cuddles.

She stroked his hair then kissed him on the forehead before softly sang to him until she felt his breathing deepen and she also fell asleep.

The last thing she felt was Jayden hugging her waist and burying his face on her neck while murmuring Sophia's name and whispering.

'I'm sorry, I can't leave my Lucky.'