CHAPTER 35:WAR B/W HEART AND MIND
Raj 's pov
Simran 's brother arrived from nowhere and interrupted us, I felt annoyed and to increase my annoyance he was behaving like a typical brother , I tried my best to maintain my cool, and when he directly asked me why did I hurt his sister, my anger increased, I am hurting his sister or she is hurting me?
"ask her", I said coldly and walked off
I directly went to the parking area, sameer and vijay followed me
"Raj Kya kar rahe te tum dono jo uska bhai itna gussa ho gaya?" , sameer questioned
"jaake usko pucho", I said
"why are you so annoyed", vijay asked
" because I am fucking annoyed because of her behaviour", I said loudly
"so you guys didn't speak? ", sameer asked again
" no, she doesn't want to", I replied while wearing my helmet
"Tu shaant ho jaa sab theek ho jaayega ", vijay said
"looks like her brother already hates you", sameer said
" looks like she hates me too", I said and started the bike
I drove to my house and parked my bike and went inside the house, my mom opened the door
I didn't even greet her and started walking upstairs
"you have become so mannerless, aren't you,
mom shouted
I looked at her said sorry and hugged her while faking a smile , she smiled back
"come and have dinner with us", she said and went towards the dining
Everyone was already seated, I didn't want them to start their interrogation so I quietly went and joined
I quietly had my dinner and left the dining area, I went inside the bedroom and locked it
I threw the jacket and mobile on my bed and went to get freshen up
After shower I came out of the bathroom and sat down on my bed
bloody hell samajta kya hai khud ko mai hurt karuga Simran ko ye saare bhai aise hi hote hai kya over- protective ,I questioned myself
My head was aching badly may be because of stress and all that happened today, it was one of the most dramatic day of my life
" raj open the door", mom said
I went towards the door and opened it
"kya huwa mom? "I asked her
" tu theek tho haina", mom asked
"theek hoon ", I said
mom came inside and sat on my bed and asked me to come , I went towards her and was about to sit beside her but she stopped
" sit down ", she said
she was Carrying oil to massage my head
I smiled looking at her and sat down facing my back towards her and taking the support of the bed
she started applying the oil and started massaging my head , I closed my eyes
" chal ab bataa kya baat hai", mom asked
"hmm",I hmmed instead of replying to her
she again asked the same question little louder, drawing my attention towards her
" you look hurt, disturbed and may be guilty too? kya baat hai beta apni mom se share nahi karega? ", mom asked
I got up from there and sat beside my mom and kept my head on her lap
" kya huwa beta?" she asked again as she placed her hand on my hair gently caressing it
"i don't know mumma, I just can't handle the ignorance of people I love the most , I just don't want to lose them", I said
I didn't even know when a lone tear passed from my eyes which didn't get unnoticed by my mom, she wiped it with her palm, I was closing my eyes
I didn't get any response from her so I opened my eyes to look at my mom
"mom kya mai itna bura hoon?" I asked her
she had tears in her eyes too
"bilkul nahi,mera sab se accha baccha hai tu", she said holding my chin lovingly
" tho phir main kisi ko bhi paane se pehle kho kyu deta hoon", I said looking at her
she smiled at me and replied " hum usko kabhi nahi khote jo sirf humara ho, jaise ki mai, tere papa, tera bhai, tere friends, ye sab tere hai unse tu chaahe jitna bhi lad le wo humesha tere paas aa hi jaate hai kyu ki wo tujhse pyaar karte hai, aur rahi baat uss ek special insaan ki jisse aap abhi abhi milo ho usko apna banaane mai time lagta hai , dekh raj girl's are extremely sensitive and emotional towards certain people,may be towards the people they love Or like, you have to earn her trust first, don't give up on something you really want, if you want her get her but by earning her love and trust" ,mom said
She gave answers to all my unasked questions, I got up from her lap and sat down beside her and hugged tightly
"samaj gaya na mera baccha? ", she asked
" sab samaj gaye thank you so much" , I said
"chal ab so jaa you look sleepy already" , she said and made me sleep properly and covered me with the blanket and switched off the lamp of the bedroom and left
I will earn your trust, your love Simran, I will earn it at any cost ,this time I won't give up easily,not on us, I said to myself and dozed off to sleep
Simran 's pov
Anjali told me everything veer bhaiya said to her
"what did you reply? ",I asked her
" i told the truth", she said
"what truth? "I asked her praying that she didn't tell him anything actually
" I told him that raj likes you and you are fond of him too", she replied looking at me nervously
"what the hell", I said in shock
" stop shouting" , she said asking me to lower my voice
"what did you do damn it, when did I tell you that I am fond of him?" , I asked her raising my eye brows
"so you are not fond of him?" she asked by crossing her hands across her chest
"ye mere sawaal ka jawaab nahi hai" , I said
"tho ye bhi mere sawaal ka bhi jawaab nahi hai", anjali said making me angry now
" tell me clearly do you like him or not?" , she asked me looking straight into my eyes , I unknowingly blushed
"tujhse baat karna hi bekaar hai", I said and got up to change
" running away aren't you?", she said
"mai bahut thak gayi hoon anju pls let me change and sleep" , I said taking night cloths for me and her from the closet , I came to give her night cloths
"didn't you feel anything for him when he kissed you today", she asked me making me freeze in the same position
" agar tum kuch feel nahi karti tho rok deti usko,don't deny the fact that you like him so much simmu please don't , he likes you a lot "
I blushed at every word she said to me, she was actually speaking the fact, she made me speechless, I didn't know what to say as I kept quiet for a while
"he deserves someone better", I said
"someone better in sense ? can you explain this?" , anjali asked
I went and sat beside her on the bed
"you know everything about me, tujhse kuch bhi chupa nahi hai, tu phir bhi aise puch rahi hai?" I asked her
"don't tell me you are pushing him away because of something that happened jismai tumhaari aur raj ki koi galti hai hi nahi and you actually like him, don't you?" anjali asked me
"my past is something which has left a huge scar in my heart and my mind anjali and I don't even know whether it will be healed anytime soon or not, I don't even know whether I will ever be free of night mares and anxiety attacks , I don't know mera pagalpan kabhi heal hoga ki nahi", as I said that tears rolled down from my eyes
Anjali hugged me immediately
" pagalpan nahi hai simmu aise mat bol please", she said while consoling me
I broke from the hug and continued to speak
"Hum sab kitna bhi deny karle but sach tho yahi hai ki I am mad, I go to a psychiatrist, I take therapies, raj bahut accha ladka hai and he deserves someone better,he has gone through so much,you know what he has such a child like heart so soft,he is so caring,so loving ,I adore him as a person ,haan thoda gusse waala hai, aur mai uska gussa bhi jhel nahi sakti" , I said with a smile though my eyes we're filled with tears
"you love him so much simmu, you love him, I can see that in your eyes ,please don't let him go , pyaar baar baar nahi hota simmu please samaj jaa abhi bhi time hai ", anjali said with tears in her eyes
I just got up from the bed without speaking anything and went to change
I came back and asked her to change ,without saying a word she went to change ,I went to bed and layed down , I kept sobbing my heart out silently, dealing with the pain in my chest, as if something broke down deeply