Chapter 53

"I'm sure if you just double-check your measuring," Hermione said in an attempt to be reassuring, "you'll do fine."

Milo grinned nervously, then steeled himself. He had the beginnings of a plan in mind, but for that he would need spells.

"So, erm, Milo my boy, where did you say you came from?" Fudge asked.

"Myra," Milo said proudly. "City of light! City of Magic!" The Myrari government, though completely inept at dealing with dragons, goblins, and bandits, nonetheless had a sophisticated system of Divinations set up to detect citizens who didn't add the legally-mandated city motto after saying the city's name. Milo wasn't sure exactly how far-reaching the effects were, so even here he made sure to say it—and, for that matter, think it. Nobody knew exactly what the punishment was for breaking that particular law, because nobody knew anyone who had ever done it.

Personally, Milo suspected that lawbreakers were retroactively erased from the timeline altogether.

"Where is that, exactly?" asked Fudge. "America? Europe?"

"Uh," said Milo. He wasn't sure, exactly, how secret he was supposed to keep his otherworldy nature. On the other hand, Fudge was probably watching him with a battery of Divinations (or whatever the local equivalent was called) to catch him lying. So, I can't tell the truth, and I probably can't tell a lie. "No," Milo said. "Not America or Europe." And now I need a diversion... "Did you see that ludicrous display last week?"

"I daresay! I had more Galleons riding on a Wanderer's victory than were in the Spanish Armada," Fudge said. "Mind, the Cannons were all riding Nimbus Two Thousands," he said. "That must have been the reason. Donated at the last minute by an anonymous benefactor. The Wanderers, though; rumour has it they were on an experimental new broom. Must have been rubbish, though."

Milo's curiosity was perked. If there's one thing every adventurer listens to, it's unfounded rumours told by fat little men. He knew his present situation was dire, but he just had to dig for more information.

"An experimental broom?" Milo asked.

"So I'd heard. Made by a total unknown in Wales somewhere, doesn't even have a proper name yet. It's all very hush-hush, even to me—and I'm the Minister!"

"So, your, ah, Ministership, sir, do you have any guesses about who donated all the broomsticks?"

"Off the record? There's only one family with the wealth and influence to afford a team's set of Nimbuses with a vested interest in seeing the broomstick succeed," Fudge said conspiratorially, "and that's the Malfoys. Mr. Malfoy is on the Nimbus board of directors, you know."

Milo had no idea what a board of directors was, but he didn't care. Everything he heard seemed to be pointing to that family: the manor he first woke up in, Draco's very existence (and at the exact same age as him, too), Lucius in the forest —and wasn't Draco taunting him about Quidditch just the other day?

Milo knew an adventure hook when he saw one.

Later, Milo thought. First, I need to avoid being expelled. Expulsion would be inconvenient and annoying, but it wasn't as if Milo had any vested interest in obtaining a magic education in the wrong sort of magic. Mostly, he just wanted to stay in Hogwarts because Lucius, for some reason, wanted him out.

"Ah, here we are," said Fudge as they approached Snape's classroom in the dungeons. "You know, when I attended this school, this was where they used to lock us when we misbehaved. Ah, the joys of youth."

Without even being prompted, Macnair and Bode each opened one of the double doors, allowing Fudge to enter. Milo was still unsure if the man's bumbling nature was an act or not.

Milo and Hermione followed, with Fudge's underlings behind them.

Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, and a small group of men Milo didn't recognize were waiting in the classroom for them. Something about the way the group of men stood, and the fact that they were all dressed the same, made Milo think they were some form of wizard police or military. What was the word for that? They had a word for that¸ Milo thought, trying to remember. It was in one of the books he'd read with Scholar's Touch.

Sitting in the middle of the classroom was a small, pewter cauldron. Next to it were the ingredients, such as they were, for Snape's test potion. Snape looked excited, McGonagall worried, and Dumbledore as enigmatic as always.

"In accordance with Section Thirty-Two-Point-One-Four-One-Alpha of the 1634 Statute on Inexplicable Phenomena of a Magical Nature," Umbridge declared in an authoritative voice, reading from a scroll she'd been carrying somewhere on her person, "which states, in the words of the Great Wizard Peabody, 'When something really, really, really wyrd happens, and hear ye me I do mean REALLY wyrd, and lo, it hath never happened before, and neither sir nor gentle lady knoweth what to do, let the goddamned Department of Mysteries handle it, y'hear? And forsooth, maketh sure there are at least a half-dozen Aurors around, if ye know what be good for ye,' the first preliminary inquiry to determine the nature of one entity known as 'Milo Amastacia-Liadon,' of a species yet to be determined, is to be convened, under the supervision of one Broderick Bode of the Department of Mysteries and in the presence of six fully-qualified Aurors of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Also in attendance are Hogwarts Professors Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, and Severus Snape, Dolores Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic, Walden McNair of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, Mafilda Hopkirk from the Improper Use of Magic Office, and... Ms. Hermione Granger. The objective of the inquiry is 1) to determine the species of the individual in question, 2) if he turns out to be human, whether he is a wizard, squib, or... otherwise, 3) if not a wizard, determine how he got past the magical wards protecting this castle and the village known as Hogsmeade, 4)if not human, to turn the inquiries over to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures for study and, if deemed appropriate, execution. Let the inquisition commence."

Umbridge put away her parchment and stepped back.

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