Prologue: Akaashi's POV

"You finally looked happy," I said to Tsuki while we're watching Japan versus Argentina together with some of our friends.

His smile is beautiful. And it's because finally, he's free from all of his self-loathing. Even when there are still moments that he wanted to run away. But Sakusa-san is always by his side reassuring him, that everything will be okay.

Tsuki looked at me before he sweetly smiled with his eyes staring back to the court where his beloved scores once more against Argentina.

"I am. Although I sometimes feel guilty that I take away from him a chance to live normally, to have a family." He answered and smiled a bit sad.

I tapped his back.

"Don't be. For sure, Sakusa-san thinks the same way you do. That he takes your freedom to love normally. Besides, you two are already family, right?" I teased that made him blush.

Only a few people know that they got married or rather say that Tsuki got adopted to Sakusa-san's family months after the latter got discharged from the hospital.

"How's married life?" I asked that made him redder.

"It's euphoric. When we're together, there's no dull moment. We rarely fight, mostly because of how clingy he is when it's just the two of us." He complained but sounded like he's bragging.

"Now Tsuki's bragging his married life. This is annoyingly new." I said that made us both laughed.

"But honestly, I didn't know that I'd be this happy even after all the bad things I did. Even though I already apologized to Kuroo-san and Kenma. Part of me thinks that I don't deserve this kind of happiness." He looked anxious and at the same time looked glad. I can see how his eyes glistened whenever Kiyoomi-san scores and looked in our way.

"You've been sad for years, Tsuki. So, you deserve to be happy," I said that somehow relieved him.

I looked back at the court where Bokuto san is and felt lonely when I see how happy he is even without me beside him. Even our relationship is close to falling apart. He doesn't look like struggling at all while I'm on the verge of crying.

Why would he feel like that when you're the reason why he got heartbroken before? It's because of your selfishness. And you're just paying the price.

I bit my lip so hard to suppress my tears after my mind mockingly said that. I know that it's my fault why he's been so cold to me lately.

Why can't you just be thankful that I haven't left yet?

I remembered his words the last time we fought. And to be honest, it's so painful hearing that from him even though I've already expected this kind of treatment after he learned what I did before.

Before he and I dated.

"Akaashi-san? Are you okay? The match has an end. Do you want to meet them?" Tsuki asked that made me stopped biting my lips. I faked a smile and nod.

But when we're about to go to their bench, I saw a figure walking towards Bokuto-san. And my heartaches a lot when he hugged her tight in front of his teammates.

"A-Akaashi-san?" Tsuki sounds worried but, since I'm an expert in hiding my emotions, I smiled.

"It's fine Tsuki. I'll go to the rest-room. You go to them first." I said and hurriedly went to the nearest comfort room.

I vomited bile when I entered one of the cubicles and cried silently, remembering what I saw earlier.

She's back.

Yukie Shirofuku is back.

Bokuto-san's first love.

And the only person he wanted to spend his life with.

"I already warned you before Akaashi that you will only suffer if you do that thing, but you didn't listen." I heard Konoha's voice outside the cubicle where I am.

"Shut up!" I hissed and walked out of the cubicle glaring at him. "I don't regret anything I did. Besides, I know that somewhere in his heart, I have a place."

Konoha laughed to my annoyance so, I shoved him and walked to the faucet to wash my face.

"Do you think he will love the person who lied to him and ruined his relationship? Wake up Akaashi! Did you see how happy he is when he saw Yukie? That's the first time I saw him smile like that after all these years. I bet he never told you even just once that he loves you." He said that made me snapped.

"Shut the hell up!" I shouted angrily that startled the group of guys who entered the comfort room and I was shocked to see Bokuto-san and his team.

"Akaashi-san?" Shoyo looked worried but, I put up a smile and congratulate them.

I couldn't look at Bokuto-san because I'm afraid to see the disgust and hatred on his face like that time, when he learned about the sin I did together with Konoha. I was about to go when Bokuto-san grabbed me by the hand and drag me outside the comfort room. He had a dangerous look on his face when he slammed me on the cold concrete.

"Are you planning something again against Yukie? I'm warning you Akaashi. I won't forgive you this time." He said in an angry voice that broke my heart into pieces.

"You really love her. Even now, it's still her." I murmured the truth that I've been trying to deny my whole life with a blank expression on my face and pushed him away.

He didn't expect what I do next. I kneeled in front of him on both knees while holding his hands.

"I'm sorry. Don't worry. I won't do anything. Just please Bokuto-san. Don't leave me." I begged and let the tears escaped my eyes.