The Smack Heard 'Round the Ravine #21

"Well, it wouldn't do for me to leave you like this..." Adrian chuckled as he studied Alexander's form, half-buried into the dirt as it was. "How can I help?" He asked, pausing as he waited for an answer.

Adrian's smile grew wider as he listened to Alexander's request. "My thanks! A thousand thanks!" the jar exclaimed with gratitude. "Just give me a good smack from the rear with something nice and big."

Raising an eyebrow in amusement, Adrian couldn't help but respond. "Let's be careful with our choice of words," he said, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "We wouldn't want any misunderstandings, would we?"

Alexander's voice resonated with humor as he assured Adrian, "Oh, fear not! There will be no misunderstandings between a tarnished and a tarnished warrior such as yourself! It's biologically impossible, you see!"

Chuckling at the jar's lightheartedness, Adrian shook his head in amusement. He stepped behind Alexander, preparing to fulfill the unusual request. Before delivering the smack, Adrian stretched his arms, loosening his muscles, and prepared himself for the swing. He reached for the greatsword he had looted from the carriage near the Gatefront, its weight comforting in his grip.

Adrian held the sword by the blade, gripping it tightly like a baseball bat. Positioning himself behind Alexander, he glanced at the jar over his shoulder. "Are you absolutely sure you won't crack or something?" Adrian asked, his concern genuine.

Alexander's response was filled with confidence. "Put those doubts to rest, my friend. I assure you, I'll be just fine," he declared. "I am very well trained. Give it your all, I say!"

Adrian took a deep breath, winding up his swing, and brought the greatsword down with a resounding thud. The impact echoed through the ravine as Alexander cried out in surprise. "Ah! Ouch!" he exclaimed, feeling the force of the blow.

Undeterred, Adrian swiftly followed up with two more powerful smacks, each met with exclamations from Alexander. "Ah! Ouch! Ah!" The third and final strike dislodged Alexander from the ground, sending him skidding over the dirt.

Slowly, Alexander rose to his feet, his body covered in a thin layer of dust. He crossed his arms and turned to face Adrian, a mix of admiration and amusement on his face. "Ahh! Well played, sir-- Well played," he commended, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. "Though that mighty wallop of yours almost spelt my end!"

Pausing for a reaction, Alexander added, "spelt, get it cause I'm a jar!? Ha ha ha ha?" He chuckled at his own wordplay, hoping to elicit a response from Adrian.

Adrian couldn't help but relent, chuckling while rolling his eyes. "I see what you did there," he admitted, appreciating Alexander's humor.

Clearing his throat, Alexander continued, "Well, I'm out now, and that's what counts!" He reached behind his back, producing a pickled, dried-up piece of meat shimmering with red particles. Holding it out to Adrian, he spoke sincerely, "I thank you, and as a token of my appreciation, I'd like you to have this."

Adrian's smiled as he accepted the item. It was Exalted Flesh, a consumable item known for increasing attack power for a limited period of time. He nodded gratefully, acknowledging the significance of the gift.

"Thank you, Alexander," Adrian said sincerely. "I appreciate your gratitude, and this will definitely come in handy."

"Once again, the pleasure is mine," Alexander reintroduced himself with a hint of grandeur. "I am the warrior jar known as Alexander. Iron Fist Alexander, in fact..." His voice trailed off as if relishing his own impressive title. "I journey to the east, where I intend to further my education in the ways of war."

Adrian nodded, acknowledging Alexander's aspirations. "Ways of war, eh?" he commented. "What's in the east?"

A mischievous glint danced in Alexander's eyes as he answered, "Beyond these lands lie the scarlet rot-blighted Caelid Wilds. And upon their southern edge is Redmane Castle where a festival of combat is being held."

Curiosity sparked within Adrian as he pondered the purpose of such a festival. "And what do you hope to accomplish there?" he inquired.

Alexander's jar body seemed to quiver with excitement. "To better myself, of course!" he exclaimed. "I've heard whispers of such festivities before-- to fight a living legend... Doesn't the notion set your breast aflutter!?"

Adrian, more focused on the practicalities of survival, chuckled softly. "I'm more concerned with staying alive," he replied honestly.

"To each their own... but I hope our paths will cross again!" Alexander shrugged, accepting Adrian's different perspective. Sensing the conversation drawing to a close, Adrian excused himself, summoning Torrent to his side. With a smooth motion, he mounted the steed and prepared to continue his journey.

"Good luck on your endeavors, Alexander," Adrian said, bidding farewell. "May your path be filled with triumph, etc, etc." He concluded with a chuckle as he turned to leave.

Alexander waved a jar hand dismissively, his eyes brimming with confidence. "And may your battles be victorious, my friend. Farewell!"

As Adrian urged Torrent forward, the pair descended back into the ravine, the sound of hooves echoing through the narrow passageway. They pressed onward, heading east toward an ancient-looking bridge spanning a chasm.

Adrian urged Torrent to halt at the site of grace at the beginning of the bridge. With a swift motion, he activated the site, its ethereal glow enveloping him in a moment of respite. Seated on the ground, he leaned against the nearby rock, letting his tired body relax.

As he caught his breath, Adrian reached into his bag and retrieved his trusty telescope, a prized possession he had acquired during his travels. Adjusting the lens, he raised it to his eye and directed his gaze toward the bridge before him.

The bridge appeared weathered and worn, its stone tiles uneven and some dislodged, Father Time having taken its toll on the structure, leaving it in a state of disrepair. Along the sides of the bridge stood numerous towering stone statues, their stoic presence adding an air of ancient mystery to the scene.

However, Adrian's attention was immediately drawn to the imposing figure standing in the middle of the bridge. The creature stood tall, its skin a dark, blackened hue that contrasted with the surrounding environment. Its oversized helmet, resembling a grotesque pumpkin, obscured its face, lending an eerie and otherworldly aura to its presence.

In the creature's hand, it wielded a massive hammer—a formidable weapon composed of a long stick with a large rock affixed to its end. Adrian's eyes couldn't help but twitch as he took in the sight of the crude yet deadly implement. The weight of the hammer was evident in the creature's grip, and the worn surface of the rock suggested countless battles fought.

As the creature brandished its weapon, its actions were bizarre, a strange combination of primal aggression and peculiar finesse. The towering humanoid emitted a series of eerie howls, each sound sending a shiver down Adrian's spine. It seemed to communicate in a language of its own, a mixture of guttural growls and haunting cries that echoed through the air.

"This weird fucking thing... what kind of pervert comes up with this shit...?!" Adrian muttered under his breath, his voice laced with fascination and unease. He couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling that emanated from the creature, sending a shiver down his spine. Its bizarre movements and haunting howls gave him pause, making him question the sanity of the situation.

As he observed the creature's strange thrusting motions with its oversized hammer, a wry smile tugged at the corner of Adrian's lips. "Well, I guess we can add 'interpretive dance with a giant rock' to the list of things I never thought I'd see and never want to see again."

Shaking his head to clear his mind, Adrian turned away from the unsettling sight of the strange creature on the bridge. Carefully, he folded the telescope and stowed it back into his bag as if putting away a window into a bizarre world.

With a few lingering glances at the site of grace, Adrian felt a renewed sense of determination. He knew he couldn't stay in this place for long, as there were more challenges and mysteries awaiting him in the Lands Between.

Summoning Torrent again, he approached the loyal steed, patting its side as a gesture of reassurance. The horse snorted softly as if sensing its rider's unease. Adrian mounted Torrent, feeling the strength and power beneath him, ready to carry him swiftly away from this unsettling encounter.

"I won't even try to ride between the damned thing's legs," Adrian muttered to himself, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his lips. The memory of the overpowering stench from the previous encounter with the troll was still fresh in his mind. He was determined never to repeat the same mistake ever again.

Taking a deep breath and steeling his resolve, Adrian urged Torrent to gallop forward. His eyes were fixed on the path ahead, searching for signs of danger or obstacles. He held his breath momentarily, bracing himself for whatever lay in wait as if by willpower he could avoid any unwanted odors.