Chapter 42

"Alexander. Thank you for inviting me.", the guest replies stiffly.

Alex breathes in deep and nervously adds, "This is Daniel Smith. We are in his house." His heart starts beating crazily, he can't bear to look at his brother but still manages to a say in a steady voice "He is my boyfriend."

His heart clenches when he sees his brother flinch but at the same time he feels unbearably happy. His boyfriend. It is the first time he openly introduced him to someone as such.

He feels his brother's questioning gaze on him as he noticed him smiling. So he elaborates "I am sorry Christian but this is actually the first time I openly introduced him as my boyfriend." He adds in a shy voice. "It is just a special feeling."

Alex thinks he sees Christian's eyes widen in surprise for a split second. But then he only nods curtly. Daniel notices that Christian doesn't offer a handshake but so doesn't he. He still feels angry about what happened in the movie theatre and about his family's rejection making his lover cry. He just swallows it for now because of his boyfriend.

So he only says "Mr. Johnson, please come inside. My sister is nearly finished preparing dinner." They lead Christian inside. Daniel offers them seats in the living room intentionally guiding Alex to sit beside him. But he feels the distance Alex is creating sitting on the far end of the couch.

Christian looks around the living room. "Where is that dog?"

"He is at my apartment. I know you are not comfortable with him so I didn't bring him."

Christian's face clearly shows a 'Do you really think that is what makes me uncomfortable?' on his face.

"Can I offer you a glass of wine or an aperitive?", Daniel slips into the role of the host trying to at least cover the awkward silence.

"No, thank you." Daniel furrows his eyebrows. He isn't making this easy for him.

"Love, what would you like?", too late he realizes he used the endearment. Alex looks at him horrified, frantically shooting glances to his brother to check whether he noticed. And sure enough the jerk of a brother furrows his eyebrows but at least he keeps his mouth shut.

The awkwardness is thankfully interrupted by Dana who shouts "Please, come into the kitchen. Dinner is ready."

Daniel breathes in deeply calming his boiling rage. "You heard my sister, please follow me." And he thus leads the way.

"This is my sister, Dana Christiansen."

"Good evening, Mr. Johnson. It is nice having you with us.", she greets politely. She already listened in to the awkward conversation earlier. This was going to be one hell of a dinner party...

"Thank you for having me, Miss Christiansen." Christian answers politely, his eyes intently fixed on her.

Without correcting his mistake addressing her or inquiring why he would stare at her like that, she quickly orders, "Please, take seats. I will serve the food."

While Dana places beautifully arranged plates in front of everyone, Alex admits "Dana, I didn't know you had a different surname then Daniel."

"Oh yes, I still keep the surname of my late husband."

"Oh, you were married?", Christian asks politely, but definitly with more curiosity than mere chit-chat deserved.

"Yes, he passed away two years ago. We had a son, Peter who is now in teacher Alex' kindergarten group. That's how my brother came to know him."

Ignoring the later part Christian asks incredulous. "You work as a kindergarten teacher?"

Daniel and Dana look at each other, surprised. He didn't know? But Alex answers calmly, "Yes, after moving out from home I wanted to be independent and looked for a job. They offered good conditions and I found an apartment in walking distance so I applied."

"Why? Mom and dad would provide for your studies, you can take over dad's office together with me. We planned for that since we were kids."

"I know, Christian, and I am sorry. But I needed to become independent. I wanted to stand on my own two feet."

Christian doesn't seem convinced but he lets it rest for now.

They start eating but Christian feeling restless in this uncomfortable situation can't really taste anything. So he looks up at the others again and notices something he already was aware of before.

He asks, "Alexander, if that blonde appearance is your type why don't you just date the sister? They look very much alike and it would make everything easier."

Alex flinches under these words. He barely brings out "I... I am sorry. I can't..."

But Daniel interrups him bruskely, "Alex, why are you constantely apologizing? You are not in the wrong." He turns to Christian "And you, dear brother-in-law, why don't you finally cut the bulls...."

"Daniel! Enough!", Dana cuts in before her foolish brother can make this situation even worse.

But what they didn't expect was Christian, finally snapping. "Why am I the bad guy here? My brother whom I was really close with suddenly decides he likes guys and moves out from home not even giving me a notice. I was obliviously on vacation that time. I only heard it from my mother a week after it happened, over a phone call."

"I am sorry. You were away and I quickly needed to move out."

"'Needed to move out'? Why? Everything was provided for! It is not like they disowned you!"

"No, but I couldn't live freely with them. I am sorry but I just couldn't."

"So you moved out. For what? Becoming a kindergarten teacher? You don't even like kids! Or to chase after some guy?"

"I am sorry.", Alex' voice sounds small and apologetic.

"'I am sorry.' Is that all you can say?", Christian imitates him with a whinery voice.

Alex has enough, tears of rage and sadness forming in his eyes, he stands up and yells at his brother, "You don't know anything! I suffered for years. I felt suffocated - for years. That day I came out to our parents I hit rock bottom and when Dad showed me nothing but shock and told me I could move out I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out. Do you think I like this? Do you think I want to be gay? Being a minority? My mind and body decided it for me years ago, I can't change it. I can only bear with it. I was so afraid - for years. But now finally, I have a chance at happiness and all you do is reject it. How do you expect me to confide in you if this is your answer?"

Christian is visibly stunned by his little brother's speech. Especially since he sees tears start to stream down his cheeks. It sobers his rage up abruptly. His reasonable side comes forth.

"Okay. I admit some of these points sound true. But I still don't understand." He sits back in his chair, motioning for Alex to sit back down. "Alexander, sit back down. I am realizing I don't understand your situation. So tell me. Tell me everything you couldn't tell me the last few years."

The brothers look into each other's eyes. They both show a determination to solve this.

Dana and Daniel just sit back quietly. They didn't even had a chance to cut in but then it seems it all went well despite of it. So Daniel just starts refilling all of their wine glasses.

It will become a long night and he has a feeling, they will need the alcohol.

Then Alex starts to talk.