"Morgan," came the cold voice of Uther.
Stiffening up, I slowly turned around, only to meet his unfeeling green eyes.
"Father?" I said reluctantly.
At my tone, his eyes sharpened momentarily. "Where were you headed," he demanded in a firm tone, causing me to momentarily fold in on myself.
"I was going to visit Mother," I said weakly, causing the taller man's face to morph into a full on frown.
"Igraine is not taking the pregnancy well, so you will stay clear of her room to not cause her undue stress," he said harshly, and I could only meekly nod.
Uther had never liked me, despite the fact that I looked a lot like him.
Mother said it's because he wanted a son, but I believe it's because, like him, I don't feel any connection between us.
There is no spark, or feeling of happiness that I feel like when I am around Mother, or when I am outside the castle and walk around the forest.
I'm sure that he'd have thrown me out if I hadn't had the same green eyes and blonde hair as him, as he barely tolerates my presence.
Seemingly satisfied with my reaction, Uther walked past me, in the direction of where Mother's room was.
I watched Uther carefully, and as he turned a corner, I fixed my posture and frowned.
It's disgusting that he blames me for Mothers misfortune, saying that my mere presence is enough to cause her to miscarry.
I'd find it more believable that Uther's lack of love and attention for his queen has led to her depressive state, which has been affecting her pregnancies.
With a frown on my face, I leaned into the flickering shadows, allowing myself to feel an intrinsic connection to the darkness.
And with barely a thought, I felt them coil around me, slightly obscuring me.
Hugging the wall, I leapt from shadow to shadow, as I slowly made my way down the halls, passing guards and maids alike.
As I reached the physician's wing, I walked to an empty corridor, and canceled my concealment.
Walking out from the empty corridor, I walked to the door leading to where the royal patient's were kept.
Reaching up to the door's knocker, I stood on my tip toes, and grabbed the handle, before tapping it against the wood.
Releasing it, I took a step back, and waited for a moment, before the door creaked open.
A man with graying hair and amber eyes, wearing a brown tunic and white shirt opened the door, and looked around, before glancing down to the floor, allowing our eyes to meet.
"Ah, Lady Morgan," said the older gentleman, with a kind smile. "Are you here to check in on the queen," he said in a kind tone.
Smiling back at him, I nodded my head. "Yes, I've heard she's gotten worse, so I thought that I should spend some time with her," I explained calmly.
My words seemed to have stuck a cord with the man, as his gaze slightly dimmed, before his expression fixed itself.
"What a good daughter you are," he said in a genuine tone, before stepping aside.
"I'm sure you know where to find her," he said while gesturing at another door in his office.
Smiling at the man, I gave a slight bow, which was more than a peasant deserved, but the man had been both kind and patient with me, despite knowing of the king's dislike of me visiting my mother.
So I was willing to bend some social norms with him, as long as he kept it up.
Passing him, I walked to the door, where I knew my mother was, and slowly pushed it open.
"Mother?" I said in a low voice, while poking my head into the room.
I could barely see the outline of mothers bed, thanks to the light emitting through the door.
My words caused a slight rustling to emit from the bed, causing me to feel a bit bad for having woken mother up.
"Morgan?" An exhausted voice came from the bed.
"I can leave if you're too tired," I said quickly, as I hadn't meant to wake her when she was so exhausted.
The sound of light tapping on her mattress followed my words. "No, please stay, I haven't seen you in too long," Mother said softly.
Smiling, I let go of the door and entered the room.
As I stepped into the room, the door slammed shut, followed by the room being plunged into pure darkness.
"Eep!"
Quickly I lit a small flame atop my finger, illuminating the room for the two of us.
Mother was the only one I was comfortable knowing about my magecraft, as I'm unsure what Uther would do if he knew of it.
Mother had a hand in front of her mouth, and seemed to be stifling some laughter.
"Not funny," I pouted, causing her laughter to grow.
Pursing my lips, I walked over to a nearby desk, where a few clay oil-lamps stood ready to be used.
Raising my finger, I lit one of the lamps, before extinguishing the fire.
Picking it up, I moved towards Mother, and placed it on her night table.
Mother moved the hand that she had been using to tap a spot on the bed, before lightly scooting to the side, making some more room for me.
I eagerly climbed onto the tall bed frame, laid down next to her, and pulled some of the quilt over me.
As I found a comfortable position, I felt a hand being placed atop my head, and gently thread its fingers through my hair.
"How are you, Morgan," Mother said in a gentle tone, causing me to lean into her warm hand.
"I'm fine, just a bit bored," I lied with contemptuous ease, as the topic wouldn't do her health any favors.
Mother seemed to give a low hum, as if musing over the truthfulness of my statement.
Not wanting to give her any time to get to the right conclusion, I leaned into Mother's side, and looked up at her with concern.
"But how are you? You have been in here for weeks, and you can barely walk anymore, what's happening to you?" I questioned with some fear lacing my words.
At the end of my question, Mothers hand had stopped threading through my hair, and instead moved her hand to my shoulder, and pulled me into her side.
"I'm… just tired, I think?" She said in an unsure tone. "I just can't seem to find the strength to do things these days…"
Looking up at her, I felt my jaw clench.
Mother looked like she had suddenly aged by years, as her once shimmering raven hair was showing a few gray strands and roots, her blue eyes seemed dull, and were accompanied by bags under them.
Her skin seemed too white, as if she was suffering an infection, or heavy loss of blood.
It baffles me that a pregnant woman could look so sick, as the two other times she had been pregnant, she had never looked so close to death.
Seemingly picking up on my nervousness, she started to draw circles on my stomach, with the arm she had wrapped around me.
"Morgan, I've done this three times before, I'll be fine," she soothed, while leaning her head on mine.
"I just hope that you'll finally be an older sibling," she added with a hint of longing.
At her words, I could only hug her tightly.
I didn't want to see mother waste away in front of those unmasked graves anymore, and I don't think that she could handle another unmarked grave.
It wasn't fair.
Especially when Uther never deigns to visit them, causing mother to visit them in his place, so that they wouldn't be lonely.
As I clung to my mother, the sound of knocks came from the door.
Swiftly, as if already used to this, Mother pulled the quilt over me, before giving a low cough.
"Enter," she said in a tired, but regal tone.
Slowly, I heard the door creek open.
"Ah, a good morning to you, my Queen," came an amused voice from the doorway.
A voice I had heard many times in my dreams.
Merlin, Uther's court magician.
I don't know how he does it, but I keep on seeing him in my dreams when I dream of a perfect land and being grown up.
I'd be lying on the lime green grass, while gazing up at the light blue sky, only for the white haired man to interrupt my relaxation.
I don't know why, but my adult self seems to like him, as we would do things together, that I've only seen smitten maids do to the more handsome looking guards in the castle.
Perhaps I'd go on to hit my head some time in the future, it would go on to explain why he had to teach me the basics of magecraft, despite me already knowing them now as a child…
Or maybe this is one of those paradox things, and I am sending my future memories into my past self to help me…
God, I knew I was amazing.
"What do you want, Wizard," Mother bit back in an annoyed tone.
Clearly not liking the fact that he had interrupted our Mother daughter time.
"I'm sorry to interrupt you and your daughter," [Lies] "but I need her to leave, so that I can do a check up, and a few tests," he explained in a happy tone.
There was a beat of silence for a moment.
How the hell did he find out I was in here! Was it the doctor? How dare he ra—
I felt the cover over me being flung off, causing my thoughts to be cut short.
Slowly, I glanced up at Mother, who sent me a sad and tired look.
She gently moved her hand though my hair once more, before retracting her hand.
Slowly, she moved her arms around me, and pulled me into a hug.
"I love you Morgan," she whispered, before breaking the hug.
"Go out and play, Morgan," she said reluctantly while patting my back.
Mustering all of my will power, my face did not contort with anger at Merlin and Uther's meddling… and I reluctantly slid out of the bed, and moved towards the door.
As I was about to pass the mage, I stopped and looked up at him.
"Wizard," I spat, causing the taller man to look down at me with trace amounts of amusement.
"Will your treatment help Mother?" I asked, causing the handsome man to raise a white brow.
"Naturally," [Lies] he said calmly.
My frown instinctively depend at his apparent lie. "Will it negatively affect the child?" I said in a worried tone.
Merlin shook his head fervently. "No, if anything, it will positively affect them," he explained, causing me to give a sigh of relief.
It would seem that I had poorly phrased my former question, and I might have jumped to a few… negative conclusions…
But if it's for the good of my sibling, then it should be fine… after all, Uther wouldn't dare harm mother while she holds a potential male heir.
And I need a happy mother, as I can't bear to see her lose another child.
I can't bear to see that hollow look in her eyes again.
Never again.
~~Fate/False Order~~
"Igraine is dead."
"What!?"
Uther's cold gaze looked down at me, not an iota of emotion present in them. "Igraine died during childbirth," he repeated in a detached tone.
Upon hearing the words, it felt as if the very air around me had been sucked out of the garden.
My chest tightened, and for a moment, I couldn't breathe.
The world seemed to blur at the edges, as the reality of what Uther had just said was struggling to take root in my mind.
Dead.
The word echoed inside my head, over and over, as if by repeating it, I could force it to make sense, to be something other than an unbearable truth.
My mother—gone.
The woman who had been my anchor, my warmth, the only light in this cold, stone prison we called a castle.
I tried to swallow, but my throat had gone dry, as if all the moisture had been leached from my body.
The words I wanted to speak lodged in my throat, turning into a painful lump that wouldn't move.
My lips parted, but no sound came out, only a faint, desperate rasp.
My hands clenched into fists at my sides, nails digging into my palms as I struggled to hold on to something—anything—that would keep me from falling apart.
But the harder I tried to control it, the more the grief surged within me, threatening to drown me in its suffocating embrace.
How could this have happened?
I had seen her a few weeks ago, weak but alive, clinging to the hope of meeting the child growing within her.
Now, the very thought of that child felt like a cruel joke.
My mother had given everything, and for what?
A trembling breath escaped me, and I finally forced myself to speak, though my voice was barely a whisper, raw and broken.
"No... she can't be…" But the words were hollow, even to my own ears.
Uther's gaze was impassive, no, it was uncaring.
"The funeral will be held in three days," he said in a dismissive tone, before giving me one last glance, and turning around.
How… how can he be so dismissive!
How dare he act like nothing important has happened!
Ignoring the trembling in my legs, I took a shaky step forwards, and grabbed his mantle with a trembling hand.
The minute tug, caused Uther to stop, and turn his head around to look down at me.
"Wh– what about the child," I ground out, in a shaky voice.
His eyes seemed to sharpen, before they returned to their apathetic look.
"The child was stillborn," [Lies], "and will be buried with her mother," [Lies] he said calmly, before tugging his mantle out of my grip, and moving away.
I barely noticed him leaving the garden, as I just couldn't understand why.
Why did he lie?
Where was my sister?
And why hide her from me?
I don't know when it happened, but I found myself kneeling on the muddy grass, as I felt my dress was slowly drenched in the rain.
Looking up, I felt the cool sensation of rain splattering on my face, and slowly running down my head.
It wasn't fair.
Mother didn't deserve this.
I didn't deserve this.
Closing my eyes, I cried.
And cried, until I had nothing left to give.
I cried enough tears to make up for those who wouldn't cry for her.
The husband who didn't love her, the noble women that never once visited her during her time of need, the guards and maids that spread rumors about the Queen's declining health and the wizard who wouldn't let a dying mother see her child.
By the end of it, I was curled up in a muddy puddle, left with no more tears left to give.
~~Fate/False Order~~
The pitter patter of rain echoed in the nearly empty church, nearly overpowering the soft spoken cardinal, in the midst of him giving my Mother her burial rites.
The meek cardinal could barely lift his head while reciting Mothers last rites, as he probably felt shame at this sham of a funeral.
There were a grand total of three people attending the Queen's funeral, the cardinal, the organist and me, her daughter.
No nobles, no friends and no husband.
A total sham of a funeral, only done as customs demanded of Uther.
As the priest closed his Bible, and tossed a handful of dirt over my Mothers coffin and the infant sized one, which was probably empty, he stepped aside and glanced at me.
"My lady, do you wish to say farewell?" He asked softly.
Pushing myself off the pews, I strode over to the wooden coffin with a quilt embroidered with the design of a golden dragon on a red shield.
Looking down at it, I spoke.
"Open it."
There was a momentary silence, before the priest spoke up.
"M-my Lady, it wouldn't be proper fo—"
"Must I repeat myself?" I interrupted him sharply, while sending him a glare.
The old man seemed to tighten his grip on his bible, before slowly shaking his head.
"I'm sorry, but the King wouldn't ac–" "If he cared, then Uther would be here, so open it," I spat with anger.
Slowly the cardinal moved to the coffin and pulled off the quilt, before he slowly unhatched the cover.
As he slowly opened it, I was met with a woman with gray hair, with spots of black, slightly wrinkled skin, and an unhealthily thin complexion, surrounded by red tulips.
What the hell had the two bastards done to my mother…
Why did they suck the life out of her? It didn't make any sense…
Why kill her in such a slow way?
And using tulips, how crude. I doubt Uther cared about her at all.
Kneeling down, I swiped my hand over the flowers.
Slowly they morphed, turning into white and yellow lilies, and slowly green Ivy gently coiled itself around Mothers arms, and a small crown of pink roses found itself atop mothers head.
It was the least I could do for her, the least anyone could do for her.
Putting some modicum of effort to her eternal resting place.
And for as much as I despise Merlin, I find myself thankful that he has such a love for such superfluous magecraft surrounding flowers, as without it, Mother wouldn't get the send off she deserved.
Standing back up, I glared at the terrified looking Cardinal.
Slowly, shadows grew up from the floor, and pulled the lid back on, and put the quilt back on top of the coffin.
The man kept on muttering some nonsense about God retribution, or some such nonsense, causing me to scoff.
"Cardinal," I cut in coolly, causing the old man to look at me, panic still present in his eyes.
Raising a hand I snapped my fingers.
Slowly, I saw the old man's eyes glaze over, and his high strung body relaxed.
"You will forget that you ever opened the coffin, and you will forget anything you saw inside," I said in a calm tone.
The man nodded dumbly, causing me to continue.
"If asked about any noteworthy things during the funeral by Uther, you will say that I cried and could barely string a coherent sentence," I explained, which was followed by another nod by the old man.
Smiling, I snapped my fingers again, causing the old man's eyes to refocus, and he briefly looked confused.
I merely nodded at him before turning around, and moved back to sit at the pew.
Leaning on the pew, I could feel cold anger starting to boil in my veins.
I shoul– no, I need to kill Uther.
A bastard like that has no right to sit on a throne, no right to have children, nor the right to kill such a kind woman.
The only problem was how?
Uther was strong, I could never touch him if he didn't want me to.
Poison was out the window as well, as all his meals were under heavy scrutiny, and always tested beforehand.
And the last, and largest obstacle to his death, was Merlin.
I don't know what future me was thinking, fraternizing with such a scoundrel, but I couldn't fault my future self for not picking someone strong.
As from the little I had seen in the memories, it showed me that he was an absolute menace with the magecraft at his disposal.
I'd probably die in a matter of moments if the scoundrel wished it.
So there is only one thing I can do, and that is to bide my time, wait for the day Uther inevitably sells me off to some noble, or any place where I'm out of the wizards reach.
And then, once I am sufficiently powerful, I will orchestrate Uther's untimely demise, if not outright kill him.
But until then… I will wait in the shadows, until it's time to finally avenge mother.
And when I am done with Uther, I will move on to Merlin.
All of those who were responsible for mothers death, must meet the same end.
This I swear.
-----
A/N
Welcome back, my reader Overlords, please add this to your library and give me some comments, stones and Reviews, as it would be much appreciated.
Now that the mandatory begging is done, time to ask the hard hitting questions.
What are your thoughts on the chapter?
I might have shredded a few onions while writing this chapter, I hope it didn't affect anyone.
But what did you think of the origin story I cooked up for Morgan? And yes, there will be more eventually, as this is only the tip of the iceberg. So expect another chapter or two that center around Morgan's past.
Now, I should clear a few things up, for things to make sense.
Morgan's 'future visions' is actually her seeing things from Vivian's perspective. Vivian and Merlin would hang out there, and Vivian would learn magecraft in exchange for sex... so yeah...
Igraine's death was caused thanks to Merlin, on Uther's command, infusing the essence of the dragon into Igraine's child, causing her health to deteriorate, as her body used her lifespan as compensation to allow the fetus to grow.
Another small thing, Morgan is somehow the child of Igraine and Britain, despite Uther still being her parent. No it does not make sense, but it gives her a few privileges. For one, the Isle sees her as it's king, or ruler, as well as the carrier of its mysteries. Hence why it started raining when she became sad, as the island responded to her feelings.
Oh, and her Fairy eyes can see though lies, so yeah, she can tell when people lie.
Btw, I have made a Discord server for the fic, come on and chat with me!
https://discord.gg/T39uwmxJ
Now I'm tired, so have a nice day, and send me some stones or some shit, I need motivation, or some shit like that.