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ELECTUS - A tale of Peaceful Demons.

Auteur: MisterE05
Fantaisie
Actuel · 1.1M Affichage
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  • 4.5
    26 audimat
  • NO.200+
    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

Fire... beautiful isn't it? It can burn, destroy, breach, but what if it's superiorly charged? Bestowed upon a human being at a rate that's incomparable even against the toughest Fire Blasters of history? Young Eric has been blessed with such ability, he has been blessed with the title of an Electus! Which apart from Fire, brings 7 more powers, making him one of a kind. Perfect timing, as Demons from another dimension are flocking the sea and land, looking to shred the world, aiming to destroy all 13 continents. Yet there is hope! Black Fire, yes... that's the cure. It can dismantle portals, ultimately slowing down the invasions. But to generate such Fire it demands for Eric to reach a level that's seen as impossible, even for an Electus! He has to become a level 7 Fire Blaster! That's the only solution, that's the goal the Electus' group will chase. These "peaceful demons" have to be banished back to the satanic dimension they call home. Will Eric be able to do it though? This journey has been bestowed to him as if from the holy, although he's just a 15 year old boy! _______________________________________________________ Side note, spoiler! Eric is a sweet, loving boy by nature, hero by heart. And the main thing that will be building his character development are the Inner Demons that strike an Electus once unlocking a new power. These Inner Demons aim to change the young boy for the worst and can even make him go crazy just by altering how he comprehends reality. Join Eric's Journey towards mental peace as well as world peace. _______________________________________________________ Novel's discord server including maps and city budgets: https://discord.gg/35mTmwA

Étiquettes
8 étiquettes
Chapter 1Bouncing over the roads!

"Do not turn back. Run forward black wind, stop at nothing. Run as fast as you can! Our lives depend on you now boy." Woldemir shouted from the top of his lungs, encouraging his Horse to run faster.

You might be wondering who they are running from? A Natural enemy, and I'm being literal with that, Black Wolves! Standing about 50 meters in front of them with their teeth shining and lips foaming for a big large snack.

And of course without hesitation, Black Wind first blows air out of his nose, with flesh ripping fury visible behind his eyes, making him look like a true fearless beast. He went from being stopped at his spot to fast ground trembling speed.

The Wagon behind Woldemir shook harder upon every little bump through the muddy road penetrating the Forest, due to the intensively accelerating speeds there is little one wooden little thing can handle.

BlackWind, although a bit fearful towards Wolves since a wound on his hip is caused from one of them since he was a newborn, he did not fail to charge towards these Wolves in punishing speeds!

Fear isn't an option here, it is either run fast or die fast. So Woldemir continued with his encouragement, "Come on boy, faster faster!"

At this point, going faster is being ruled out as an option. The Wagon behind them is heavy since it is filled to the top with farm crops, that's what's weighing BlackWind down!

At such a situation, Woldemir can cut the Wagon off and hop on the horse right. For the sake of safety! Wolves won't eat Carrots after all, so why not cut the Wagon off and come back for it later?

Well he can't cut it off because the young 15 year old Eric is sitting over the cabbages, at the back of the Wagon. Cutting the Wagon off inevitably means cutting his son off, no one in their right mind would do that for the sake of safety!

Finally reaching the wicked wolves, ignoring how one was giving BlackWind a dead stare up until the point where they made contact, BlackWind the astonishing Horse with back fur, kicked one of them on the face which made it fly away on the side of the road with a few broken teeth as an aftermath.

A couple more wolves were taken Victim first from the 400 Kilogram heavy BlackWind and his steps on them, afterwards taken victim by the wheels of the small but heavy Wagon. At this rate, those victimized Wolves are lucky if they die quick now.

While another Wolf, who apparently was the leader of this little pack just skipped on the side of the road to avoid being crushed. The wisest decision although the most cowardly, unlikely for a leader to be scared of prey aye?

BlackWind ripped through the Wolves like a Fire Tornado through the forest, big accomplishment for a Horse found wounded in the wild as a new born right? Finally able to kill Wolves, it's a moment worth celebrating if they weren't gambling with death right now.

The battle worked for Woldemir's favour, but it's not over yet! Three wolves were taken victim, but five more are still standing, healthy and ready!

The Black Wolves charged after the Wagon, with their speeds astonishing! Although BlackWind got a head start, it wasn't enough to outrun them!

In less than a minute, they've already made their way close to the Wagon, one even tried to jump and climb on it but I guess as a Wolf it forgot that moving prey is hard to catch.

It's head just hit the Back of the Wagon and afterwards the Wolf fell straight to the ground, not killed or completely knocked out as a result, just dizzy. This makes it a bit funnier when you consider that the Wagon is only a meter and a half tall, it shouldn't have been that hard for a strong legged Wolf to jump over it!

Well at least now there is one Wolf less to worry about, at least for a little while. Now to handle the four others!

One of them started running close to the right side of the Wagon, and the other on the left side. The soul intend of the Wolves here is to catch up with the prey enough to pounce on it, and bite its neck until BlackWind is no more. If the Horse stops, the two other Humans become easy targets and therefore a big feast can be held.

Noticing the Wolves on the side, Woldemir pulled out his Dagger from the little bag he has close by, without even aiming he swung the Dagger against the Wolf on the left and nailed it through the animal's head!

It worked, the Wolf stopped it's momentum and started tumbling through the dirt road with a blood pool slowly following after. But as Woldemir thought the situation through a bit further, he murmured to himself. "Damn, why did I throw my Dagger?"

It was a stupid move, especially after considering all the loot he has on his Wagon, like throwable Cabbages. Turning around to get a cabbage became especially difficult considering how much the Wagon is jumping around thanks to the bumps.

But with a bit more effort he got one twice bigger than his small jawed Ignite Head, just in time as well because the Wolf on the right was already close to BlackWind's belly.

With all of his power and with a little bit more effort in accuracy this time, Woldemir hit the Wolf right on the gut with that 5 Kilogram heavy Cabbage which felt even heavier once tossed. Would you look at that, farming is paying off in more than one way!

That will likely not kill the Wolf, but it will be enough to slow it down. An endurance of a Wolf is surprisingly large, and it might take a Wagon full of Cabbages to completely fight them off since they can even take an axe to the spine without immediately dying.

Looking behind, he noticed that Eric is somehow sleeping through all of this. Crazy, but at the same time understandable since they have been travelling for 5 hours now trying to reach Crutal Town. Boredom is one of the biggest enemies at cases like this.

Behind his son, Woldemir could see that a Wolf has actually managed to latch on the back of the Wagon. Woldemir can see it's head and front paws only, in no time it can climb on to the Wagon and take Eric as a victim, as a snack.

He grabbed another cabbage, put in a little bit more effort to turn his body around for the sake of being able to toss better, and started aiming at the wolf!

"Stay away from my son you fancy dog!" Woldemir shouted from the top of his lungs, and tossed the Cabbage towards the wolf!

The cabbage hit the wicked wolf on the head, which forced it to tumble through the road with a broken neck actually! The cabbage was heavy and the gained momentum made it even heavier, at least he permanently doesn't have to worry about this particular wolf now!

He noticed that after he bested this third wolf, he didn't see any more of them for nearly a minute now. Could the Wolves have given up on this rewarding prey? Hard to tell, really hard to tell.

Thinking the situation through in the heat of speed, Woldemir murmured to himself once coming up with a conclusion. "Wait a minute..."

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Table des matières
Volume 1 :Fire
Volume 2 :Revolution
Volume 3 :Economical Triangle
Volume 4 :The Carved Path
Volume 5 :Mountain Ignites
Volume 6 :Golden Blood
Volume 7 :What's Underneath?
Volume 8 :Demonic Waves
Volume 9 :Boots of Kashentis

audimat

  • Tarif global
  • Qualité de l’écriture
  • Mise à jour de la stabilité
  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
Aimé
Nouveau
bibiyenini
bibiyeniniLv3

MisterE05
MisterE05Auteur

Author's honest review! This novel, isn't the best. Each aspect of it demands work and be sure that I'm giving it my all to meet the requirements. The first volume for example, has undergone the most work and yet it needs more. Furthermore, the rest of the volumes carry different characteristics which shed light to proper world building, characters and problems that we can give the label of, different. The beginning can admittedly be a drag, but it gets better every chapter at a time, volume 4 breaks the normal with a plot that I am certain no one had ever used before. But now we can put a lot of value to volume 9, whom carries heavy scenes itself and a lot of experiments I have been making with plots. I'm putting everything gathered up through my 1 million word career as an author, to assure that volume 9 is my best one yet and rest assured that the 10th will be even better. Furthermore I'd like to state that this novel is the root of an entire franchise, the goal is to make 30 prequels out of it, which is a goal that isn't hard to tackle but requires one thing, time. As for repetitive content, you don't have to fear it. Be it on a preqeul or on this novel, the goal is something new for every volume. I'm concerned about your time and money as much as you are, after all, I don't want to rob anyone blind. So if you can look over the odd ends of this novel, you will be blessed with the opportunity of finding something new. Thank you for making it all the way down here, - MisterE05

XOMatsumaeohana
XOMatsumaeohanaLv15

Review Swap Valid For Chapter 30 Writing Quality: The writing quality for this actually isn't bad. There's still a lot that can be improved on, but it's readable and flows. Just a few suggestions. • Chapter 1: - Deep down --> remove the - • Chapter 3: all the remaining wolves were on fire (literally) --> I don't think you need the bracket 🤔 You could phrase it differently like -- "The remaining wolves were literally on fire." Make it part of the sentence rather than separate it. A few grammatical errors,---> h--how did you survive. I thought you would be dead by now" --->change to (")H-how did you survive, I thought you would be dead by now(.)" • Capital letters when you start a new sentence and use words like "I" should always be in capital. • Try to avoid using random brackets in your sentences. • When a character is shouting don't capitalize your letters. You can use actions to emphasis yelling like --> using words like shouted, exclaimed loudly etc. In chapter 4 you already used the word shouted so there's no need to capitalize the word what. • When you write a character "replies with" make sure you join the sentences together, eg, chapter 7- Mogranius replies with, "We are not sure.." (No need for space, just use a coma) With these grammatical errors you could easily use Grammarly or other writing programs to fix up your punctuation. One last thing, is this story written in past or present tense? It's hard to tell when you use a mixture of both tenses. Character Development:🤔🤔 I think the character development needs improving. The only one we get a solid introduction for is Eric the MC. The other characters just appear without much explanation (adding a small introduction for them could help). We do get some insight into Mogranius character but not the father of the MC. 🤔 He just appears. If you didn't write "father" I wouldn't know who this guy was. Story Development: There's a solid plotline, the author knows exactly what they are doing and there's no parts in the story that sound like filler content. Everything flows well. World Background: The world background is very well done. One of the stories strongest points. It's not packed into one chapter but explained gradually during different stages in the story. The opening provides a picture of the setting, the conditions the MC lives in and the world they live in. Overall; My first time reviewing this type of story, but it's very interesting. May keep it in my library 😊 The author can work on their grammar, characters more. But the story and world background are very stable, each chapter gets more and more interesting.

Evergreen_Autumn
Evergreen_AutumnLv2

I like how the novel starts off with a lot of action! As an English teacher, I have some advice if you don't mind me sharing though: I've noticed that you tend to switch back and forth between present-tense and past-tense very often. This can be distracting when trying to immerse yourself, and it can interrupt the flow when you're trying to form a mental image of what's happening. Likewise, the vast majority of published novels are written entirely in past-tense, as past-tense words have stronger undertones in the reader's mind when forming mental images. (The only exception to this past-tense restriction is dialogue.) You can see this from all of the top novels in the power rankings, such as 'My Vampire System' and 'Supreme Magus' - they're written entirely in past-tense, without switching back and forth between present-tense and past-tense, unless it's in dialogue. Very few novels are written in present-tense. To take some examples from the first chapter: "A couple more wolves were taken Victim..." (past-tense) "At this rate, those victimized wolves are lucky if they die quick now." (present-tense) "The battle worked for Woldemir's favour..." (past-tense) "...but it's not over yet!" (present-tense) "Three wolves were taken victim..." (past-tense) "...but five more are still standing..." (present-tense) "Looking behind, he noticed..." (past-tense) "...that Eric is somehow..." (present-tense) Also, I've noticed that you tend to capitalize nouns even though they aren't proper nouns. Like with "encouraging his Horse to run faster" and "A Natural enemy," or "The Wagon behind Woldemir." You don't need to capitalize nouns unless they are name or a part of a title. For me personally, I can't read past one or two chapters without stopping, as it's just too distracting. I do think that fixing these two issues would increase the number of new and dedicated readers, though it would take a lot of work to go through everything. That being said, the writing has a lot of potential, so I'm giving it a 5-star rating anyways.

SOUTIEN