webnovel
Daoist59SpNN
Daoist59SpNNLv14yr
2020-10-16 09:03

Author, you need to fix the writing quality. There are a lot of grammar errors which is painful to see. It's sad because the story is really good, I love Mogranius so far so please feature him more, fix the errors Author.

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
bibiyenini
bibiyeniniLv3

MisterE05
MisterE05Author

Author's honest review! This novel, isn't the best. Each aspect of it demands work and be sure that I'm giving it my all to meet the requirements. The first volume for example, has undergone the most work and yet it needs more. Furthermore, the rest of the volumes carry different characteristics which shed light to proper world building, characters and problems that we can give the label of, different. The beginning can admittedly be a drag, but it gets better every chapter at a time, volume 4 breaks the normal with a plot that I am certain no one had ever used before. But now we can put a lot of value to volume 9, whom carries heavy scenes itself and a lot of experiments I have been making with plots. I'm putting everything gathered up through my 1 million word career as an author, to assure that volume 9 is my best one yet and rest assured that the 10th will be even better. Furthermore I'd like to state that this novel is the root of an entire franchise, the goal is to make 30 prequels out of it, which is a goal that isn't hard to tackle but requires one thing, time. As for repetitive content, you don't have to fear it. Be it on a preqeul or on this novel, the goal is something new for every volume. I'm concerned about your time and money as much as you are, after all, I don't want to rob anyone blind. So if you can look over the odd ends of this novel, you will be blessed with the opportunity of finding something new. Thank you for making it all the way down here, - MisterE05

XOMatsumaeohana
XOMatsumaeohanaLv15

Review Swap Valid For Chapter 30 Writing Quality: The writing quality for this actually isn't bad. There's still a lot that can be improved on, but it's readable and flows. Just a few suggestions. • Chapter 1: - Deep down --> remove the - • Chapter 3: all the remaining wolves were on fire (literally) --> I don't think you need the bracket 🤔 You could phrase it differently like -- "The remaining wolves were literally on fire." Make it part of the sentence rather than separate it. A few grammatical errors,---> h--how did you survive. I thought you would be dead by now" --->change to (")H-how did you survive, I thought you would be dead by now(.)" • Capital letters when you start a new sentence and use words like "I" should always be in capital. • Try to avoid using random brackets in your sentences. • When a character is shouting don't capitalize your letters. You can use actions to emphasis yelling like --> using words like shouted, exclaimed loudly etc. In chapter 4 you already used the word shouted so there's no need to capitalize the word what. • When you write a character "replies with" make sure you join the sentences together, eg, chapter 7- Mogranius replies with, "We are not sure.." (No need for space, just use a coma) With these grammatical errors you could easily use Grammarly or other writing programs to fix up your punctuation. One last thing, is this story written in past or present tense? It's hard to tell when you use a mixture of both tenses. Character Development:🤔🤔 I think the character development needs improving. The only one we get a solid introduction for is Eric the MC. The other characters just appear without much explanation (adding a small introduction for them could help). We do get some insight into Mogranius character but not the father of the MC. 🤔 He just appears. If you didn't write "father" I wouldn't know who this guy was. Story Development: There's a solid plotline, the author knows exactly what they are doing and there's no parts in the story that sound like filler content. Everything flows well. World Background: The world background is very well done. One of the stories strongest points. It's not packed into one chapter but explained gradually during different stages in the story. The opening provides a picture of the setting, the conditions the MC lives in and the world they live in. Overall; My first time reviewing this type of story, but it's very interesting. May keep it in my library 😊 The author can work on their grammar, characters more. But the story and world background are very stable, each chapter gets more and more interesting.

bheigh
bheighLv5
Related Stories

Reincarnated With Three Unique Skills

"Congratulations on receiving the following Unique Skills:- –Appraisal (Basic) –Skill Absorption (Mythic) –Universal Synthesis (Ultimate)" _____________________________________ "Synthesis Skills— Swift Sword Strike + Fire Toad's Breath." "Ding!" "Congratulations! Your Skill Synthesis was successful." "Your skills evolved into: Azula Sword Strike.‌" "Synthesis Materials— Titanium Runic Sword + Wyvern Bones" "Congratulations! You Synthesis was successful. Your Sword has evolved into Skeletal Dragon Sword." ----- In a heart-wrenching tale of loneliness and despair, Ethan's life has been one of unending tragedy. Orphaned at a young age and tormented by a relentless terminal illness, he spent his final days confined to a cold, confined hospital room. As he takes his last breath, he awakened in a mysterious void, where Ethan is given the opportunity to choose three unique skills that will define his new existence. With millions of options but only three choices, he carefully selects his path, setting the stage for an extraordinary journey of Reincarnation. Reincarnated into a fantastical world filled with magical Skills, powerful beings, and untold dangers, Ethan must navigate his new life, wielding the skills he chose to survive and thrive in a realm where anything is possible. But the question remains: Will this second life bring him the happiness and purpose he was denied in his first, or will it lead him down an even darker path? Chapter release: 2 chs/day Guys, its my first time writing, and it might not suit everyone. I can only say sorry in advance. Thanks for reading!

Elias_Nightwalker · Fantasy
4.3
352 Chs

SSS Ranked Transmigration: Taming Beauties and The Beasts!

> MASS RELEASE 5 chapters! [Jan 12-19] [Ding! Congratulations to the host for obtaining the 9-Tailed Heavenly Demon Fox Bloodline.] The Celestial Fox Deity: "Little Ancestor, our geniuses are struggling to advance their bloodlines. Could you spare just a small drop of your diluted blood?" … Cain wakes up only to find himself transmigrated into a novel that he had read a few years before his death. In this new fantasy realm where the strong are respected and the weak are trampled, Cain awakens his “Unique SSS-Ranked Primordial Beast Master Talent” before an error happens and merged with “Extra’s Harem Gacha System” which can help him become stronger by having sex with powerful women, including those summoned from the system’s Summon Pool. [Ding! You have shared an intimate moment with the Goddess of Light] [Ding! You have received …% of her stats attributes] [Ding! You have increased her stats attributes by …%] After merging his talent with the system, he can also contract and evolve powerful beasts, instantly upgrading their ranks using Evolution Points. With the ability to convert money into Evolution Points, Cain decides to build his own force, amass wealth, and take full advantage of the system’s potential to rise above all. [Ding! Do you want to refine the Ice Dragon’s Evolution Pill?] [Ding! Do you want to refine the medicine liquid of God's rank?] [Ding! Do you want to refine the Godbreaker sword of the God’s rank?] … --------------------------------------------------------- [WebNovel Rising Star II Entry] ALL SUPPORT is appreciated. Don't hesitate to add it to your library and give Power Stones!!

Ash_Mira · Fantasy
4.7
114 Chs

I AM A MAGE BUT WITH MILF SYSTEM

****EXTREMELY SMUTTY **CAUTION: CONTAINS ELEMENT OF TABOO, Julian, the son of Duke Alden and the grandson of Grand Duke Augustus stood Infront of the crystalline ball that emanated mana. The crystal absorbed his mana and started glowing with purplish hue, with a sparks of lightning. "Yes, I have unlocked Lightning Affinity," Julian said, a spark of excitement lighting up his blue eyes. Suddenly, the ball began absorbing too much mana, Julian's eyes widened in horror as the energy swirled out of control, crackling with an intensity that was and terrifying. Just as he realized the danger, the ball erupted in a blinding flash, a shockwave of power surging outward. Julian wasn't hurt, but he felt a strange sensation as a dark mist swirled in front of him. Suddenly, he saw a strange entity, a shadowy figure, slip into his forehead. Then, Julian heard an unfamiliar sound echo in his head: “WELCOME TO THE MILF SYSTEM.” Connecting....Success Initializing.......Success “FUCK THE MILFS AND GET STRONGER, CONQUER THE MILFS, CONQUER THE WORLD.” , The voice said Curiosity piqued, Julian quickly asked, "Can you tell me more about the MILF SYSTEM?" The voice continued, "Sure, The MILF SYSTEM will help you reach unimaginable power as a mage. You will need to complete the tasks assigned to you and earn points." ********************* MILF SYSTEM - TASK POINTS CHART Handjob - 10 Points Blowjob - 20 Points Sex - 75 Points Creampie - 100 Points Threesome - 200 Points Spank - 15 Points Anal - 150 Points ********************* Julian grinned, excitement bubbling up inside him. “Well, if that’s what I should do to be stronger, I guess we don’t have any other choice,” he declared, determination shining in his blue eyes ************** [Huge Harem] [In Depth R-18] [Hardcore Fetishes] [Extreme Sex] [Gore] [Big Boobs] [MILF] [Best Girls] [Anal] [Threesome] [Foursome] [N-some] [Big ass] [Impregnation] Some smut scene may contain: [Spitting] [Slapping] [BDSM] [No NTR - No sharing - No mind control - No drugs or potions that influence the girls A lot of Netori and Stealing] Contains long and detailed smut.

author_210 · Fantasy
4.6
293 Chs