Ouch. It's been almost 4 months since I started Divine Path System. My view on the story and my own writing took quite a drastic turn if I say so myself.
This review is partially for self-reflection and partially to give the potential readers an intro as honestly as I can.
I'll address the things I think I have done well and not done well from my own opinion, readers' response and feedback on discord.
1. Writing Quality: 3 Stars. Average.
A. Prose:
Prose wise, I'm average (me being generous). There is no artistic or flowery prose.
I tend to write normal sentences. Use normal words. And I use short passages.
B. Scenes:
I try to provide the sensory details and paint a good picture of the scene. However, it took me a while to realize I'm not giving the scenes enough emotional depth.
There is also a difference between what I see in a scene and what you, the reader see. Because I know the scene and then write it, I can see the complete picture. It's my job to make sure you can imagine what I saw and felt—the visuals, the emotions and everything—I did not do justice to the scenes. At least not up to the mark.
C. Flow
Flow is when you read a chapter without any breaks. I had problems with flow. Adding a sentence or two at some places could've helped the flow and smoothened the reading experience.
I've noticed this only after a while. But even till then, the flow is not terrible.
It's okay. There won't be any inconvenience in reading the story.
2. Stability of Updates: 5 Stars. Excellent.
This is the one thing I can pat my chest and say. I never missed an update. I remember getting a vaccine shot and being sick for a day, yet stubbornly writing that one chapter.
Maybe it's the power of streaks? I don't wanna break my streak.
3. Story Development. 3 Stars. Average.
A. Plot:
Look, I like the story personally. No. I love it. It has some very good elements I want to write about.
But the excellent parts of the story are clouded by the sub par ones. If I could do a redo, I'd change the beginning quite a bit. Not that I don't like what's written, but it could've been better.
Some scenes, some decisions and some plot points—they bring down the story to 3 stars. Otherwise, I'd have given it 4 stars and I'm sure the overall story would be much better.
B. Tension
This is something I struggled with and got an idea only after writing almost a hundred chapters.
In the early chapters, tension stays high for long periods of time. It can be frustrating sometimes.
I've worked on it and I hope to hear your experience.
4. Character Design: 2 Star. Below Average.
A. Varian:
Writing Varian gets a 3.5 star from me. He is his own person. He does everything because he wants to.
Accepting the System's existence, chasing after an illusory but increasingly important girl, facing the unfairness yet not giving up—it's all his decisions. It's who he is.
But I wish I could've written him better. At least in the early chapters, I should've shown his proactiveness more.
While Varian as a character is 4 star, it's my writing that drags him down to 3 stars and I settled with 3.5
B. Main Characters: 3 Stars
Enigma, Sia, Sarah, Kyle, Maya, Evander, Haedon for now.
I should've written more depth and added nuance to them. I need to work on the dialogues and how they express themselves—How we talk reveals a lot about who we are.
All characters have their own agencies—they have specific reasons for taking the decisions they take.
But...I could've made them more real? It's a bit hard to express, but I guess that's it for now.
C. Side Characters. 2 Stars.
I don't think I should go all in on backstory and deep characterization for every single character.
But I could've given them more characterization. More depth.
5. World Background: 2 Stars.
I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, the world of DPS covers a lot.
On the other hand, I could've explored the Solar System and the special locations.
How the world exists, operates and how day-to-day life in the federation is.
Same goes for the eight Abysses.
Well, not like it's the end. I will be exploring the world in the near future.
There's also description of the world. My skills were a bit lacking at that time, but indeed, I should've described the world vividly—the worlds, the buildings, the locations and everything.
Conclusion:
The beginning can be a bit hard. But if you like the concept and look forward to what's going to happen, it gets better.
I am learning from my mistakes and I hope I improve.
Please tell me what you've loved and hated about the story. Be brutally honest. I can take it. You'll be doing me a big favor by being upfront about it.
Thank you for reading.
PS: Read the story and decide for yourself. This review is my own opinion. You might, to my own delight, love the story and claim it as your favorite. (haha)
No rating, no review can tell for certain if you'll enjoy the story you are about to read.
The only way to know for certain is to read and find out.
