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Clean - up Crew

It's no lie to say that Harry Potter had a terrible childhood. He didn't have enough to eat; he didn't get enough sleep, and he sure as hell didn't have many personal possessions. Many things came out of his childhood. He was cold; he was quiet. But he also despised things that weren't clean. He just couldn't deal with them. Now going to Hogwarts where cleanliness is not the castle's most immediate concern... is a whole new challenge for him to face. All rights to the Harry Potter universe are reserved to JK Rowling.

A_Stupid_Demon · Fantaisie
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11 Chs

Chapter 6 - Preparation

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August 21st 1991

Location: Black Manor

Magic is stupid.

Wizards are stupid.

How does this odd craft even work? You just wave your wand and suddenly you can turn a bed into a table! Studying magic is even more nonsensical. What with a simple charm defying the laws of gravity!

Each and every subject has its stupid parts.

Charms really have no real baseline. What makes something a charm and not a curse? How do these 'simple' acts somehow defy everything about science?

There has to be some reason behind it! Some logic! Not just moving your wand in a particular manner makes someone's head blow off! Why does it make someone's head blow off?! WHY?!

Then there's Transfiguration! "It's impossible to make good food out of nothing," THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NOTHING! Molecules, atoms, elements, there's always something! Why can't you use atoms to make food, huh? That's what food is made of! Not to mention the other inconsistencies.

Then there are Potions. How do those things even work? Moon cycles, cauldrons, the environment, even if you're wearing the wrong colored socks that morning could affect the potion! Wouldn't you need extensive planning to even get the most basic of potions to work?!

Not to mention all the OTHER wizarding subjects there are to learn. To Hadrian this was unnerving. It made his skin crawl. The inconsistencies, the missing areas, it was like hearing nails on a chalkboard.

"Sir, sir!" Kreacher croaked, bringing the young boy back to reality.

"Yes?" Hadrian replied, blinking slowly.

"You must eat, you haven't eaten anything in three days!" the house elf exclaimed.

"Oh, I suppose I should get an apple then shouldn't I?"

Kreacher watched terrified as Hadrian just went to the kitchen and ate a fruit, then sat back down to his research.

"Are you not hungry sir?" He whispered in horror.

"No, I'm rather full actually," Hadrian replied, finishing his apple, and going back to his book.

After a few minutes of reading Hadrian groaned in dismay and rubbed his templates. "Why won't this make any sense?" He muttered.

"Sir is having trouble?" Kreacher asked, awakening from his stupor.

"It's just this magic! It makes no sense. It just disregards the rule of science that has been aiding muggles for years! It's the rule of the world!"

Although disgusted by the mention of muggles Kreacher thought about what Hadrian said, and carefully replied. "The regular world and the filthy muggle world although interconnected are rather different. If Sir wishes to understand the regular world Sir must put the muggle nonsense aside."

"That...makes sense, thank you Kreacher," said Hadrian, his lips doing what seemed to be an attempt at smiling.

Kreacher just stood there for a moment then popped away, leaving Hadrian to his learning.

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August 24th, 1991 7:09 Pm

Location: White Wyvern Pub

Hadrian is good at many things. Human interaction is not one of them. Yet here he was sitting beside some talkative old bloke. He was going on and on about how busy he was with work and how none of the kids he was teaching were 'working hard enough.'

Hadrian, at the time, was in his dirty blond hair disguise which he used a few days ago when leaving the Leaky Cauldron. He would even be there if it weren't for the attack that happened minutes after he'd left.

How unlucky.

"I just wish they'd put in some effort! They're always just using their wands, and use magic to make physical activity a breeze!" the man yelled loudly, obviously drunk.

"Well what type of exercise do you give them?" asked Hadrian, finally talking to the man.

"We just run laps and lift objects, but they always cheat!" the man cried, chugging down another beer and ordering another.

"Just make them do pushups, sit-ups, crunches, burpees, etc," Hadrian commented, replacing the man's beer with water. It wasn't like he'd notice.

"Do what?" the man replied, turning away from the 'beer' to look at Hadrian.

"Muggle techniques used to tort- *cough* 'train' children. I can give you some papers explaining how they work. Your kids will be crying in pain in 30 minutes top." Hadrian replied, discreetly sending a cleaning charm on the man's clothes.

The best charm he'd ever learned.

The man's eyes lit up in excitement as Hadrian wrote down clear instructions on how to do the exercise.

Quickly after he wrote it down, Hadrian disappeared, out to find some wizard cleaning supplies and a quick way to make labels.

Soon enough Hadrian would realize that the Wizarding World does not have gym teachers or anything regarding physical health.

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August 24th, 1991 12:09 Am

Location: Auror Training Centre B

"FASTER!" The old man yelled into the building, his eye twinking in amusement as the only response he got back were groans. Several people were lying down on the floor panting like dogs.

He held the paper Hadrian gave him like a gift from Merlin himself. The man was Rufus Scrimgeour, an Auror.

"Please sir, just a little break." cried out an Auror, with her face looking incredibly pale.

"Nonsense, you're an auror! Another round!"

Groans and cries erupted from the Aurors, as they all decided that whoever make that list would die.

Somewhere else in the world, as Hadrian was putting labels on just about everything he came across, he sneezed.