Chapter 9

2 Hours Later

—

Zeke woke up, feeling fully rested and content. He never knew how much he needed it until he laid his head to rest. The blond briskly walked downstairs after he refreshed himself. He saw Justin placing the food on the counter and him reaching for the wine bottle. He started to refer back to the old days where they both enjoyed dinner as if they had all the time in the world.

"I-it looks good." He spoke softly, startling Justin a bit.

—

Justin quickly looked up at his bride, giving him a light shock that he was up before he had a chance to wake him up. He loved this, cooking, smiling at the man. He missed it all.

"I was just about to wake you up, but I see there is no need now. Come, come sit. Doesn't this remind you of old times? When it was us at the restaurant and us cooking for each other?"

Justin sighed. He pulled out a chair for the blond as he sat down in it. Then pour two glasses of wine and took his seat right next to him.

—

Zeke gave a slight smile at the man. He started to eat his food before he spoke. "Yeah, it does…" He softly said. He went quiet. He missed how things used to be between him and Justin. They were so perfect before he went behind their marriage and screwed it all up. The memories almost haunt him.

"I miss it, Justin… Us. Us before I went on and fucked it all up. I know you said to forget it all but I can't. I can't stop thinking… I know we came up with a solution but what if I lapsed again or you catch me and mistake it for cheating? What then? Will you leave? Or will you go back to keeping me locked away? I just… I just want to know these answers."

—

All Justin can do was continue to eat his food and think. He arched his brow as Zeke started asking questions. He set his fork down and pushed his food aside.

"It won't happen. I won't let you leave without my permission. Even if you do leave, I have my people watching you. And if they see you with another man aside from myself touching you, they will step in and take you back here. Now… Stop thinking about it. I don't want to think about it.

—

Zeke looked away then nodded his head in silence. He hadn't meant to upset Justin. He just wanted a few answers.

"Right... I'm sorry I just was curious that's all. I meant nothing by it, love... I won't go anywhere I promise. "

Zeke pushed his food around on his plate. He had lost his appetite and sat back in his seat with a heavy sigh.

"If you're done I'll clean up..."

—

Justin shook his head, rising from his seat taking his plate and Zeke's too. He wanted to forget about it, he didn't want to bring up his anger again. It was so hard trying to do so when Zeke at every chance he had kept bring it up.

"It's fine… Just go shower and clean up. We are going for a walk in a few." He said. Hopefully a walk will help them both clear their minds and actually forget about it and admire the weather.

—

The blond slipped out of the room quietly and back upstairs. He took a quick shower and dressed in warm clothes for outside. The blond lingered in the bedroom for a moment, pacing back and forth, before he finally went downstairs and into the kitchen.

"I really could have cleaned up you know... I want to do something normal again..." He said with a sigh and took a seat at the table yet again.

—

Justin just finished washing all the glassware and pots. He was just putting them up in the cabinet. He also used that time Zeke was in the shower to take a shower of his own in one of the spare bathrooms and dress for the warm weather outside. He was in the kitchen scrolling through mindlessly in his phone until Zeke showed up.

"Nothing will be the same with me… I will spoil you until you don't want anything or anyone else. So get used to not normal." He said before looking up at the blond.

—

"Justin you don't need to do that..." Zeke sighed and shook his head. "You don't need to spoil me to win me over. I messed up... But that doesn't mean I've stopped loving you Justin. You're being too kind to me for this..."

Zeke looked at Justin then at the floor. He did love his husband more than anything. He strayed away because he was weak and he knew that. And he felt guilty for hurting the man he loved the most.

—

The man brushed it off as if Zeke had said nothing. He grabbed his keys and opened the door for the blond. Ushering him out of the house and closing the door behind him.

"Come on, let's go. I don't want to talk about it… Not here at least" Hoping to leave the topic behind to actually enjoy the day as he planned on doing. Justin started to walk, a little faster than he normally would with Zeke but he was also guiding him to follow.

—

The blond felt his shoulders slump. He slowly walked out following behind Justin but not by his side. He felt like he shouldn't follow him.

"Why?" Zeke said suddenly once he was outside. He stopped at the step and refused to go any further.

"Why won't you talk with me about any of this? I understand you want to forget it all and I want to forget what I've done to us too but I can't! Justin, I can't because I don't want to forget what we had before and you do. You want to erase it all. So have you or have you not forgiven me?"

—

That got the man to stop walking, taking a few deep breaths to help him remember his purpose of the walk. He looked over his shoulders at Zeke.

"I don't know if I can forgive you quite yet. I'm… I am trying to Zeke but I don't know! I'm trying so hard to forget everything you did. Yet you insist on keep bringing it back up. How do you expect me to forgive you". He said as he slowly faced Zeke. He wasn't there to forgive him yet, his anger never boiled like this, not the first seven times Zeke cheated. He never lashed out, why was it so hard to compose it all now?

—

"Justin we can't just sweep this under the rug. It's not healthy. At some point, you'll have face it. I'll have to as well."

Zeke approached Justin and stopped just inches in front if him. He reached out to take his hand in his. Once he did he gave a light squeeze before continuing.

"I bring it back up because I want to talk about it. To resolve this mess I made... I just... I just want to make you happy again..."

—

The man took his hands from Zeke's clasp and sighed. He felt bad for doing it so he pulled him closer and gave him a light peck on the lips.

"I don't want to resolve our problem like this. Even though we have been through a lot, I don't want to talk about this… Not yet."

Justin was feeling it, it was like the inner monster of anger want to come out of its' cage. Everything was hanging by a thread and Zeke kept pushing. Making the thread become weaker.

—

Zeke looked away. He wouldn't force Justin to talk about it but he couldn't ignore it forever. He stepped back.

"Let me ask you this then... What am I in your eyes right now? Your bride? Or a whore you feel the need to make your own? And don't you dare tell me what you think I'll want to hear! I want the truth, Justin... This tension is killing me or that what you want? Your sweet revenge for your whore of a bride? If that's what you desire so badly then just get it over with. Go on. Hurt me. Maybe I'll feel something besides this guilt if you do."

This was not what he wanted. This wasn't how he intended things to go. Nor what he intended to say. Zeke ended up snapping once again.

—

Justin narrowed his eyes at him. He stepped closer to him and stopped a foot away. Justin's thread to the cage had snapped.

"Right now?! I see someone who is desperately trying to piss me off when I said let it go. The more you bring it up the more I get annoyed. If you just stop talking about it then we wouldn't be having this conversation… Right now! I see my bride whoring around with others when I tried to come home! Right now I see someone I tried to love but never could because his legs were opening for everyone else." He said angrily. Once Justin realized what he said he growled and started to resume his walk. Hoping he didn't screw it up more.

—

Zeke huffed and stormed after Justin. He probably should have stayed put and met Justin blow off steam. But he didn't, which made him wonder if Justin's words were right. Was he itching for a fight?

"How come when I want to fix the problem it's always convenient that I'm itching to piss you off?" Zeke hissed reached out to grab Justin and stop him.

"We aren't done here, Justin. I'm not done. We are still married. I am still your bride and as your bride I demand we talk this out! You're being a coward. You're running away from the issue! How come when I want to talk about something you dismiss me like it's nothing? I tried bringing up my confession a million times before and you know where it leads? Here. Right now! We're arguing in the middle of the fucking forest because you refuse to say even a word about what happened. I think I would rather be back upstairs in that bed. You were more honest with yourself that way than you are now!" The blond snapped.

—

The man yanked his arms from Zeke's grasp. "I don't want to fix it because the more I think, the more I want to hurt you and do indescribable things to you! I'm a coward for trying to protect your precious body from my vicious ways of thinking. If I took you back to the bedroom trust me you won't be walking and you will not be able to move or even talk!" He growled.

He turned his back to his bride. "I am trying my best, not to be that person you desperately hate because of what I can do to you."

—

Zeke grit his teeth in order not to say anything rash. But, that didn't always work. Out of anger, he threw the first punch against his back. It was very strong and the blond had done so on purpose. Rather than his him with his knuckles and he turned his hand to the side and punched him almost like he was pounding at a table with the side of his hand.

"What if I need to talk about it?" He said and threw another punch of the same kind. "I have no one but you, Justin! No one! I don't have my phone. I won't use the computer because I promised you I wouldn't! I would rather be in that bedroom! It's better than this guilt eating me alive! At least then I could feel something other than this pain in my chest for hurting you. For loving you as I do!" Zeke delivered several more strikes to his back in anger.

"You have no idea how much I regret this all, do you? You won't even listen to me. Ignoring me isn't forgiveness. That's brushing it under the rug and leaving it to rot away at our marriage! I don't want that! And you might as well take away my voice because I won't let you forget any of this. I'm trying to fix it and you're rejecting me!" Zeke cried.

—

Justin turned around, grabbing Zeke's hand and glaring at him.

"Stop hitting me you brat! I rather we do not talk about it because it's going to put thoughts in my head of harming you and what will I say to your parents then!? Huh! I harmed your son because he had sex with other people while I was on business? If this is too stressful for you I can have my lawyer bring working papers that he insisted on the first time I caught you cheating! He always said it was better to have them prepare because you're sneaky! I didn't listen to him because I loved you and it was probably your need that first put you there…" He said leading them both back to the house.

"For the love of God… If you didn't want me because I couldn't satisfy your need then you simply could have said so! If you wanted me to reject you I would done that from the start!"

—

Zeke went silent, eerily silent. Justin didn't know about his parents. The whole truth at least. They only made an appearance at the wedding for their social status and that's it. When they reached the house he stopped at the bottom steps ripping his hand away from his husband. He didn't want a divorce.

"My parents wouldn't care even if I was dead Justin... My mother and stepfather don't give a damn about their son. Do you know why they were at our wedding? For their social status. My parents hate me. I'm no one, Justin. Even if I went missing there's no one who would come find me. " He lingered outside as long as he could until he had but no other choice to walk back inside that house. He walked up to Justin and just stood there.

"I told you my reason for sleeping around. I was lonely while you were away. And that was it. I was always happy when you returned home! If I wasn't such a coward to tell you how I felt when you were gone this wouldn't have happened. I should have known better but when you spend half your life as a whore you think differently! Especially when the man you love the most goes away for weeks at a time you start to feel lonely. And I did the only thing I knew to fill that empty feeling."

The blond went stiff. He let his secret slip And he regretted it instantly. It wouldn't help his case. Justin was already angry enough as is. "Justin I... I can explain."

They fell off his tongue heavy and full of sorrow. How could he explain this? He was a prostitute and he never mentioned it even once to Justin until now. Zeke looked away and held his arm bracing himself for another onslaught of Justin's anger. Or perhaps the words he never wanted to hear in their marriage. The thought of it made him want to cry.