A Visitor

"DE-"

Kachan tries to attack me the moment he walks in the door, which I suppose I should have expected given we hadn't seen each other after he knocked himself out during the exercise. Honestly, I didn't see anyone after falling asleep inside Dark Shadow's… arms? Coil? Body? That one has slightly sexual connotations attached to it, but it's also the closest descriptor that fits.

Anyways, I fell asleep while buried in the depths of darkness, and woke up inside the classroom. What happened between now and then? No idea. There seems to be some conflict within the female dynamic of students, though. At least if the tense atmosphere and occasional narrowed eyes are anything to go by. Tokoyami is also putting out maximum awkward energy, probably due to the fact that his daughter impulsively slept with a villain.

Let's put myself in his shoes… Oh, wow. I didn't even get to see who it was before they were an unrecognizable pile of viscera. Eri shall remain pure forever!

Good thing he's more embarrassed than angry! But wouldn't it be considered a case of bad parenting for him not to get upset? Or is it a case of him being pro-equality, and he's proud of Dark Shadow like he would be proud of his son in the same situation?

Hmm… Oh wait, I was paying attention to something.

Aizawa sighs. "Todoroki, why?"

The fire and frost user tilts her head at the absurd question. "Keeping him frozen all day will be easier than constantly trying to stop him from attacking Izuku."

"Heroes do things the right way, not the easy way."

Her head tilts the other way. "Isn't the right way and the easy way the same here, though?"

"...Go to the principal's office. Take Bakugou with you."

She blinks at him before letting out a long suffering sigh. "Ok." She puts her hands on the ice, but frowns when she sees the cracks in it. She refreezes it before turning to look at me. I shoot her a smile and a thumbs up, causing her to blush and smile. "Worth it."

After she leaves with the world's angriest ice sculpture, Aizawa starts the class. "Don't forget that I need your decisions on who you plan to intern with by the end of the day tomorrow. You have self study right now, so make use of this time to come to a decision. I'm going to take a nap."

I stare as he pulls out a sleeping bag and does indeed go to sleep. I continue to stare for another minute before turning back to stare at the students to see how they react. I thought that yesterday was an exception, but they're acting like this is completely normal…

I tap Lady Kermit's desk to get her attention, then point to the caterpillar man snoozing away. "This happen a lot around here?"

Her shoulders move slightly up and down in a small shrug accompanied by her head dipping slightly in the smallest nod. "You get used to it."

I frown. "How is he a teacher?" Getting another shrug, I sigh before perking up. "Oh well. Who are you planning to intern with?"

She stares at me unblinkingly, so I accept her challenge and refuse to blink first. I'm not sure how long we stay like that, but at some point we gathered an audience.

"You got this, Tsu!"

"Don't back down! Male supremacy!"

"Dude."

"That came out wrong…"

"Staring contests are manly!"

No one can tell who will win, who will walk away from this legendary battle of optical combat alive. But is it victory that both sides wish to achieve? Or simply the thrill of the fight? The world may never know, but one thing is for certain: this contest of wills shall go down in history as-"

"SNEAK ATTACK!"

I react on instinct to the sudden shout. I shoot to my feet so fast that my chair goes flying, my arms shooting out above me to intercept the small form falling from the vent and wielding a knife. I catch them around the waist, but that still leaves their arms free to bring the knife down in a stab towards my eyes. Instead of allowing the attack to go through, I twist my arms until they're upside down. Then I let go with one hand and move it so I can keep spinning them, completing a full three hundred and sixty degree spin.

And I keep going.

Before they know it, my assailant is spinning like a helicopter blade, an analogy I build into by carefully raising them above my head while they spin. "Feel the power of the Usagi Whirl!"

My unrelenting assault forces my tiny assassin to squeal and beg for mercy! "Papa! Too fast! I'm…gonna…hurl!"

"Hurl, child! Hurl! Become my weapon of mass destruction! Muahahahaha-ow!"

I cry out in fake-pain when I feel someone chop the back of my head. "Bad rabbit. Put her down."

I pout at the frog even while I slow my arms. "Fiiine." The smoll attempted-killer is brought to a gentle stop in my arms before I carefully lower them to touch down on the ground where they stumble side-to-side unsteadily. "Hello, Little Unicorn. May I ask why you attempted to murderize my eyeballs unprovoked?"

The students stare at the silver haired child with their mouths hanging open while she shakes her head to try and clear her dizziness. After steadying herself, she looks up at me and plants her fists on her hips, one of them still holding a large knife. "It was provoked! You turned me into an owl!"

I nod while ignoring the peanut gallery's confusion. "Makes sense. So you were trying to cleanse the curse by destroying the source?" Her brows furrow as she tries to parse through unfamiliar words, so I simplify it. "If you kill me, you turn back into a unicorn?"

She brightens up and nods her head happily while pointing her knife at the ceiling. "That's right! Warrior Princess Owl shall return to being Warrior Princess Unicorn once you are dead!"

I let an arrogant smirk cross my face before launching into an evil laugh followed by a villain monologue with my arms held out to the side, fingers curled. "Muahahahaha! Foolish Warrior Princess! You can only return to your Unicorn-ness by defeating the source of your curse! And it is not I who you must face!"

Her eyes widen and she points the knife at me with burning fury. "Who must I kill!?"

"The source of your curse is… your vegetables! The only way to turn back into a unicorn is to consume all that is placed upon your plate!"

The knife falls from suddenly numb fingers as she stares at me in horror. "No… no! You're lying!"

I hold the back of my hand to my mouth while giving a noblewoman's laugh. "Hohohoho! I do not lie, Warrior Princess. Consuming your vegetables shall not only lead you to freedom, but also an increase in your power!"

Her head tilts to the side. "Huh?"

I crouch down and put my hands on my knees. "Eating your vegetables will make you grow up big and strong."

Her head tilts to the other side. "But isn't that what weapons are for??"

I raise a finger as I explain. "Yes, but eating your vegetables will make it so you can stab people harder and faster, which will make it easier to kill them."

She gets a thoughtful look on her face. "So if I eat my vegetables, I'll be able to kill you one day?"

I chuckle and reach out to ruffle her hair behind her horn. "That's right! But don't forget; you'll also have to keep up with your training. It's a process where you aren't allowed to skip any steps!"

She nods and clenches her fists in front of herself while her eyes shine with determination. "I understand. I'll grow up big and strong so that I can defeat you one day!"

I laugh. "Good, good! As a reward, I shall use my unfathomable power to return you to your natural state!" I reach out with the hand not patting her head and… boop the snoot! "You are now a unicorn once more!"

She beams at me before hopping in place from joy. "Yay! I'm a unicorn again!"

I chuckle at her exuberance, getting lost in the moment. But then I'm reminded that we aren't alone.

"Those steeped in the deepest darkness have the potential to blaze as the brightest light."

"Translation: That was kawaii as fuck yo."

I look over and see both Tokoyami and Dark Shadow looking at us with relaxed expressions and smiles on their faces. As are a few of the others, though a number of them have complicated or disturbed looks on their faces.

"I guess it was cute, you know, if you're into that sort of stuff." Jiro says nonchalantly with her head turned away and twirling one of her jacks, but I can see her shooting glances at us from the corner of her eye.

"Are we going to talk about the fact that a little girl dropped down from the ceiling and tried to stab the villain?" Sato asks with his hand raised. Kaminari shrugs.

"I mean, she didn't actually stab him, and they know each other, so it's probably fine?"

"But then that leads to the question of how she managed to get here," Yaoyorozu points out with furrowed brows and a contemplative frown.

"Who cares, she's adorable!" Ashido shouts with gleaming eyes, followed by Hagakure's excited movements.

"Yeah, yeah! Adorableness gets her a free pass to whatever she wants!"

Iida adjusts his glasses with a frown before raising his foot to take a step forward, reaching a hand towards her. "Regardless of this child's situation, the fact of the matter is that she should not be in such close proximity to a villain."

I glare at the idiot with enough hostility that he freezes, even before I flick my hand and point my knife at him. "I am more than happy to stab a bitch if you- ow!"

I blink the instinctive tears out of my eyes and look down at the girl in front of me. Or more accurately, the smoll frying pan in her smoll hands. She points it at me threateningly while those closest to her take a cautious step back. "No cursing! Mama says it's a core-up-ting in-flew-ents."

I chuckle and pick her up, planting her on my hip so that I can use one hand to straighten my broken nose. "Normally, yes, but Himi gave me a cursing allowance! I'm allowed to curse up to five times a week!"

Her eyes narrow at me suspiciously, and I'm surprised to see what looks like a spark come off of her horn. "What number was that?"

I look away and whistle innocently. A glance back at her shows that it's not working so I sigh in resignation. "I'm pretty sure it's number four, but I kind of lost count?"

She crosses her arms and pouts at me. "No more cursing this week! Mama's rules!"

I pout at her, and then the glasses wearing idiot decides to make a grab for her. The engines on his legs flare and he shoots forward with his arm outstretched to take her from me almost faster than I can react, stupid speed quirks. I do manage to twist so that he'll miss, but he's still going to end up crashing into us because he somehow thinks that 'speed' and 'classroom' go together. Thankfully, before that can happen Dark Shadow is in front of him with her arms extended.

"Back the caw off!" Iida crashes into the sentient quirk, who wraps her arms around him even as she's forced back, nearly crashing into us. She doesn't, but it's a close call. She lets out a sigh of relief and looks over her shoulder at us. "You two good?"

I smile at her and open my mouth to answer, but before I can Eri screams and her horn starts to glow. My eyes widen in shock, because this is the first time I've seen her quirk activate in the entire time she's been with the LoV. And the only thing I've managed to get her to say about it is that 'It made daddy disappear.' She refused to talk the rest of the day after telling me that.

So, with the knowledge that her quirk is dangerous and has managed to traumatize her, I do the only sensible thing I can think of.

"YEET THE GLOWING CHILD!" I shout as I twist and throw her towards the door, which is clear of any potential victims. But as if the universe itself has conspired to tell me and Eri to suffer, at the same moment, it opens.

Eri most likely lands on whoever it is that was coming in, and I have to cover my eyes from a sudden flare of light, accompanied by the voice of someone who should have been supervising my daughter's first school visit.

"You problem children couldn't go a single period without causing trouble?" Asks the clearly incompetent teacher, his eyes glowing and hair floating as he stares at the light, causing it to die down almost immediately.

And what's revealed is…