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BNHA: The Quirk System

In a world where only 0.1% of males have a quirk Midoriya Izuku isn't quirkless. On his 14th birthday he woke up to [The Quirk System Online] first time writing a fan-fic criticism is appreciated, don't argue with the harem status though, that's just happening regardless, but please point out errors in my writing they annoy me too.

thelastgamer313 · Anime et bandes dessinées
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13 Chs

System: Online!

In one universe the story would've begun like this: One day long ago in Quig Quig, China, a luminescent baby was born with a unique power. Then, as time passed, the similar phenomena happened all over the world, and soon the majority of the population had obtained superhuman powers—known as "Quirks". Due to that, people were able to pursue heroism as a profession. And a young boy would've met his favorite hero and began a quest to become the number one.

But this is not that story. Our tale begins differently: Long ago the first quirks appeared, but for an unexplainable reason most often only in women, to this day only 0.1% of the male population has a quirk and even at that, most of them are mundane everyday abilities. This is the story of Midoriya Izuku, my story of how I became the number one hero.

A clinic in Mustafu, Japan

Doctor: "Well Miss your son isn't quirkless, but that's about as much as we can say about what his actual quirk will be, but due to statistical trends it will most likely be a minor ability."

The doctor in question was speaking to Midoriya Inko, with a young four year old Izuku next to her practically vibrating in his seat at the prospect of having his own quirk

Inko: "But can't we have any more information than that? When I came in and got tested they could practically tell me exactly what my quirk could do before I even got it."

Doctor: "while normally you'd be correct" He points to a spot on the paper he is holding "your son's quirk structure is entirely new, I had to call in to the main branch to see if we could get more details, but it seems as if young Izuku has an entirely new quirk not based off of yours."

Inko nervously glanced at her son

Inko: "Well if you find out any more info please let me know"

Inko, grabbing Izuku's hand leading him back to their car she couldn't help but smile at his infectious happiness heading home

Little did they know how much trouble his dormant quirk would cause the world around them.

A park, Near Midoriya residence

Izuku: Why are you being so mean Kacchan? Your making him cry, If you don't stop, I-I'll stop you myself!

Izuku was standing in front of his former best friend Katsumi Bakugo who was bullying another child before Izuku stepped in

Katsumi: Can it you damn nerd!

Katsumi rushed Izuku, who could only put his arms up trying to block his face. As Katsumi reached him she pushed him back a step with an open palm explosion hitting his arms. Izuku could feel his arms burning but stood firm in front of the child he was protecting. This only served to infuriate Katsumi further as her and her lackeys proceeded to beat Izuku til he couldn't get up

Katsumi: comon guys that'll teach him.

Katsumi and her lackeys left leaving Izuku there staring at the sky wondering why his best friend became so mean.

Many years rolled by with no signs of his quirk appearing, he began to lose hope he would ever awaken it. Izuku picked up a habit of documenting quirks in his 'Hero Analysis for the Future' notebooks to distract himself.

Midoriya residence, Izuku's 14th Birthday.

Izuku was expecting this day to be like any other of his birthdays going out and eating with his mother having some cake and relaxing watching some movies till late in the night together. But Fate had other plans for him this day.

[The Quirk System: Online]

If there was anything Izuku was expecting to wake up to... It wasn't this, A floating screen rested in front of Izuku before it closed immediately after being replaced by a new one.

[Happy Birthday Host! Please proceed to Quirk creation screen

[CONTINUE] ]

The screen floated in front of Izuku with only a single confirmation button at the bottom. Still a bit out of it and confused Izuku pressed ok and Instantly passed back out.

Izuku's Mindscape

Izuku woke up in a seemingly infinite white void, looking around he was even more confused than before until a 3D interface popped into existence in front of him with a directions screen once more

[Tutorial Activated: Quirk Creation]

[filling out the information panel on the next screen will allow you to see the preview of the quirk and its used on the model in front of you]

Izuku looked up from the screen after reading the last part only to see a lifesize 3D model of himself in his school clothes. Looking back down he pressed continue on the panel and saw a screen that looked like a page straight out of his Analysis notebooks!

[Quirk:

Description:

[ACCEPT] [PREVIEW] ]

For the first time since waking up today Izuku realized what was going on.

Izuku 'THIS IS MY QUIRK!'

Izuku fell to the ground sobbing in happiness that he was not in-fact quirkless like he was beginning to believe after a moment of collecting himself he got back up and still had some questions

Izuku: 'But what does my quirk do, its asking me to "create a quirk" but does that mean the quirk I create here is the one I will get? And why did it say "First quirk" what does that mean, people can only have one quirk'

Izuku continued his thought train for a few more minutes mumbling possible reasons for the words displayed prior but couldn't come to a solid conclusion so he decided to leave that for later and focus on what is in front of him right now, the quirk creation screen

Izuku: 'Going with my first assumption that I will get the quirk I create here, I still can't believe this is happening, I need to create something good, What could I create that would aid me in becoming a hero the most, I need some way to aid people as well as being good in combat, a strengthening quirk could work, but I don't know the extent of the power of this "Quirk System" so going with an idea that relies on the power of the quirk itself is out. Hmm, a healing quirk could solve that as it doesnt need to be strong to be useful, but there's no combat potential with a healing quirk and as much as I love Recovery Girl being a support hero isn't my thing. I don't have my hero notebooks here so pulling ideas from those are out, endeavors quirk is really versatile and could be used in both offensive and defensive situations, but it's too universally destructive and hard to use in a rescue mission for fear of hurting civilians'

As Izuku continued to brainstorm Quirk Ideas he remembered a mythology lesson from school, The Phoenix and how it rises from the ashes of itself and becomes stronger from it, and he knew what quirk to create from there.

[Quirk: Rising of the Phoenix

Description: Flames produced from the users body, they can be used to torch objects or as thrust

propulsion, the flames can also be used to heal wounds when in contact with the user, flames ignite

over the wound and the wound will rapidly heal, much like how a phoenix rises from the ashes of

itself when it is injured or near death

[ACCEPT] [PREVIEW] ]

Izuku hit the preview button and the model of himself changed from standing in his school clothes to him in a blazing yellow and orange hero costume launching flames at villains, which then cut to him healing a civilian who had a cut across their stomach, his flames igniting and in a few seconds going out and the cut was gone then going back to the first scene. Looking back down the screen had changed and new information was added.

[Quirk: Rising of the Phoenix

Description: Flames produced from the users body, they can be used to torch objects or as thrust

propulsion, the flames can also be used to heal wounds when in contact with the user, flames ignite

over the wound and the wound will rapidly heal, much like how a phoenix rises from the ashes of

itself when it is injured or near death

Strengths: The flames are hot enough to melt most metals and the temperature can be controlled to

not kill the target, and the healing abilities are almost unparalleled, as the flames do not rely on the

body's natural healing factor like most healing quirks to function

Weaknesses: As the flames rely on the users energy, extended use can lead to exhaustion, and the

healing flames draw out an excessive amount of energy

[ACCEPT] [PREVIEW] ]

Izuku: 'It IS like one of my hero books, the analysis is like I wrote it after watching a pro use the quirk! But this is perfect! The mix between support and offensive is perfect'

For the first time in a number of years Izuku smiled truly not out of nervousness or as a mask, but truly smiled, with this he could become a hero! Just like he always wanted to.

Izuku pressed the accept button

Woot first chapter of my first story criticism always welcome and thanks for bothering to read my story :)

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