Miscalculated results

I was standing upfront of full body mirror and was checking over how I look. Today is a big day for me. Today is a first Yule ball, where I would be presented to our society. Today starts my journey into "adulthood".

I hate it.

How I wish I would be born as a man. Then I would have at least an illusion of the freedom. Freedom to choice what I do. Freedom to choice who I am. Who am I lying to? Until you are under yours "betters" no man or woman has a choice. Well at least man has more choices and I hate them for that. They have something that denied to me by birth happenstance.

Cygnus, and this days I avoid to call him Father even in my head, has a lot of hate to share with us. Since Cissa got born and Cygnus has been told that Druella (and I don't call her mother anymore) would not be able to give a birth to another child, my live started to turn to hell. Cygnus wanted to have a boy. Someone who would follow his legacy in black family and maybe would be next Head of Black family. His plan has been failed. He got three girls and , obviously, it was our fault for that. Cruciatus became most common curse in our household and I got it most. I had no choice in that matter. Not only I as a firstborn was most guilty to be not a boy, but I had to shield my sisters. One time to see how Cygnus curse Cissa at age of one year for crying to loud was to many to watch. So I shield her and got brutally hexed to the inch of the death.

My diving to the past and to the source of my hate and backbone of my strength has been interrupted by yellow glow from the mirror. To my shock, under the glow I saw a woman that reminded me of aunt Cassiopeia and I told many times that i look to much as aunty in her younger ages. This woman was worn out and definitely saw better days. Our eyes locked to each other and with a yellow flash, I blacked out…

——

It was like a dream, but a dream that so vivid…

I saw myself on Yule ball met a man of power. Cygnus was his fake proud persona that prized myself high and my potential as a bride. But I got caught in aura of power that emanated from the man. I caught myself thinking that I want that power, it can set me free.

This dream speeded up and slowed down at the same time. I felt like living it and watching it from the side. I felt like all choices that I made in a dream was sound and taken from me at the same time. I felt robbed from my freedom and I saw myself chasing it to no avail. Getting sold to LeStrange and got slaved by magical contract made me wish to die and so I seeded death and pain around. Death, tortures and Azkaban. Man of the power turned to the worst of all of the man. He ruined himself and everything around and I felt that my sanity snapped. Until I felt him die and got burn in power of ritual…

——

Cygnus was standing next to locked wards in Saint Mungo and half listen to explanations. Someone cursed his older child with unknown curse right before Yule ball started. All what they can say, is that her conciseness trapped somewhere and all visible effects are magic and body reactions to whatever she locked with.

"Mr Black, at this point we only can lock her with Magic suppression field here in Mungo. I highly recommend against move Ms Black anywhere. Irregular magic outburst and body seizures are very dangerous for herself and everyone around. We have means to keep it contained and keep her alive until we find a solution."

"You told me the same last time. It has been two month."

With last words, he turned around and left.

——

He did not come to St. Mungo in person anymore and ordered to send a owl only if there any changes. It took another month before he received owl. He was looking at mail and tried to guess if this is a report of her death or improvement.

Since Bellatrix succumbed to the curse right before beginning of the Yule ball, household became even more unbearable and empty. Andromeda returned back to Hogwarts and Druella with youngest girl moved to stay with his father, Lord Black. Orion sent his boys there as well. Until they find out who and why dare to attack them, youngest generation need to be hidden in Black Manor under most strict wards.

Lord Black denied Walbuga to move there with Druella. He had enough of her crazy erratic behaviour and ordered to stay away.

News from St.Mungo were positive against his worst expectations. Bellatrix somehow survived three month of intense influence of the curse and it has been gone. Right now they hold her in dreamless state and perform rehabilitation and restore magic, to remove all possible post effects. They expect to wake her up in one week. Hopefully she can provide any information how and who got her cursed.

——

I regained consciousness in a slow motion fashion, I found myself in clean and filled with green but light colour room. It took me some time to focus on two figures standing next to my bed and even more to focus on their words:

"Ms Black do you understand me?"

I tried to understand what should I say and got lost in slow motion jorney for the words.

"Ms Black, do you understand me?"

Ah yes, I need to answer that right? I focused on a man again, he looked old and green and …

"Ms Black, do you hear me? You can nod if you have a hard time to focus"

Oh, that's simpler! So I nod.

"Good! Good! You are in St. Mungo and you are safe. Ms Goodstock will take care about all your needs. Take it slow Ms Black and all will be fine. Do you understand?"

His speech was funny and slow motion one moment and speed up another. I did my best to focus on it and with each moment it was much easier to do so. I even managed to say:

"Yes"

And immediately got distracted by sound of my voice, it sounded somehow not right?

"Excellent! Do your best to keep focus as long as you can. It's most important for now. Ms Goodstock will look into your needs and I am going to inform your family that you are awake and getting better!"

With that man, healer?, left and woman? Moved closer a step and started to waive analysis matrix over me. I got distracted again, how do I know that? My memories were a jelly bowl that no matter how you poke it , it is just bouncing and jiggling and distracting.

"Ms Black, looks like you are recovering just fine. We need you to focus as much as possible on what we ask you to do. It is designed to help you regain cognitive functions and help your mind and body to recover."

It took me some time to clean jelly from my mind and body. First try to sit up almost finished on a floor and only steady hands of Ms. Goodstock prevented that. But my recovery was fast and I clearly saw a surprise look on my helper here. Mediwitch?

Anyway I managed to take a shower and change to more comfortable outfit, that I requested as soon as I felt a need to discard whatever they dressed me into.

I took my time under the water, to finally sort myself out. I started with body. It felt young and right and then wrong. I felt ancient and young at the same time, so I decided to go by look and inspected my body. It was young body, teenager but somehow it has all marks that I somehow remember? to receive in many battles and fights. My memories were still not so clean and full of strange feelings and half dead line of events. But yeah, I am young in body? Teenager? It was all so weird.

After that day processed with some food, some physical exercises and music? to listen?

And so days processed like that. I still was not able to clearly call for my memories. Only some half cuts and mixed up with strong feelings. They told me it's okay and I will get everything back eventually and I need to no worry and focus on my recovery.

——

"Mr Black. I assure you, for physical damage we did all what can be done. Self inflicted wounds that happened during first two month of this unknown curse, are qualified as Dark Magic damage. Such damage cannot be healed and scars or limbs damage is permanent. Luckily to Ms Black, she has only scars that more superficial than deep into body and internal organs were not damaged. We are more worried about mental damage that happen to Ms Black. Cognitive functions looks more like intact. She is capable of speech and can follow conversation and given instructions. There is no signs of any damage to that part of the mind function. But her memory and self identity has been affected most. She cannot recall who she is and what happen to her at all. She actually has all signs of traumatic amnesia (in simple terms memory lose) and no, we cannot treat it as a obliviation spell damage. And I highly recommend to avoid exposure to obliviate, legitimes and other mental or neurological spells. Her mental state is fragile and any new damage can prolong recovery or even be a result of permanent mental damage."

Cygnus left the office of the Head Wizard of the Curses and Malefics.

——