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Asura's Path In Douluo Dalu

Auteur: Lafafar
Anime et Bandes dessinées
Actuel · 2.7M Affichage
  • 52 Shc
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  • 4.8
    156 audimat
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Synopsis

A young man got his revenge but also a second chance at life to live a life free of burdens! I am new to writing and would love to hear everyone's advice/tips or wishes! Updates: 4 per week / 7 Max Disclaimer: I don't own the Novel/Manga Doulou Dalu aka. Soul Land. Its an amazing series so if you have the time now, you should read it! (I don't own the Cover either i just found it on the internet and thought it was kind of similiar to the MC i was trying to display but the MC is a bit more buffed and red eyes)

Étiquettes
7 étiquettes
Chapter 1Chapter 1 - Eye for an eye

" W...why are you doing this?!" A fat man screemed at a youth with tears in his eyes and looked like he wanted to attack him but he couldn't since both his arms were bent in strange way.

The youth sat on a chair while looking at the family of 3, the fat man, his wife and their son. there was no emotion on his face after having just killed the son of the couple.

He wiped the blood off his face and fist that covered him since he didn't just shoot the son, no, he beat him to death but not letting him die before breaking as much bones in his body as possible. The youth heard the fat man and turned to look at him with a scary smile on his face.

"16 years ago there was a plane crash and there was only 1 survivor, a kid at the age of 8! It was shot out of the air by Irak for no reason at all!" The youth clenched his fists and looked at the fat man wriggling on the ground.

"F*ckers like you that sell weapons to that country deserve to die alongside my whole family, don't worry. All of your little businesspartners are waiting for you! Hahaha!" The youth laughed with tears streaming down his face, not due to sadness because he knew he would die today since he was livestreaming all of this! In the last 16 years he came to know plenty of people that had loved ones stolen due to others greed.

He hired 30 World-Class hackers to take control of U-tube for a few hours, his family was well-off with over a worth of 20 Million USD but he never used much after his family's death so gave the money away to homeless people and charity while keeping 10 Million USD to pay the hackers.

"T..they are dead?! How?! The higher-ups sent people to protect us!" The fat man yelled in a hysteric voice while the woman next to him sobbed while looking at her meat-pulp son's body.

{FBI! YOU'RE CURRENTLY SURROUNDED! COME OUTSIDE WITH YOUR HANDS UP!}

Sirens were all around the huge villa with lasersights trying to find where the hostages were, the fat man and his wife finally saw ray of hope again and the fat man got his cocky attitude up and smirked,

"You heard that? You have no way out! You better give up and surrender haha!"

"Are you an idiot?" Laurens looked at the fat man and smirked.

"W...what?" The fat man came to a realization, this kid..... Was trying to die together with them?!

"It seems you realized, to late thou. You were the last one involved with that terrorist group, the rest died. They took my family so i took theirs, young, old, man or woman.... I didn't care, i killed them all" The youth had a relieved smile on his face

'Father, Mother, Sis, Little Sis.... I won't be able to join you since i won't be able to go to heaven with my hands died in innocent blood' Laurens would do the same thing again if he was send back in time and he didn't regret a single thing despite killing all the innocent family members of those bastards.

"We can talk about this! Please! I don't want to die" the fat man cried.

"Neither did my family but you sold those maniacs fire weapons! Thats why i not only went into the army to target that specific terrorist group i also went after you all after i slaughtered them all!"

Laurens gritted his teeth and grabbed into his pocket.

A small device came out and smiles at it, he turned to the fat man and said.

"An eye for an eye, God might not bother with you but i sure do!"

---------Outside The Compound----------

"Captain, do you think he will surrender?" An heavy armored officer said to the Captain.

"I don't know but we better stay outside a 200 meter range, he warned us before taking the family hostage that he placed bombs in the villa." the Captain said in serious voice

"Captain i think you might be ov...."

*BOOOEEM*

Before the officer could finish his sentence a huge mushroom of smoke appeared behind him.

This day would be remembered as Crimson-Day by the people but also known as Cleansing-Day.

------Meanwhile somewhere in the void-----

[Next---20 karma, decent, reincarnate in an ordinary family. Next---45 karma, a good natured human, reincarnate in a happy family with decent financial circumstances. Next--- Negative 90, Trash amongs trash, remove his soul from excistence] An old hunchbacked woman was sitting on a wooden chair while moving lights with the palms of her hand towards a large wheel.

[Oohh?..... This young man went from 150 Karma to -30 Karma to 9420 Karma?! 9420??? That maximum is 300 Karma!] The woman stared at the light as if reading it and her face changed mulitple times through the process and let out a gentle sigh.

[I'm sorry young one, you weren't supposed to go through such hardships with your karma]

The woman had a face full of hesitation before reading over the soul's information one last time.

[Murdered Xue, Yang, Zhang and Ping family that were trying to deal in nuclearbomb blueprints wich would result in the 3rd World War and contamine Earth and limit Earths Life Span to 50 years at Maximum untill there was no way for Humans to live on the planet called Earth, young man, because you spared me a lot of trouble and with your huge amount of karma i will give you a second chance at life!]

The woman bit her finger and let a drop of blood fall onto the soul before pulling the space apart and throw the light into a portal.

Laurens, who was aware of the woman talking but couldn't say a thing was startled but excited that he could finally live a life without huge burdens on his shoulders!

[Initiating System]

[8%...]

[19%.....]

[33%.....]

[56%.....]

[87%.....]

[100%.....]

[Welcome Host to the new world of Doulou Dalu, the Fusion System is ready to assist you!]

An emotionless voice sounded in Laurens his head and he opened his eyes just to get attacked by a blinding light....

"Doulou Dalu? Isn't that what 4-eyes was talking about last time? For once i wish i was a weeb...." Laurens thought with a bitter smile while finally adjusting to the light.

"This.... is amazing, the air is so fresh, tall trees, animals playing in the grass...UCHH" Laurens grabbed his head to endure the splitting headache.

"Chu Feng? Dying because of a 10 year old Spirit Beast..... Thats what you get for being overconfident, but why does my body have no injury's?" Laurens stood up and walked to the nearby creek to wash his face and let everything sink in

"Holy ****, despite being so young i'm already becoming handsome" Laurens looked at his white hair with blue eyes that looked like they were giving out light.

[Welcome Host! I'm the Fusion System]

Laurens or Chu Feng let out a shout and fell on his butt in the creek.

"Are you trying to kill me again huh?! I was about to go for round 2 with that old woman!" Laurens laughed a bit and sat up straight while looking at the line of text in front of him.

"So, what is the Fusion System?" Humans are curious beings and Chu Feng was not any different.

[The Fusion System was given by the Godess of Fortune with the functions:]

- Stats

- Spirit Ring Aging

- Shop

- Inventory (9 Item Slots)

[Stats: gives you an interface about your body's current condition]

[Spirit Ring Aging: gives you the ability to absorb Soul Rings into the system to make them into Spirit Ring Pallets, The Spirit Ring Pallets give a +1-10000 depending on the rarity of the absorbed Spirit Ring]

[Shop: gives you the ability to buy items from the store. (Note: Every Spirit Level you unlock new stuff)]

[Inventory (9 Item Slots): Gives the user a safe place to leave his most prized possesions]

"Interesting, Status?"

Just as Chu Feng said it an interface appeared infront of him,

[Status: Laurens (Chu Feng)]

• Condition : Healthy

• Soul Spirit: Asura's Blade (Unawakened), Asura's Blessing (Unawakened) (4 stages)

- Eyes Of Truth (Locked)

- Slaughter Aura (Locked)

- Space Lock (Locked)

- Mind Space (Locked)

• Soul Power: 1

• Spirit Rings: 0

• Spirit Ring Skills: -

• Skills: Asura's Wrath (9 Sword Strokes)

• Luck: 3 (Humans avg. luck is 1)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This looks like a video game! But altough i have a way to cultivate spirit energy i should wait untill i have awakened my Soul Spirit's at the test tomorrow" Laurens finally stepped out of the creek while walking back over the dirt road back to the village.

Altough its a village, thats according to this world's standard since you can compare it with small sized city on Earth.

"Chu Feng! Where have you been and why are you wet?" An old voice came shook Chu Feng out of his daze and finally noticed the Old Man with a 6 year old black haired kid at his side.

"Hello Grandpa, Tang San" Chu Feng greeted the two with a friendly smile since both of them were always friendly towards 'him', and they started talking about the awakening.

"Chu.... Chu Feng you want to cultivate?!" Tang San looked at him with an astonished expression, altough he himself was already Spirit Level 8 he was still shocked to see Chu Feng wanted to cultivate.

After all, Chu Feng was known to hate cultivating due to him being left in this village at the age of 3.

His mother promised to Chu Feng to come back in a few weeks since his mother went out to hunt Spirit Beasts for food and never came back, his father was a deadbeat that, according to his mom, put up a facade of being a gentleman and then acted like he never did anything with her.

Since Chu Feng had all the memories of even spreading her cheeks open and seeing his first light he knew what she said when she was either drunk or needed someone to vent to.

'System, did you give me that Spirit Power'

Chu Feng asked in puzzlement.

[Correct Host, To activate the system the Godess Of Fortune left a Spirit Point on the system that would automatically absorb when arriving in this body]

'I see.' Chu Feng nodded and then looked at the duo.

"Yes i did, i won't let them be in my way anymore"

"I see, if you need help then just say so and i will do everything in my power to help you" The old man smiled.

"Thank you Grandpa, you to Tang San. I will go home and get ready for tomorrow!" Chu Feng said and walked away.

"Good! See you tomorrow!" Grandpa and Tang San said at the same time.

after the little exchange i walked into a small hut of 6meters by 4 meters with some basic furniture and a bed. Due to his mom leaving out of nowhere and not leaving any money behind he had to sell everything in the house but he did so with no regret.

Altough the place was small it was tidy and clean, Chu Feng got out of his wet clothes and hang them up to dry and fell into his bed.

'So that was Tang San.... The Main Characer of Doulou Dalu, that 4-eyes told me the basic information about the manga so that will come up in handy'

Laurens put his hand up and stared at the ceiling and told himself while closing his eyes,

'Tomorrow will be the start of my training and my unfettered life!'

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audimat

  • Tarif global
  • Qualité de l’écriture
  • Mise à jour de la stabilité
  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
Aimé
Nouveau
LafafarAuteur

So its me, the Author here. It seems like a trend to rate your own Fan-Fic a 5 Star but tbh, i can't.... I really can't lol. My grammar is pretty good.... For someone who's first language isn't english but sometimes i will make simple mistakes that i could've easily done like it should be done, i'm trying to edit as much as mistakes as i see and if someone comments on a paragraph i will edit it when i see it! This is also why i rated my own Fan-Fic a 4-Star for Translation Quality I also rated myself a 4-Star for Stability Of Updates due to the fact that i won't push myself to write if i'm sick, tired or have another important thing too do that tires me out. The other three i gave myself a 5-Star cause: >Story Development: Might not be the best but i THINK i did a pretty good job. >Character Design: I used Original Characters from Douluo Dalu 99% of the time. Regarding the MC, he didn't change much after his reincarnation which i see a lot in Novels or Fan-Fics which confuses me lol. >World Background: Most of the places MC stays or visits are places from the Original Story except a certain place i created myself since it fit with the story and it might actually be the truth since it would make sense but i don't know, i THINK i did a good job xd. --------------------------------- THIS IS IMPORTANT!: I only read the manga regarding Douluo Dalu and things i find on the Wiki, sometimes i edit certain Beasts ages to fit better into the story. Another thing is that, like i said, this Fan-Fic is written solely on knowledge i get from the Manga and Wiki so if something differs from the Novel, please forgive me and spare my soul from your rage x3 <3

TempestasUmbraLv15

One of the few fanfics I find very enjoyable on this side. Most other fanfics are either not researched enough, so the author has no idea what he is talking about. Or the MC is just another side character following the original protagonist, or killing him and following canon. There is little creativity in most of these stories as most of the plot is just focused on getting any and all girls while becoming too strong even if it doesn‘t make sense, while you sre basically dying from all the ‚cringe‘ while reading it. Don‘t get me wrong, I love OP MC‘s and a good romance. But a forced plot and an abused plot armor are things I can‘t stand. Luckily, the author of this fanfiction is trying really hard to avoid this, and it shows! The story flows nicely without a forced feeling, while the MC is a risktaker while keeping within reasonable bounds. He knows when to take a leap of faith and when something is worth risking his live for. He acts with a maturity that fits his actual age, not the age of his new body, which I greatly appreciate! He is obviously very powerful, but he isn‘t conplacent and doesn‘t really care about showing off. He just wants strength to be free to live carefree and adenture into the world. He doesn‘t really care about the canon and just searches for his own path to strength. The romance is very good, even though lacks a little depth, but nothing really serious. It is the first time the author writes these scences and he does it fantastically considering this. There is no real rushed feelings as the author tries to make the interactions as smooth as possible, which succedes most of the time. No unreasonable changes in the bahaviours of the original characters, but a well-thought out development which results in slowly blossoming feelings. The MC isn‘t some s*x-starved virgin that just wants to vents his lust and has no idea what love really means. He shows expierience and maturity when dealing with the fairer gender, and does so in an appropiate way considering the situation(age, location, etc.). All in all, I hope this story will continue and I am looking forward to where this story goes. Especialls since the author shows a clear willingness to improve and handles constructive critisism wonderfully :) Thank you for the story you have written so far 🤗

Eldrich_AlhersLv4

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