Chapter Three

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Pagdating ko sa bahay ay dumiretso ako sa kwarto ko at nagpalit na ng pantulog para ready’ng ready na.

As usual, tahimik at nakakarelax ang bahay dahil sila Mommy, kuya, at Ate ay nasa kwarto na nila at may sari sarili nang mundo. Palagi naman ganito sa bahay. Tuwing uuwi ako ay nasa kanya-kanya silang kwarto at may sari-sariling ginagawa.

Iilang mga katulong lang namin sa bahay ang nag aasikaso at tumutulong sa akin tuwing uuwi ako. May problema kasi sa spine si mommy at busy pa sila kuya at ate sa pag aaral nila. Si daddy naman ay nagtatrabaho sa ibang bansa.

Nagbasa lang ako ng konti at inayos na ang higaan ko.

Since hindi din naman na ako nagugutom ay tinawag ko na si Dawn na alaga kong aso. Pinangalanan ko siyang Dawn dahil niregalo siya sa akin noong dawn noong kaarawan ko 3 years ago.

"Dawn~" tawag ko sa kanya at maya maya lang ay nakarinig na ako ng ingay ng takbo na nagmumula sa kanyang apat na paa na minsan ay nagiging lima dahil pinangtutungkod niya ang kanyang baba.

Umakyat na siya sa kama at humiga na sa usual niyang spot sa paanang bahagi ng kama ko at saka natulog.

Si Dawn ay isang Chinese Shar Pei na di mo malaman kung ilan talaga ang bilbil niya sa sobrang dami.

Nahiga na din ako at pinatay na ang ilaw ng kwarto ko.

Bago ako matulog ay inisip ko muna kung ano ang mangyayari bukas bukod sa kalokohang ng mga classmates ko.

Nang makarinig na ako ng hilik na nagmumula kay Dawn ay napapangiti nalang ako at ipinikit na ang mga magaganda kong mata at nagpadala sa agos ng kadiliman at nakatulog na ako.

"Bye!" I waved my goodbye to my sister Audrey and also to my brother Ross, and headed to my classroom.

As soon as I saw my few classmates playing something on the floor of our room, I suddenly smiled.

"Elle!" Zuri

"Hi Elle" Bace

"Morning Bonzai" Zane

"Good Morning guys, What are you guys up to?" I greeted them as I put my bag on my armchair.

"Come!, sit here with us" Jill's offer

Naka Circle form silang lahat at nakaupo sa lapag. Sila Kane, Bace, Duke, Daimon, Vincent, Blade, Zane, Jill, Feli, Zuri and Me pa lang ang nandito sa room dahil medyo maaga pa naman.

I did what she offered me and sat beside her.

And as soon as I am already sitting, Kane, Duke, Daimon, Bace, Blade and Vincent laid their hands for an up top (high five).

I rub my hands playfully to heat them up and one by one, I gave them an up top, which caused my hands to turn red because of the impact.

Suddenly the door of our classroom burst open and Casiuss together with Axel, Hank, Zayden, Ellis, Maxx, and Jett came in.

"Hahahaha Oo tas si Maxx kahapon" hagalpak ni Axel

"hahahahaha si Jett din eh, nagulat nalang kami may nag 'THUG' tas yun pala nagdive na yung dalawa ng walang pasabi" gatong naman ni Cass kay Axel

Nilapag na nila ang kani-kanilang bag sa sari-sariling upuan at nagkwentuhan ulit.

"Ano pa yung sasabihin mo dapat non, Den?" Cass asks, talking about Zayden

"Dapat sasabihin ko nun Chixx kaso nasabi ko Chicken haha" tawa naman ni Zayden and they all burst out Laughing.

Nagtataka lang ako habang pinapanood sina Cass na tawa ng tawa. Anong nakakatawa sa chicken?

Still confused about it, I suddenly remembered the times of the past. Cass and I had a past. I thought we liked each other but i was wrong, it was always just him. You can say that i'm a very complicated woman because i don't really know what i want in every relationship.

Anyways, I used to hear his laughs that I caused, and that thought was so adorable. How I missed those times that we're still tog--

"Huy!"

"Ay Together!"

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko nang magulat ako sa sigaw nayun ni Jill sa tenga ko. Oo, literal na sa tabi ng tenga ko!.

Tinignan ko siya ng masama at inirapan bago humarap ulit sa mga kasamahan ko't pinabayaan na lang yung mga hayop na tawa ng tawa

"Hahaha! Uyyyy~" asar sakin ni Jill

"Miss mo na ba Bonz?" asar naman sakin ni Fel.

Hindi ko pinansin ang dalawa at patuloy lang na iniisip ang nakaraan namin ni Cass.

Actually, not gonna lie but it was my fault na hindi kami nagtagal ni Cass. He’s a fine partner but not me. As I said earlier, i'm a very complicated woman. I was deprived of parents’ love and care and was raised by my grandparents.

I didn't have the chance to be open about everything or have that bestfriends relationship with one of my parents. There’s no “we” and “us” in our relationship but “me and my mom” or “me and my dad”.

My parents have all the valid reasons and I totally understand everything about it. It's not like their worlds are revolving around me. They have principles and priorities to set the family steady and right. I understand everything but there’s still this tiny pain somewhere in my chest whenever I think of how I didn't get the time and bond that my siblings have with our parents.

Anyways, these personal problems that I have with myself are the reason why I can't commit. I doubt and doubt all the things once I'm in a relationship. I didn't know how it works. I didn't know what to do, what to give, what to gain and what I want in this relationship. So in the end, scared with all the thoughts, I cut my connection with them and just feel sorry for the both of us.

Sorry for him, para sa pagpapaasa ko man sa kanya at sorry sa sarili ko dahil i look petty with these reasons.

When we broke it off, we talked it out and I told him all the things that have been bothering me, my thoughts and why I want to break it off. He was patient and understanding, and I'm thankful for him a lot.

I didn't know what to say at that time and i don't know how to start but he told me to throw out the words and he’ll understand them for me.

That was a very matured thing he did, I cried more thinking I would let go of this rare man. I was immature, until now, I'm not ready for these kinds of things and he understood.

“I will let you go for now. I want you to grow on your own, explore yourself and know yourself more and I will watch you do it all. You don't have to worry about me because I will always be by your number one fan” was all he said before walking me home.