Chapter 44 Sain (Sane or Insane)

I grasp her wrist from behind. She startles and looks at me collapsed on my knees.

I've climbed 9 floors that i cannot stand anymore. My heart is going to explode. I can't breathe.

I pull her inside. She falls and sits next to me. I wrap my arms around her head and embrace her.

"I'm sorry i dragged you into this."

I know that she's surprised.

"I knew that you were not my real mother. I've always known. I just wanted to believe that my mother came back to me. I waited for so long... Alone in that dark closet. She told me she'd return so I should behave myself and stay hidden. I hid. Even though i was hungry. Even though i was scared. I closed my eyes hoping that I'll see my mom again. But when i opened them it was the same as keeping them closed. It was so dark. I was so scared. Every night i wanted to die. But i was so terrified to even kill myself. It was lonely and cold. I'd hug my feet and only wished that I'd see my mother again before i died. I only wanted my mother by my side. Then you found me. When i was at the verge of my death you found me. I was so happy. I wanted to believe that you're my mother. I was so afraid of losing you again. I wanted to cherish you in my tiny treasure box. That's why i hated everyone who tried to take you away from me. They were all evil. There is nothing more cruel done to me than taking you away from me. I did everything i could do… only so you'd never leave me again. So that no one takes you away! I did everything for you!"

"Officer Xeno! The criminal and the patient."

"Should we go stop them?"

Xeno forbids them. "Its alright. Let them talk to each other."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry that you had to go through all these because of me. I'm so sorry that you even wanted to die because of me. I.. i always wanted to be your good son. But i guess I failed in it. After all i did… i couldn't keep you happy. I couldn't make you talk to me." I stand up and she raises her neck.

"I was a bit too selfish… Wanting to live happily with my mom. I didn't even notice i was hurting the one I adore."

I walk to the edge myself and shed a few drops of tears.

Xeno from the lower roof prohibits me. "Sain! Stop it! You said you won't do anything funny!"

He starts to climb up the ladder.

I turn around and softly glance at my mother. Handcuffs hang by my wrist and my shirt sways with the wind. "Say. Why'd you ever show me love if you had to hate me anyway. This change.. I get hurt too, you know." The cuffs jiggle as i place my hand on my chest.

I can see her widen eyes, her outstretched hand at me as I plunge off.

I hear the echo of my name aside from the howling noise of the wind rushing up my ears.

"Saaaaaiiinn!"

Mom finally called my name in the end. I'm so happy.

"Rosalyn! Ms Rosalyn!" Xeno stops her from jumping off as well. But she struggles to free herself.

"Sain! Sain! Sain!"

"Ms Rosalyn! Please calm down. Other officers have gone to check on him. We'll see if we can save him! Please.."

She turns around and grabs his arms. Her nails dig into his skin.

"Sain jumped from the 10th floor! There's no way you can save him! None of us can!"

She can talk normally!

"Its all my fault! I did this to him!" She scratches her own face and cries. "I showered him with love then suddenly started to ignore him! After all that he had been through… i did that to him! Why am i so pathetic! Why did i never talk to him! If only i did!" She drops on her knees. "Sain! Sain! My one lovely son! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry that I'm so pathetic! My Sain! After all that you've done for me!"

Xeno just stands there and does nothing. He has realised.

Sain gaslighted her till the very end. Even if she wasn't crazy before.. she might go crazy now.

He raises his head and looks up at the sky.

So many lives ruined. In the end I couldn't do anything.

"Saaaaiin!"

She shouts out the name of that soulless body crumbled on the ground.

"Sain Sinzer, sane or insane that he might've been… is now no more." Xeno passes the judgement without even bothering to inspect.