webnovel
HiddenMerchant
HiddenMerchantLv22mth
2024-09-09 12:38

This is my first time reviewing on story events idk, anyway. I like the story it has a huge potential. The only thing that it's lacking is character development and world building. I know it's a lil bit pressure writing something but take your time and don't rush no need to rush. I'm looking forward for this story hope you have a great day[img=recommend]

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies1
YoungCreator
YoungCreatorAuthor

Thank you

Other Reviews
THE_ARCHITECT
THE_ARCHITECTLv4

I am going to divide my rating into different sections and I am going to be transparent Writing quality Not many words but it's almost perfect, there are minor errors here and there but it's really good...as I said not many words Story development it is severely lacking in terms of exposure but it does have a lot of potential, the flow of the story makes the MC go with the flow as if he's not alive, i would like him to make choices of his own in the future Character Design As i said before the story is too fast, i want to know about the MC and his past life, the true objective of the system , the lives of the side characters...i want them to be alive Updating quality i simply wish there were more chapters the story is pretty good World building it is severely lacking at least for me, continents, rulers , destruction , Gods , ancestors , enemies e.t.c , The academy arc felt rushed to me because he could've developed mentally first but you do you Conclusion The story is not unique but it's not generic in any way, the MC slightly feels like an NPC since he doesn't have many monologues or internal thoughts and the side characters could've more exposure so i can connect with them The story has potential no... immense potential to grow, the author may be a newbie but she/he/they/them is/are doing very well just improve the flow and look it from a perspective of a reader, I am adding this to my collections and I am looking forward to your future works cause i can see that this is your learning curve...i am sorry if i was brutal or offensive

Related Stories