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Review Detail of Mikerules_1200 in Entwined Destinies: Demons & Dungeons

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Mikerules_1200
Mikerules_1200Lv14dMikerules_1200

Despite a few grammatical errors, I strongly believe the writing in this story is unmatched. It is incredibly creative, even though it contains numerous references to anime. Creativity can be defined in many ways, and personally, I believe references are perfectly fine. Some might consider them a gimmick, but back in school, we all had to use other works to enhance our own. I like the story and can see a lot of potential. The author is clearly dedicated, but the sporadic release schedule slightly diminishes its impact. Occasionally, the narrative lacks clarity or feels like a run-on chapter. However, the passion in the writing is evident. Clarity in certain situations, like in chapters 8-11, could be improved. I found the sudden character swapping and the shifts in perspective between past, present, and future a bit confusing at first. Additionally, the stat point multiplier issue, where 1.3 is mentioned but considered as 0.3, should be corrected to avoid confusion. Tracking HP during the fight between Dust and Dimoultion was extremely confusing. Please consider using sub-notes below to indicate the remaining health points or stop using raw numbers in favor of percentages. The world background development is also something I hope to see as the story progresses. Since we are only at chapter 14, it's hard to give a full review, but it isn't something that can be rated highly yet. At some point, we will need to delve deeper into the story's world. Characters are introduced in a unique way, but it can be hard to follow at times. It's also challenging to become attached to them, except for the main character, because we don't really know much about them. Even Dust remains largely vague. I will also be looking forward to seeing the classes get more fleshed out and the abilities explained as we go. I remind the author not to bite off more than they can chew. It seems they definitely have a lot to work with, but if that's so, I'd remind the author to take care of the things preventing consistent uploads so that they can get back to pumping chapters out. Overall, I enjoyed the read and am excited for future chapters. I strongly believe in the author's ability to continue producing great chapters with comical moments and depth in the dungeon explorations. I hope to see more dungeons and the demon clans explored further, perhaps with chapters on their eliminations and dungeon failures as well.

Entwined Destinies: Demons & Dungeons

HopOffMe

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HopOffMe
HopOffMeAutorHopOffMe

I love this review, that’s really all I can say. I don’t have time to write a paragraph or three so I’ll just address the issues. 1. The grammatical issues: I am human and can’t catch all of the issues that are there. I do check my work but there are times that I fail to find issues. If you see any issues then by all means leave a comment that points it out. 2. The HP Values: I was thinking of having it like this: [Damage Taken (Max HP)]. Aka [-100 (800)] So that you know how much HP is left instead of having to do math yourself. 3. Chapter 8-11 have many switches in time and place. This was due to me setting something up but I understand how that can get confusing. If I am going to go back in time then I’ll try and do it in a way that has a character explain it. It’ll be a POV switch but as a retelling from that character. 4. Dust as a character is kept vague until he truly reveals himself. I’ll explain his backstory in a certain… chapter. It’ll go more in-depth into his character and his feelings. 5. Upload schedule: It’s hard to say this due to the way I have to re-write certain parts but I’ll try and keep it to a chapter every 2-3 days at minimum. I just need to get back into my flow. This was done on my phone so please excuse the massive amount of grammar mistakes. I’ll try and explain the world more as we go along. It is only chapter 14 and the main character hasn’t even left the dungeon so please be patient and continue reading this story.