Set 224

The Honeymoon Advice

Being a virgin, Bob was very nervous about his upcoming wedding night, so he decided to seek the advice of his friend John, who was quite the local Romeo. "Just relax, Bob," counseled John. "After all, you grew up on a farm, just do like the dogs do."

Right after the honeymoon the bride stormed over to her mother's house in tears and announced that she wasn't going to live under the same roof as Bob for even one more night.

"He's totally disgusting!" she wailed.

At first Bob's bride resisted her mother's attempts to find out the exact nature of the problem, but finally broke down. "Ma, he doesn't know anything at all about how to be romantic, how to make love . . . He just keeps smelling my ass and pis-sing on the bedpost!"

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Adventure in Honeymooning !

The newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon suite, and it turns out that they are both virgins. Brought up the old traditional way, neither of them really knows how to have sex. So after about half a painful hour of abortive attempts to get it on, an idea occurs to the husband.

"OK, honey," he says, "this is what we'll do. I'll go into the closet and you go into the bathroom. We'll both get undressed and turn off the lights in the bedroom. And then on the count of three we'll both rush out at each other and then it will just happen in the middle of the bedroom."

The wife is a bit unsure about this, but since she doesn't have any better ideas she agrees. So, the husband goes into the closet and the wife goes into the bathroom and they both get undressed. The anticipation is driving the husband mad and as he takes off his clothes he begins to get an enormous erection.

The wife turns off the lights and on the count of three they both rush out into the bedroom towards each other. However since the room is dark the husband gets disoriented and runs by his wife...right into the dresser. He hits his willy against the dresser so hard that he passes out from the pain.

The next thing he remembers is coming to in a hospital bed, with a doctor looking down at him. His throbbing tool is still so painful that he moans to the doctor, "Doc, doc, how bad is it?"

To which the doctor replied, "That's nothing son. Wait till you see your wife! We still haven't gotten her off the doorknob yet."