Loo Loo Land

Well it seems that my new father is a complete freak. It's none of my business what he's into, though.

It feels like we've been walking for forever, how big is this house anyways? And why are all of the walls covered in mounted limbs? My parents have some seriously odd aesthetic preferences. But, this stuff seems a bit too out in the open, is murder legal in this world?

I severely hope murder isn't legal in this world. Though it might make for some fun fights, so maybe it wouldn't be horrible. As long as I'm prepared, that is.

As we left the house, I looked over my mom's shoulder to get a better look at the house. Huge was an understatement, this place was bigger than i could ever imagine! Thank goodness I'm filthy rich in this life.

*BEEP BEEP*

I turn back around to see a very expensive, vintage-looking car, no idea which one in particular though. Upon closer inspection, there was a logo that said "Pride Motors" with a dark red pentagram around it.

So far, the clues I've received are leading me to believe that I've somehow ended up in hell. I never really believed in any religion, so i was excited when I realized I had been reincarnated. Guess my assumptions might have been wrong.

"Crimson, why don't we walk to Loo Loo Land? I'd like for this trip to last as long as possible," mom scratched my chin to make her reasons obvious.

My father sighed, "I'd love to spend as much time with Mox as possible as well. However, I'm one of the most dangerous men in the greed ring and you're an ars goetia, we can't risk anything happening this time around. That's why I suggest that you give us all some disguises as well."

So this place is called the 'greed ring' huh, i wonder if there's more rings and why are they referred to as rings? Sigh, I just keep adding more questions to the pile each time one is answered.

My self pitying was interrupted by mom waving her hand and covering us in smoke. When the smoke dispersed, I noticed that my parents looked different. Father's hair had turned from white to a dark grey and was now slicked all the way back. He also had a much thicker tail and his clothes had changed to a more casual set. His face was just a bit different, but coupled with everything else, he was almost unrecognizable. Mom, on the other-hand, changed nearly everything about herself. Her hair turned to a neon blue and her mouth had become like that of a crocodile. Her skin turned purple and very tiny horns jutted from her head, like a baby goat. Her clothes matched that of an eighties fitness instructor, like the ones from the workout videos, you know?

I once again have no clue what I look like right now, as i still can't see m- Wait! I quickly look to the window of the car and show a toothy grin. Yes, a toothy grin, because I am currently a miniature version of my mother's crocodile form. Although I'm wearing a small sweater and shorts instead of a getup remotely similar to mom's. 

I wish I had thought of this earlier, i'd finally know what I look like in my true form. Well i guess I'll just have to hope we walk past the car on the way back. Now, let's get out of here!

We get into the car and father begins to drive. I try to peak my head up to the window but alas, I am far too short. I try to signal my mom to raise me to see out the window, but she just thinks i want to play and tells me to wait a bit. With no more options, I rest my head on her shoulder and begin to drift off.

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I wake up as the car began to stop and groggily push myself from my mom. I am handed to my father after we exit the car since mom has to use the restroom. They agree that we'll meet somewhere near the entrance. This meant father and I can only play a select few games in the mean time.

As father buys tickets for all of us, my attention is drawn elsewhere. Where the hell are all of those cheers coming from? I turn to see a giant tent and my eyes light up. I've always wanted to see a circus.

I tug on my father's shirt to draw his attention and point to the massive tent some distance away.

"Sorry Mox, but we still gotta wait on you're mom. We'll go see the show soon though, okay? For now, why don't we go check out some of the stands?", I give him a look signifying my reluctance but in the end, I can only shrug my shoulders and go along with it.

Seeing my actions, father shows a weird expression. Wonder what's up with him? Wait, do babies usually show so much intelligence at this age? Please don't think I'm cursed or something! I don't wanna be dropped in a dumpster!

He stood there for a minute before shaking it off and moving on, he glances at me every so often now. I hope I didn't fuck up too bad.

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How long does it take to find a damn restroom in this place? Crimson and I have been roaming for what feels like forever at this point. Also, we've stopped at quite a few stalls by now and he's shown tremendous skill in almost all facets. His strength and endurance are through the roof! Not to mention his accuracy is simply supernatural. 

As we slowly approach another stall, I look at the owner. He is an imp like Crimson, but the smile adorning his face makes me uncomfortable. Upon reaching the stall the man says, "5$ for a chance to win one of these magnificent trophies!" he pointed to a bunch of shitty looking stuffed animals, "Alls you have to do is knock the targets over,"

It really didn't seem that hard, the targets were large and the balls provided were even larger. I'm pretty sure even I could do it.

Crimson picked up the first ball and chucked it at the target, he missed. He had an odd look on his face, " The weight on these is distributed unevenly." 

The stall owner replied, " Not my problem, keep going."

A vein appeared on crimson's head as he picked up the next ball and tossed it around in his hand. After getting a good feel of it, he threw it again and hit the target right in the middle, but it didn't go down.

Crimson was extremely surprised but didn't say anything, knowing the owner would only give another smart ass answer. With this in mind he picked the last ball.

The muscles on his arm flexed and veins appeared all throughout it as well. It almost seemed like it had increased in size. The ball left his hand and ripped through the air towards the target. Upon reaching it's destination, the ball exploded the target to smithereens.

Good god, I don't even wanna know how strong that would've been had he not been holding me! Actually scratch that, yes I do! Are both of my parents super strong?

As I wondered to myself, dad spoke, "I think that I'll take the bunny plush." The sly smile on his face would be enough to piss anyone off. However, the stall owner didn't seem too surprised by the demonstration of strength and spoke, "You didn't knock the target down, you destroyed it. So I don't think I'll be giving you any prizes. Feel free to have another try, just make sure you pay up."

I was astonished at the brazen disrespect this imp showed to my dad, especially after what he just did to the target! All of a sudden, I felt a smoldering heat begin to emanate around me. Though it wasn't from me, it was from dad! His skin was turning redder by the second and it was starting to hurt me!

I yanked his hair to tell him to stop and began to feel the air around us cool down a bit. Though his expression didn't change as his face wrinkled with a primal rage and he reached behind his back and PULLED OUT A FUCKING UZI!! Where was he hiding that? And how did he sneak it into the fucking park!?

The imp from before suddenly ducked under the counter between us. But he suddenly jolted back up holding an assault rifle. This fucking place just keeps getting crazier! I looked around us to see if I was the only one seeing this shit and nobody even batted an eye! Is this normal for them, are they brain dead or something? How are they not scared?

As I was about to lose my mind from fear of being shot, an ominous figure suddenly approached and punched the stand the imp was hiding behind. Everything blew hundreds of meters away and left the imp shocked! The imp, frozen in fear could do nothing as the reptilian figure widened its maw and chomped down! Blood spewed everywhere, even on me and dad. I might barf if I didn't think that was so fucking cool.

The demon stepped forward and snatched me from my dad, though by this point I already knew it was mom. She reprimanded father for what felt like the millionth time today, "What do you think you're doing, getting into a fight while still holding Moxxie?! If I hadn't been here he could have died!"

"Poltis, please calm down. That guy would've been dead in seconds if I wanted. Mox would have been fine, and if not, I would've given my life to protect him." he gave me a soft look as he spoke. Is this guy really a gangster?

Mom calmed down a bit but still retorted, "Okay, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm still disappointed."

Father sighed in partial relief and made a suggestion to change the topic, "Hey, why don't we go to the circus? I know you love that place and Mox seemed interested earlier."

Stars shown in mom's eyes as he spoke, especially at the end, "Of course my little Mox loves the same things his mommy does, doesn't he?" she played with my nose, "Well what are we waiting for? Let's get going!" She immediately began a mad dash to the giant tent ahead as dad tried to keep up.

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(A/N good lord writing is somehow easier and harder than I thought. Anyways, few questions. Should i write in present or past tense? I tried both in this chapter if you noticed. Also I had him switch between dad, mom, father, mother, and first names to show how he felt at the time. Should I stop and just go with first names? Thanks for reading and have a Viagra filled day🥳)

(1855 words) Longest chap yet!🥸