Chapter 96

"Yes." I came screaming as my orgasm wracked my body, making me buck against Loki and Thor. They felt my muscles contract hard and they came screaming. During my screams I bit Bucky lightly and he came down my throat screaming. By holding back, it was the strongest group orgasm we've ever had.

I half passed out on Thor. He stroked my hair as I recovered. He rolled with us and both me and Loki shifted bonelessly. I felt Loki's arm snake around me, so I knew he was still conscious. Bucky crawled up somehow and laid his head on my hip.

"Holy fucking hell Doll. That was… I have never come so strong." Bucky was still breathing heavily.

"By the nine realms Angel. I… it…" Thor breathed in my ear, at loss for words.

"By Odin, pet. I do believe you were trying to kill us. I do not think any of us have come that hard or been this spent after only one act."

"Mmm. But so worth it. Besides, I got what I wanted."

All three men looked at me startled. I gave a Cheshire cat grin.

"You begged."

"Son of a bitch, Dollface." Bucky smiled and shook his head.

Thor looked thoughtful. "I had never thought to beg for something before."

Loki looked at me solemnly. "I do not beg often, my dear. For you, I swallow my pride and beg. Only for you would I do this. I have never done it for anyone before and never will for anyone else." 

I rolled and took Loki's hands in my face, smoothing back that inky black hair. 

"I adore you Loki. More than you realize. I never want to wound your pride. And I'm sorry that I made you beg again. I won't do it again, I promise." I felt a tear slide down my face at the horror that I had demeaned him, demeaned all of them. I knew what that felt like and I NEVER wanted to inflict that on anyone. I felt horrible. I closed my eyes and battled the darkness inside me. Memories swirled but in them I saw Loki, Bucky, Thor in my place and I was horrified. I had done this. 

Loki and the others caught all of it as I forgot to shield myself in my horror and panic. Loki grabbed my face, wiping away my tears. "Look at me, pet."

I opened my eyes. I didn't want to, but I didn't want to make it worse by making him ask twice.

He stared into my eyes. "You did not demean me or Barnes or Thor. We willingly begged you. We could have stopped and left you at any time." He brushed my hair out of my face. "I know you love me. I know you love us. Believe me when I say you did not hurt my pride. My love for you lets me beg without shame. And it even makes me proud of you, to humble us all so well but so lovingly.

And I am sorry darling. You did have a good point. You are always the one that begs. And you should not be. I think us begging helps you believe we need you. That we want you. That we love you." 

I nodded. It made me feel wanted when they asked me to give them something only I could. I felt important to them.

Loki kissed me softly. "Do not fret, my pet. All is well and all of us are satisfied."

I giggled. "You rhymed."

"So I did." Loki gave me a chuckle and tucked me in close with everyone. "Sleep now, my love. Who knows what wakeup you will have in the morning."

"A good one I hope, with lots of screaming."

Bucky laughed. "Be careful what you wish for Doll. It may come true."

"God, I hope so."

I smiled and snuggled into Loki's chest. As I listened to his heartbeat, I sent a thought to just him. I didn't want the other two to hear.

'Lokes?'

'Yes pet?'

'I'm not sure how I want to say this. As my first love and soul bond, I know you are the strongest. But you would have been the strongest no matter what order. I wasn't kidding when I said I adore you. You are my soul. It's why earlier hurt so much. Losing you… the first man I ever really loved. I never said I love you to anyone before you. Not even Dean. I didn't have time or the want for sentiment.

But with you it changed. I wanted you from the minute I saw you. Hell, my first thought was tall, dark, and exactly what I always dreamed of. I honestly can't live my life without you. To lose Bucky and Thor… it would devastate me. But to lose you destroys me. I'm sorry I've hurt you so much so many times. It's why I'm hard on myself. Because I keep hurting you, the last person I ever want to hurt. 

I am desperately, hopelessly, completely in love with you.'

I felt him hold me tighter.

'Oh my darling love. I never said I love you to anyone other than my mother and my brother before you. With as many years I have lived, yes, I have had dalliances with other women. But nothing serious, never longer than a few nights. And my heart was never involved. It was just a physical release for me.

When you literally dropped out of the sky and I saw how your body twisted and moved, I had never felt such a longing before. When I saw your face, I just wanted to know you more. Your voice sent shivers down my spine. I had never had a woman affect me so. And it made me want to know you even more. My heart stopped when we saw you bleeding and then you passed out. I didn't want anyone else to hold you, so I made sure I was the one that caught you.

The more I saw of you, the more I desired you. Not just physically but also to have as a part of my life. I have always seen you as someone I wanted to keep. To be with you as you grew older. I knew you would age well before me and the thought of you dying left a hole in my heart. But I still wanted to be with you in spite of that.'

I felt him mentally smile.

'With my mind reading, I kept out of your head, but it was hard not to try. I didn't want to intrude on you that way. But I could feel your desire for me. That was coming through so loud I could not help but hear it. I was happy you wanted me as much as I wanted you. I was glad I was illusion that night in your shower. The sight of you without clothes, so self-assured, I wanted nothing more than to take you right there on the bathroom floor. 

I had never felt so nervous as the night I courted you. I was afraid you would say no, even though you desired me. I was insanely jealous when you said you were going out with Rogers that same morning as we were going out for dinner. But your words made me realize that I was the one you wanted. I knew what you were going to say with that slip of the tongue, my love. 

The story of your life made me feel distressed and I wanted to do nothing more than to shield you from that ever happening again. And then you said what you did while we were dancing. And I fell even more in love with you. Our first kiss was as if Valhalla itself had opened up and gave you to me. 

That day you ran and I almost lost you, I realized you were my soulmate. But even without that, I was in love. When you told me you loved me, I was afraid to believe it was real. I had dreamed of hearing those words from you for so long, and there you were, saying them.