Chapter 72

I watched the day go by as I sat in the window seat. I drew my legs up and rested my forehead on my knees. It was so hard. I could clearly see their faces as they watched my window. I started to cry. Now that Thor had broken the dam, it seemed it was all I could do. I felt my shoulders shake as I cried. I wrapped my arms around my knees and pulled myself tight and just let go. Large sobs wracked my body, and I rocked back and forth for comfort. The only person I would let see me cry was Thor. I didn't realize that Bucky and Loki could see me crying, watching me break, twisting that knife in their hearts even more without knowing it or meaning to. 

I finally stopped crying and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I went back and sat on the bed. Bruce had made sure to install a TV and brought plenty of books. He even made sure they were some of my favorite horror authors, which made me smile. I was starting to believe again that someone could care for me. These kind gestures showed I was more than just a patient. But today I just sat and waited. As night fell, Bruce brought me dinner. I saw it was enough for five people. I saw why when I saw Thor follow him carrying a suitcase.

I grinned. "Hi Bruce! Hi Thor!" I even waved. 

Bruce gave me a big smile. "Hi Ari. I've missed hearing your voice and seeing you really smile. I'm glad to be part of the reason."

I nodded. "Yep, you both are."

"Good. Now here is your dinner. I'm sure you noticed it's way more than usual, but Thor wanted to eat with you."

"I hope that is alright, Ari."

"Of course, Thor! I would love to eat dinner with you." I bounced a little, earning big smiles from both of them.

"Alright then. I will leave you two to your dinner and wish you goodnight."

I stood up and gave Bruce a hug before he left. "Thank you, Bruce. For everything. And I am sorry to have been such a bother."

"You aren't a bother and no need to apologize. I'm just glad you're starting to do better. Good night, Ari."

Bruce left the room, but I could hear him talking by the door. "No not yet. She's starting to smile again, and her voice is strong. For now, she is only wanting me or Thor around. I know you want to see her, but she needs to be ready for it, or you will fully lose any chance of fixing things. Thor is good for her, and he will help her heal.

 I am still furious with you two for whatever you did to cause all this. She didn't deserve it, even if she hadn't had the past she does. Whatever it was, it was cruel. In all honesty, I have never seen someone so broken as she is. It was more than suicide. She didn't want to be saved. Those cuts were to the bone. It was a miracle that her hands work. Yes, this is harsh to hear, but you two need a fucking wakeup call." I heard him hesitate as if he was debating on saying something but then decided to say it. "Whatever you did to destroy her like that was worse than what you did when you tried to take over the world and worse than your time as Winter Soldier."

With those final words I heard Bruce walk away. The guilt was so thick outside that I could feel it through the door. Thor watched me and just held out his arms. I launched myself from the bed and leaped into his arms. Hearing all that was more than I could handle right now, and I gripped Thor tight as I cried. I heard some muffled sobs through the door as I cried. Thor held me tight.

"Did I really cause all that harm to everyone?" I asked quietly.

"No dear one. You were not the cause. Everyone was devastated in how we almost lost you. But we didn't even need to be angry or blame anyone. Loki and Bucky blame themselves more than we ever could."

I started to shiver as I heard their names. Thor was the first person to say them to me. He carried me to the bed and sat cross-legged on the bed and held me in his lap, my legs going around his waist. He held my face in my hands. Gently he wiped my tears away and just looked at me.

"It will all be okay Ariane. I promise I will make it okay." For the third time today, he softly kissed my lips. 

"Why do you keep doing that, Thor?"

He laughed softly. "Because you are beautiful, and your lips were made for kissing. It is my gentle way to show you that I love you. Not as much as Loki and Bucky because of the soul bond," he felt me tense and his thumbs caressed my cheeks and I relaxed, "but I am in love with you. I needed you to know this before I spent another night with you. It was heaven to me to hold you last night, to know I am the one you trust to start facing life again."

He shook his head. "If it would not hurt my brother, I would try to take this farther. I want to do everything I can to make sure that beautiful smile stays on your face. But as much as I want you, and I do want you, I will never act on it. But know that I am always there for you."

I looked up into Thor's face. This was all more than I had been expecting. I sat thinking and he just sat quietly, letting me think. Thor never pushed me. He let me do things in my own time. Finally, I pulled myself up by his shoulders and gave him the sweetest kiss I could.

His arms came around me and held me close. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, and we just sat that way. As he set my bottom back on the bed, I realized why he had told me all this. He was hard as a rock. I swallowed. He seemed to have awakened the part of me that craved pleasure. And while I know I would enjoy it, and Thor too, he was not fully the one I wanted it from. This told me I was on the way to being ready to see them. I knew how us all being together usually broke down into sex. I had to be sure I was ready for that. It was how the three of us healed. But I made a vow to not betray them and I would keep it.

"I'm touched, Thor, and honored beyond belief." I laughed loudly. "I can feel how honored and touched you are. And to be honest, you feel huge. Part of me does wish I could find out more for myself. And I will be honest, that part of me wants to ride you all night long. But most of me still loves them. I think you are the person Wanda was talking about, being special in my heart." 

I pulled myself back up his body. "You do excite me and if I could live with myself, I would let you feel for yourself. I am not trying to tease you or lead you on. I am trying to be as frank and honest as you were with me." I looked into his eyes and then moved my face until I was inches from his lips, and he could feel my breath then I kissed him. I wanted to give him a gift for all that he had done for me, so I teased his lips with my tongue until he opened his mouth. I slid my tongue in and licked the inside of his mouth. He deepened the kiss, and his arms were like a vise around me. I finally broke off the kiss. Thor was breathing heavily, and I could see sparks in his eyes.

I grinned. "See. Sparky suits you after all."