23

On such ordinary evenings

Literature teacher Özlem would remain silent.

SHe felt like s he couldn't fight this stifling environment.

SHe was already too tired to fight this war.

She needed calmness, she wished for all the emotions that filled her during the day to flow away calmly.

SHe loved to open her heart to herself in moments of calm

Because that's what she feels

She did not attempt to reveal any of her feelings to anyone else.

No matter how heavy these feelings were for her, she would not reveal her heart to anyone.

The light line at the corner of her pale lips gave a clue to the war going on inside her.

Sometimes, when she couldn't stand it anymore and had a crying fit, that line would reflect the longing inside her.

Dinner didn't last long, Dad stood up and wished good night, he was about to light his cigarette.

She walked towards her room. It was a day as usual. Özlem sat under the lamp and picked up her book. A literature teacher should always read. It was too early. If it was Another Night, she would pick up another novel and read it until late hours. Or look out the window.

S He used to watch, she didn't think about anything specific, on such nights she just had an indescribable love for the beauty of the sparkling glass, but today there was a heaviness on her, she felt a longing for sleep and the happy dreams that could possibly come together in sleep.

She quickly changed her clothes and lay down on her bed. She was remembering the beautiful moments of today. mathematics teacher, Necip, had looked at her with admiration. He had spent the day with her, listening to his own melodies.

They were rehearsing for their concert in which she would accompany her violin. Özlem's biggest passion was playing the violin. After the rehearsal, she studied classical music.

S He was fascinated by beautiful words. Oh, how beautiful were the mathematician's words.

Memories of today flowed from her eyes, she was suddenly diving into dreams and suddenly s he was falling into reality, the times they spent together.

SHe was sorry for the lack of time

Meanwhile, she heard her sister getting into hers bed.

Suddenly the question crossed hers mind whether s he would be invited to her house one day.

Her lips curled up with a smile

S. He was already sleepy. Within a few minutes, she was on his way to hers happy dreams and fell asleep. When she woke up, she found a message on the phone next to her

There were a few words on it, but Özlem saw these ordinary words as a gift.

Because the mathematician wrote these words, she read them to herself as if that man was reading them to her at that time.

While reading, he used a melodic intonation, thinking that it was written with great love. He kept a little distance in case his family saw it. He even said to himself while reading the lines written in formal language.

She was so caught up in the man's voice and hers imagination while writing these that she almost didn't understand what the man was saying.

According to the writers, the man was wondering whether s he would join the excursion planned for this Saturday.

he wanted to learn

There was a school trip this Saturday, and he told me that he wanted to go to a concert that was planned long ago. Finally, with a friendly greeting, what was written was finished.

SHe was reading the lines in front of him over and over again.

SHe believed that there were really intense emotions underlying those lines. However, these emotions were nothing but the reflection of his own emotions.

In fact, this love was not a very old story. They met in an association that gave violin lessons. Özlem was loved so much there that she was a friend to everyone rather than just a teacher.

Even though he was a violinist, his success was confirmed and their meeting took place very naturally.

Özlem was able to attract the man's attention for the first time in these lessons, and she adapted to him so well...

While she was playing, she could immediately catch the calmness and sincerity in her soul. At the end of their performance, while the applause was still going on, he offered her a little chat.

Özlem showed her acceptance by slowly nodding her head. However, unfortunately, this conversation was interrupted because they were both very busy.

It could not happen, the man could occasionally make eye contact with Özlem and examine her body with a furtive glance.

Due to the arrival of new people, they could not spare time for each other.

In fact, Özlem was almost about to forget what they had agreed to do. When everyone dispersed and things calmed down, the man said that Özlem

She came to him and asked in a soft voice if she could take him home. Özlem didn't know what to say for a moment.

But in the end the man was able to get the answer he wanted from him.

The house where Özlem lives with her family is far from the city.

It was far away. Therefore, this meant a long journey. They were silent at the beginning. They did not know what to talk about and where to start. Then the mathematics teacher Necip Erdogan started talking. Today we are together.

They talked about the pieces they played, school, students and other artistic topics

A woman who devotes herself so much to art is an introvert in real life.

It wasn't hard to understand.

Therefore, he puts his finger on Özlem's sensitive points.

r and made her open up to him

Özlem says some things about herself that she doesn't even realize.

He didn't know how the math teacher had told Necip.

He had somehow overcome the timidity that had always prevailed in him, and became friends with Necip, and even confidant after a point.

They had become what they were and he couldn't understand how it happened.

The man gave her such an impression that he was a magnanimous artist and nothing should be hidden from him.

Until now, Özlem's surroundings had always been full of ordinary people.

They were conservative. It was easy to predict what they would react to. A new door had been opened since that man appeared. It was like a quiet but bright night in front of Özlem. On such a calm night, two people were walking and

The shadows were dispersing in this silence, and he was filled with confidence as if he was talking to himself.

Emotions sinking deep in the chaos of the day; the calm of the night

love was emerging and unintentionally pouring into words On a cold winter's night

This long walk had brought them closer together. Özlem had forgotten her lover in another city, as if she was about to say goodbye to him.

The hands extended for the purpose remained united for a long time.

Then they parted ways like two old friends.

They met many times in a day at school, at first they just ran into each other, but later they agreed and started meeting.

On the edge of Porsuk or on the bar street, where cafes are lined.

Özlem is different

SHe impressed mathematics teacher Necip Erdoğan with her attitude and the novels she read.

Necip was watching with admiration his childish timidity and his spirit that surrendered itself to him.

The simple intensity of his emotions and his involuntary response to all kinds of beauty and subtlety, and his ability to convey this to his surroundings.

S He loved the shy ways he tried to hide.

These intense and exciting feelings that Özlem was able to accompany while she was with mathematics teacher Necip Erdoğan were very foreign to her.

This man, who suddenly found himself in the world of adults, had never tasted the beauty of his childish feelings.

He loved passionately, aiming for sexual satisfaction at the end of the work, and all his emotions were exhausted there. He knew himself; he was disgusted with himself when he succumbed to some of his weaknesses; lust and sexuality were just like his art.

SHe brought vitality to his life and soul.

He thought that his virtuosity in playing the violin came from his strong masculinity.

He was aware that his literature teacher Özlem's feelings for him were shy and loyal, and she fit the definition of perfection he had created for a woman in his dreams.

He loved Özlem personally

She admired his calm and reserved artistic spirit. Sometimes Özlem would examine the man carefully, as if he were a work of art.

Every moment you pour your heart out to him is a sin

He felt relieved as if he had taken it off.

He wanted to chat with her at every opportunity.

Necip Erdoğan was jealous when she was with geography teacher Ayten Bektas.

He didn't worry about the flow of life, the days he spent

In his eyes, it was like a dream that just passed away.

For this reason, he did not have any worries about the future. He believed that this beautiful feeling of love that surrounded him with confidence would continue like this. One day, while they were drinking tea together at Özlem's house, the phone rang. It was the doctor, who lives in another city.

It was her boyfriend, Özlem suddenly panicked. She immediately made a sign for silence with her hand. Necip remained silent and did not speak up throughout the phone call.

Özlem explained that there was no one with her and that she was alone at home. This was the day Özlem cheated on her boyfriend. Most of the time, Özlem was with mathematics teacher, Necip.

S He didn't even feel the need to talk when she was around Erdoğan, they just talked while looking at each other, they read books together or kept silent together, reading a book with him was very enjoyable.

It was fun to go to the movies with him. He was also watching it on the other side, imagining it.

When he said a few words, his dreams started to become brighter and brighter.

All the sounds of daily life were silent now there was only calmness

And that melody that came from the depths of his heart. That's the melody he heard.

At times, a need for compassion was awakening in him. She realized that she was completely under Necip Erdoğan's influence, but he was unfairly forcing her into books.

He was passionate about literature and art.

He couldn't take himself away from her.

He felt very strange in front of her because he thought he was constantly taking something from her even though he couldn't give her anything.

I go to the man's house a few times a week now.

It had become a habit for him to go. In the beginning, these meetings took place during rehearsals for the planned program.

But later on, they couldn't give up on these one or two hours. Özlem thought that she had nothing to hide in front of the man.

One day, while walking around the market, a woman

SHe saw the laundry and asked Necip Erdoğan to buy the laundry she liked very much.

"I'll buy it too, but I have one condition," he said. "I'd like to see it on you."

When they came home, Özlem stood in front of Necip Erdoğan, looking like a model in her new underwear.

started to wander around.

She, too, was watching herself with admiration. Most of the time, she did not even notice that this man, who was sitting at her knees and listening to her with excitement, took her hands and pressed his warm lips to her hands from time to time.

Necip has dark skin

He placed a kiss on her shoulder.

Özlem was in a completely different world of dreams and she trembled with this kiss.

He felt that he was getting wet, these hours they spent together were like salvation for him.

Özlem said, "Kissing is a very innocent thing." "Then let's kiss," Necip said.

He got up from his seat and came to Özlem. The only thing he was aware of was that these hours were shining hours into his boring and monotonous day.

He had no other concern than being calm and peaceful. All he wanted was to escape towards happiness. Despite this desire, he did not clearly reflect his happiness.

reflected on his face when he is around other people and his family.

He was holding back a smile by squeezing himself.

He wanted to hide all his experiences from all evil eyes like a delicate work of art that could be broken into a thousand pieces by the attack of his vicious fingers. For this reason, he wanted to hide all his experiences from evil eyes.

He surrounded happiness with ordinary words so that it would not be shattered by the attacks of others.

The night before the Sunday evening when they had planned a trip together, they were at his house again, wearing that strange dress while knocking on the door.

There was timidity.

Necip Erdoğan quickly opened the door and welcomed him in. When they entered the room, he took the thin jacket he was wearing and touched his lips to her delicate hands. The two of them sat down together on the dark sofa.

They settled in. The room was bright.

The outside air, blocked by clouds, was slowly reflecting inside.

Necip Erdoğan asked if we should light a candle for a romantic atmosphere, but literature teacher Özlem did not want it

. She liked this half-lit state of the room.

They were sitting in silence, both of them started reading a book.

Necip Erdoğan was reading the novel The Alchemist.

Özlem was reading the novel titled Veronika Wants to Die. Every detail in the room was visible with the statue on it. The writing desk standing in the corner was clear

There were Mathematics books, various novels and city books on the table. There were refrigerator sounds from somewhere in the house.

The ticking of the clock could be heard from a distant corner, faintly reaching the ear.

It was like the angry footsteps of the time flowing mercilessly. The cigarette the man had lit before the longing came.

The smoke floated in the dim darkness of the room.

The coolness coming in through the half-open window was dispersing this smoke.

They were engrossed in conversation.

from teachers at school

they were talking.

They were talking about the geography teacher, Ayten Bektaş, the school principal, the students, the art teacher, the physics teacher, and how difficult it was to go to the movies with the physics teacher.

They talked to each other about how he couldn't choose the seat he would sit in. That's why he was trying to calculate the angle of inclination rather than buying a ticket and thinking about where to see the screen better. At first, they told each other about daily topics and topics.

While there were smiles, the subject gradually deepened and the man talked about a composition he heard in a village he visited and a love affair.

He was talking about his song, and for some unknown reason, this song, which he could not fully understand at the time, came to his mind and became a work of art.