ZombieLand (Part 1)

Logan, Akane, and Leah were resting after having some fun with the waitress when the world finally faded to black and the credits rolled on by. The three laughed in amusement as multiple pictures taken by Carter, Akane, and Leah flipped by showing their antics, earning a few wolf whistles from the girls as Logan's stripping fight was shown by multiple photos.

"You know I have to say that was a lot more fun than I thought it would be" Leah said as the final picture left the screen and now was just showing classic closing credits for everyone who worked on the movie.

"Yeah, I always like that one cause it knew what it was" Akane said while munching on some popcorn that had shown up after every film so far. "It wasn't some drama filled fear fest like so many are. Yes, zombies are dangerous and seeing your world go apocalyptic is horrible to see, but after the sixth movie that plays on those fears? it's just boring."

"Which is why we headed to Zombieland last, right?" Leah asked as she looked at the two who were nodding. 

"Oh hell yeah! we're gonna be enjoying the hell out of it" Akane said while throwing popcorn in the air so it would rain down. "Six years to fuck around and have a little fun without any real threat breathing down our neck baby." Logan and Leah nodded along with a smirk as the plan they came up with rolled through their mind.

It was simple really, they would enjoy the small little adventure with the group during the first movie's plot of playland. Then, for once, go explore an actual zombified world without restraint. Most of the time they had no real choice but to follow the plot given the threat level of the dead, or how fast the plot of the movie actually was. Only Dawn of the Dead ever gave them a rather decent amount of time, but Akane and Logan had thought that was there permanent reality and didn't want to fuck themselves over when they were there. Thus, they played it safe and have regretted it ever since. Now though, with ZombieLand? Well six years to visit the sights without the need of niceties and monetary hindrance to bog them down sounded rather nice. 

"Oh, here we go!" Akane shouted out as she watched the last few lines of recognition for the movie scroll by, and all three felt the world go dark.

#####

Logan's gaze met a tiled wall as he came back to consciousness from the fade out. Flicking his eyes left and right he realized that he was inside a bathroom. When his gaze flicked down and realized that he had his cock in hands while standing in front of a urinal, he came to the conclusion that it was a public bathroom. He raised a brow at this most recent placement from the cineplex when he heard a growl rise up from behind him. Goosebump flared up on the back of his neck from the sound and on pure instinct he shifted his body right as the growl turned into a shout of rage.

It was the correct call, as the dead behind him rushed forward in hopes of taking a bite out of the moviegoer's exposed neck. Now though, the dead had nothing but the stained porcelain to bite on as it collided into the urinal that Logan was in front of. Seeing the easy kill for what it was, the tall man sent a kick to the back of the dead leg, causing it to fall face first into the soiled water at the bottom of the urinal. With the dead at the bottom of the urinal, Logan gave a courtesy flush before bringing up his booted foot and slamming it down on the dead's head, breaking the urinal and neck of the dead. With the threat neutralized Logan went about making himself decent before walking over to the sinks to wash up.

As he was drying his hands he suddenly received a buzz on his phone and checked his texts.

[Akane: Where you at?] came through with a picture of Akane in a rather similar bathroom with just more stalls and no urinals. He noticed that she was wearing her dawn of the dead outfit that consisted of a stylized patchworked leather duster and wide brimmed hat, that should have gone over motorcycle armor. Instead she was wearing a shirt that had the words "Like a taste of Japan tonight?" with a graphic image of a naked geisha with strategically placed sushi to keep it on the edge of risky. Where she found such a shirt he didn't know and wasn't going to ask. 

Also in the shot was Leah who seemed to also have altered her style by pulling on her native roots. She had bradied her coarse black hair with a few feathers and beads, donned a tasseled brown leather jacket and tight blue jeans, while finishing the looks with a colorful shirt plus a dark brown leather cowboy hat and boots. He himself had kept the look that Leah had given him for the night with the scouts, seeing as better than anything he would have picked out.

[Logan: Pretty sure you're in the bathroom next to mine. Hang on] he sent out before walking over to one of the stalls and banging on the wall. immediately he got a text that was a thumbs up from Akane. [Logan: meet you outside] he sent off before walking towards the door. As soon as he did though, movement outside the bathroom door caught his ear. It was the bang of a shotgun round being fired, making Logan sigh as he pulled out his sidearm and rushed to the door. Opening it cautiously, he took in the sight of Leah holding a double barrel shotgun up and away from a prone Columbus. 

"Oh shit!" sounded out as Logan fully pushed out of the bathroom to see the twenty something nerd looking at both Akane and Leah with shock and fear as both women had their pistols pointing directly between Columbus's eyes. Said nerd then flicked his gaze at Logan with guilt filled eyes as he tried to defuse the situation. 

"It's not what you think! I wasn't trying to peep or anything on them, on you" Columbus said looking back at Akane and Leah. "I was just going to use the bathroom that was cleaner than the guys, you know? Didn't think it would be an issue given the lack of humanity in town. I just didn't see a car so I just assumed that, umm, that is to say I inferred that I was cool too, ah...please don't shoot me!" The three looked at the nerd and then each other before Akane started laughing and put her gun away. 

Leah did the same while flipping the shotgun around to hand back to the nerd. "It's fine, just didn't want to get shot," Leah said while staring down at Columbus. The nerd sighed in relief as he shook his head rapidly. 

"Yeah, no, no, you're good" Columbus muttered out as he stumbled to his feet. He then looked at Leah and the gun for a second before taking it gingerly with a little bow. "Thanks for grabbing my gun from me actually. You saved me from killing an actual person, yourself I mean. So, really, thanks should go to you, uh."

"Big Valley" Leah said, making Columbus raise a brow. "no names, helps to keep people at arms length, in case you die or something. People go by their birth place usually"

"Oh yeah, umm, Columbus" Columbus said while foppishly waving to his person after realizing that he should now introduce himself after she had.

"Oh wow, aren't you just the most adorable little guy?" Akane said, ironically looking up at Columbus's face. "You can call me Salem, and that tall man over there Yellowstone" Akane said while nodding her head at Logan. "Are we your first survivors after the initial slaughtering from the dead?" Columbus paused at the small woman's choice of words but nonetheless nodded. 

"Yeah, you three would be the first living people other than the zombie's so... nice to meet you, and you" Columbus said with a nod towards Akane and then Logan.

"Same, especially if you have a car?" Logan asked.

"Ah, yes! I do in fact have a ride and would be very much willing to share, if you're heading east that is" Columbus said as he started to walk towards and then past Logan. "I'm heading back to Columbus actually, hopefully I can find my parents, you haven't happened to have been that way have you? Cause-AH!" Columbus shouted out as a pink jacketed dead rounded the corner of the gas station just as he came up to it. Logan, Akane, and Leah all pulled their handguns as the dead tried to grab Columbus, but ended up gripping his shotgun's barrel.

As the dead tried to yank it out of his hands, Columbus accidentally pulled on the trigger and caused the remaining round to go off next to and behind the dead. As this happened the three behind the nerd all aimed and fired as one, sending three bullets through the dead's head, causing the back to explode in a gory mess. As the dead fell to the ground, Columbus staggered back and collected himself with gasping breaths, and a look of humiliation flashed across his face.

"Forgot about her," Logan said as he and the girls walked up to Columbus, who was actively doing his best to not look at them. Logan, seeing this, started to ask what was wrong when the smell hit his nose and he reached up to plug it. Akane and Leah noticed this and both not only stopped, but also fully stepped back before they got a whiff of the College kid. 

"I ah...do you think you could give me a second to change my pants" Columbus asked as he looked at the three who nodded. "Great let me just go get my-" he started when a sudden and loud boom rocked the world around it. The three dropped to the ground at the sound covering their heads, while Columbus, who had just turn around the side of the gas station, was thrown off his feet and knocked on his ass. As the blast subsided, Logan sprang back up and ran around the corner to see what the hell happened. Akane and Leah were a few steps behind him and as they all turned the corner they understood. 

It would seem that the stray shot had somehow nicked one of the fuel pumps, in just the right way that it caused a leak and spark to ignite the gas. Which then became a ticking time bomb as the fire found its way into the tank reserves under the pumps, thus causing a massive explosion to take place.

"What are the fucking odds?" Leah asked as they soon heard the shouts and growls of the dead that still remained in the ghost town. 

"In reality? Statically low" Logan said.

"In movie worlds? Amazingly common" Akane finished with a smile as they then heard the groan of Columbus from behind them. Turning they saw that he had pulled himself up to a sitting position and saw the destruction. 

"Oh shit..." he said as both his car, and his suitcase were gone. As he realized this a new rule popped into his head.

"Guns away, when fuels at play."

A/N: Doing a rewrite as I just found myself not liking the split up. If I'm being honest I'm finding zombieLand rather hard to write as it played well with such a small cast and putting in the Moviegoers is proving rather difficult. Rewatching the movie has made me realized that it was good to grab both movies as it gave me more to work with. but I still might be rapping up the movies with far less chapters much like Shawn of the dead. Which is why I'm also going to be trying to do a few short stories during the Six year gap between one and two of the movies, with the main cast of the fanfic getting into wacky hi jinks. Anyway, I'm just gonna say that I might be dragging my feet for a bit as I write this, Unless I get inspired during my writing and then binge write.