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There is No Epic Loot Here, Only Puns (Dungeon)

Delta was a teacher who traded her name away for a chance. Now reincarnated as a dungeon core, Delta strives to survive and thrive without becoming a death trap that kills everything, including human beings, like other dungeons. She filled her dungeons with jokes, friendly monsters that could turn deadly if you decided to be violent, mushrooms, more jokes, funny traps, riddles, and most importantly, puns! Her dungeon is also located near the town of Durance, an ordinary-looking town that is actually filled with retired legends of both the famous and infamous kind. In a broken world that is slowly falling apart, watch as Delta repairs it by creating smiles instead of killing! Original Work’s Synopsis: She became a dungeon core. Everything pointed Delta to murdering her way to success. People were just mana farms, right? No, that was wrong. Delta refused. Then everything became odd. *IMPORTANT NOTE* This is not my work but another author’s. I just found this novel unique, fascinating, and splendid. I had a perpetual smile and often laughed while reading this novel. It needs more recognition, so I decided to edit it for any mistakes and post it here on WebNovel. The author does post on RR and a forum website called Space Battle, so check it out if you’re interested. If you're actually spending time reading this note of mine, then I hope you had an enjoyable time reading the novel. If you really enjoyed the novel and would like to support the author (Not Me!111!1!!!), I’m also gonna include his Patreon and PayPal link. Author's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3031332 Author's PayPal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ConnerStewart

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49 Chs

[42] The Little Things

---

[You cannot hide up here forever.]

---

Delta was idly petting one of the Spiders with a shaky finger.

"These aren't so bad. I m-mean compared to some th-things, they're just m-multi-legged h-h-hamsters!" Delta laughed nervously, and the Spider scuttled off, insulted.

"No, wait!" Delta said and stood up to brush the non-existent dust from her skirt.

"Nu, I will go back down eventually. I just need to get over the fact that I gambled and summoned the Hell Worm from the Blood Sea of Mars!" Delta slightly waved her hands, and Nu scoffed as he flashed.

---

[It is your Monster. I, for one, am greatly pleased to have such a capable Monster under our control. Due to the simple fact that it does not have a googly eye or a fluffy behind, you dislike it.]

---

Delta put her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes.

"Don't make me sound so bad! I'm not used to worms bigger than my arm! Or bigger than me, for that matter! I'm not used to them looking like they were born in some evil research lab for Monsters!" Delta argued, and Nu dinged.

---

[Well... if we think about it. We technically are a Monster laboratory.]

---

Nu joked, and it made Delta give up her petulant argument.

"How about we do some needed work on this floor and give the bees a chance to get to work and our new trees time to drop some acorns?" She offered and hid a smile.

Nu was a rather complicated being, but if there was something the little box loved more than anything, it was upgrading the Dungeon.

---

[Well, it would be a wise choice. Very well. Let us get on with it before you accidentally summon some four-headed Goat Monstrosity from grass or something equally mundane.]

---

Delta grumbled and went to the pond, flexing her fingers.

"No Monsters, just nice little fishies..." She whispered and was about to get to work when her Gobs returned. Hob was carrying 2 buckets on a stick while Gob dragged a bundle of plants, eggs, and berries into the Dungeon in a sack.

"Master! Forest gone." Hob grunted as if this was just something mildly interesting. Gob stretched.

"Spiders look angry. Saw much more!" He added happily, and Delta closed her eyes slowly and inhaled.

---

[Oh... Delivery Monsters... Much better.]

---

"Nu, I swear I will drown you!" She threatened, and Nu just dinged cheerfully away. Delta thanked her Goblins for their work and let them take a break at the Goblin Camp. Thankfully, her Goblins had already killed anything alive in the buckets. They simply emptied the buckets on the ground, which caused her Dungeon to devour the fading life.

The additions weren't amazing, but it was tiny things that really enliven places up.

---

Slick Reeds added.

Tiny Brown Fish added.

Moss Fish added.

Aquatic Insects added.

Duck Weed added.

---

This was welcome as it boosted her Mana capacity to a decent 24 Mana. This gave her some more things to do!

Delta tapped her chin, wondering when someone else would come to her Dungeon. Just one or two would be great for her Mana gathering.

----

"Vas, there are loud children at the door requesting you!" Japes called over to Vas. It tried to bury itself deeper into its work.

"I'm very busy, Master. Perhaps another time?" Vas responded in a high tone. Japes paused and eyed the frantic Golem's hands. It was not actually doing anything except looking busy.

Interesting.

He leaned down, purring as he spoke. Vas froze as if a predator was now lurking over it. Smart child.

"Vas. Are you ignoring these people? Why is that?" Japes asked curiously, and Vas shook its head.

"I don't want to go outside! The loud one thinks I am his friend!" Vas explained with annoyance, and Japes was startled to see such a display of open emotion. It wasn't swaying nor blank acceptance.

"Are you not? You had an adventure together, didn't you? They do build bonds of companionship..." Japes commented lightly, which made Vas shiver.

"I don't think I want these bonds. I am simply to help the Fungi stop besmirching the art of pottery... not...that..." Vas tried to explain, and Japes was absolutely delighted. The usually unflappable child of his was trying to wriggle out of social interaction!

"Aww... I understand, Vas." Japes smiled brightly, and the Golem looked up, looking relieved at Japes' words. Japes picked it up, opened the front door, and neatly deposited Vas at the feet of the grinning child, Deo.

"Have Vas back before dinner, if you will." He warned, and Deo saluted.

"I SWEAR IT! COME VAS! RULI PROMISED TO TAKE US BACK INTO THE DUNGEON!" Deo spoke. Japes felt one of his ears ache before Deo physically dragged Vas away, able to ignore the Golem's polite but futile resistance.

Scary child.

Japes felt his monstrous grin appear as they turned a corner.

His Golem was developing faster than he could have ever imagined! These spawns of the people around him had a purpose other than to annoy him!

He simply must thank this Dungeon for providing ample fertile room for his child to grow.

Maybe he'd give it one of his old pots he barely cared for? Japes was sure whatever lay within the pots he barely touched would barely be worth a risk or a danger.

Probably.

Maybe...

Japes went back to resealing one of the captured prizes. It had... outgrown its current pot.

----

"I see fresh people are very busy around here," Seth commented as Deo dragged Vas past them. Quiss watched the Golem go a little limp and give Quiss a wave. He returned it half-heartedly.

"They're going to the Dungeon. Ruli seems to be growing attached to the little Goblins." He sniffed, and Seth nodded.

"Goblins are very attackable. But you said Dungeon is... how do you speak... kind?" He tried, and Quiss nodded.

"Yeah, Delta, the Core, does not kill." He stressed his words, and Seth followed him as he began to lead Seth around the village.

"Dungeon is not normal. It does not ham?" He asked seriously, and Quiss almost missed his step.

"Oh... trust me, she does. But she does not harm. Delta likes people. She makes her Monsters talk to us and even lets Ruli fish in her pond." Quiss explained, and Seth choked.

"Ruli do what in what? I feel Ruli must not over-excite her person in such a way. I think we should reason to her how such dances do not..." Seth trailed off, and Quiss stared blankly at him for several seconds.

"Ruli does not hyonunt. She comunops." He tried, and Seth's eyes lit up.

"Ah, Ruli swings meaty staff for sea birds!" Seth said sagely, and Quiss felt his lips twitch as he felt nostalgic for the old Magic School days now long behind him.

"Yeah, sure... close enough. Come on, I'll show you where the inn is. Prices are fair, but the owner is peculiar about how you pay."

Seth looked worried.

"I did not bring gold or objects for proposal!" He said, and Quiss knew the man had counted on bunking with Quiss.

Quiss was all for it, except for the fact that Seth had taken a very peculiar course as his secondary education in Magic School.

Dream Oracling for the near future or past.

In other words...

The man rambled about imminent near doom on a micro-scale all night, and no one would room with him, except possibly the Shadowmancer in 5C.

That guy seemed to love it.

"Trust me, Sana is fair. Just expect to be doing things that might... make you feel a little nervous." Quiss beamed, which made Seth pale.

Words or not, he found Quiss' expression to be all too clear.

----

First up was the sly but bright Yellowbelly Cod. Delta tapped open the Menu and examined it.

---

Yellowbelly Cod Upgrades:

 - Increase the richness of its meat. 3 DP.

 - Allow the fish to respawn faster. 3 DP.

 - Evolution:

 - Golden-scaled Fish: A fish covered in glimmering golden scales. Tastes good but a little bit faster. It is a very good ingredient for grilling. 10 DP.

---

Delta liked the fact there was no option to give them venom or make them toxic. It was rather refreshing. She hit the Evolve option, and the fish glowed.

The yellow spot on the belly turned into a darker color and spread across the fish's body. When the light show died down, the fish swam in a dazzle of light that even the dim Lumen Mushrooms could make look delicious.

The Silvertail examined his new friend and then swam around in excitement.

Delta checked the new Menu.

---

Golden-scaled Fish Upgrades:

 - Make the fish respawn faster. 6 DP.

 - Make the scales harder and more valuable. 8 DP.

 - Make the meat to give a slight effect to enhance looks for a short period. 10 DP.

 - Evolution locked.

---

Delta eyed that last one. A locked Evolution.

There were only a few reasons Delta could think of that would cause it.

The fish itself needed to swim around more, resist being caught, Delta herself was lacking something, or Delta just wasn't able to provide what the Evolution needed.

It could be one or all of the above, but Delta just put it aside for now. She was just happy to have just upgraded the fish.

She selected the next one on her list.

The scuttling Crayfish looked excited as new things appeared in the pond.

---

Crayfish Upgrades:

 - Make it respawn faster: 3 DP

 - Make the meat inside taste better.

 - Evolution:

 - Snapper Crayfish: This crafty critter can snap cheap lines or make diving in to catch fish with bare hands risky. 8 DP.

---

Delta smiled and hit the Evolve option, making the red Crayfish turn blue. It claws to grow elongated. The feelers on its head looked like fine wire.

Delta cheered and was about to select the next fish when a screen appeared.

---

Congratulations! By having evolved three fishes, you have unlocked the Deep Pond Upgrade and a figure for your Core Room!

---

Delta blinked, then opened the Pond Room's Upgrade Menu without a word.

A few things had appeared since the last time she purchased everything.

---

Pond Room Upgrades:

 - Deep Pond Upgrade (Special): Double the space of the room and pond without disturbing the Dungeon layout! Doubles all fish currently in the pond. 30 DP.

 - Crossbreeding: Allow the fish to breed with each other and form potential unique offspring. 30 DP.

 - Allow the brave to swim to a secret tunnel below and exit out on the Waterfall on the Second Floor. Must have caught either Silvertail or Golden-scaled Fish to access the tunnel. 25 DP.

---

Delta felt stunned for a while, then she began to laugh cheerfully. This was amazing!

---

[I can't see why having a path around Fran is something to be excited about...]

---

"Nu, not everyone is going to be able to fight. I have a Boss Room, but... I think this Dungeon should be equal opportunity. So, if you can't bait a win out of Fran, maybe you can hook some success with fishing and earn your way onto the Second Floor! Nu, this is incredible! It says those 'caught,' not just having those fishes in their possession. People can't just buy their way down to the Second Floor!"

---

[I see... a path for those who are dedicated to fishing so that they may progress in another way. It makes me question what other options this floor will produce for those unable to fight to progress...]

---

Delta shrugged and purchased the Deep Pond Upgrade and the tunnel without a thought. The room began to stretch, and the walls seemed to take several large steps back. Her already decently large Pond Room became a small hall with a glimmering pond in the middle.

Waddles looked around as his alcove grew slightly.

"Quack..." He grumbled and went back to sleep.

Delta looked at her barren floor and some rocks.

She spent just a tiny bit of Mana to grow some grass, and it looked better.

"I still have no idea where the tunnel leads..." Delta muttered and sighed. It was just so relaxing to sit by the pond. She can feel the fish move past her feet, the solid arm-sized pinchers just grazing where she is sitting.

Delta's eyes shot open, and she looked down.

The Giant Worm thing from the Second Floor hole looked up at her, its eyeless face and gaping mouth slightly poking out the water. It looked naked without being buried in the silt and dirt, but it wriggled in greeting before it tiredly drifted back down a small round hole that Delta couldn't see until the Worm vanished back down into it...presumably back to the Second Floor.

Delta felt herself calmly stand up, pulling her feet out of the water, and stiffly walk away.

It... had come to say hello. It had moved through her... It had no eyes.

Delta swallowed and managed a weak smile.

"It's friendly! That's...good!" She managed. She walked fast and stiffly made it to Fran's room, where there wasn't any water. Delta chided herself for being a coward towards the rather friendly Death Worm, but she couldn't help it. She needed some time to get her bearings around the thing.

It was good to know if someone unsavory types did sneak past in this tunnel, she had some form of defense waiting... The Waterfall did empty into the outside of the Abyss Pool, after all.

Fran's door looked at her. The line between the sides of the door cut down the middle of a menacing boar, with the tusks acting as curved handles to push the door open. On top, Fran's visage stared down, gleaming orange gems for eyes.

The door was made of some dark metal and felt hot to the touch. The Greater Mushy seemed to move closer to it and enjoyed the heat. Delta moved through the door and stood in the now much-improved Boss Room.

All around her were rows of actual carved stone seats. There are slight stairs that make reaching the top easier. The whitish sand looked firmer, less likely to be kicked up if moved through.

Delta willed the room to work, and from the door, she had just entered, two torches in stone pillars burst into light, then another two on either side of the room, then again until the two torches standing on either side of Fran's gate lit up.

The crisscrossing metal gate lifted slowly, creaking like a coming warning. Delta was impressed at the ominous image as a stone boar statue above the door lit two hidden torches in its eye sockets, making it look demonic.

Fran walked out with Bacon at his side.

Delta's heart lit up at his unharmed state.

Fran grinned as Bacon happily kicked some sand up in a playful manner. The pig zoomed off as if high on sugar.

"Mother, this room is great! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it!" Fran began, and Delta just rubbed the back of her head as her cheeks went pink.

"It was nothing. You deserved it after how well you did!" Delta praised, and Fran crossed his arms to look away.

"I lost... but I do not regret it. Will you let me fight again?" He asked with such hope that Delta felt her heart hurt a little.

"Sure. Anyone can challenge you, after all. Just don't go overboard and become bloodthirsty!" She warned. Fran rolled his eyes, but his grin grew.

"I need to practice my entrance. Cram will be spreading my legend! Many people will come, and I can't wait to send them scampering!" He cackled. Delta blamed Nu for the Goblin's evil laugh. It just seemed something Nu would encourage.

"I'll be back later. I'm glad you're alive." Delta called, and Fran looked confused.

"I'd never die unless you die! Which will never happen because I will guard you!" Fran laughed merrily, and Delta smiled as she left the room to pause at the Goblin Camp. Numb and Billy were stacking pots as Mr. Mushy happily sat listening to Cois wax his love for the eternal fire.

Odd fellows, but Delta loved them all.

---

[I have a suggestion if you would hear it.]

---

Delta jumped but turned to see Nu hovering near a Goblin hut that was neatly pushed back against the wall.

"You have my attention, number two." Delta joked, and Nu ignored her timely reference and opened a map he drew himself. It looked identical to the current layout Delta had except for one corridor.

It connected the back of the Store Room to the Goblin Camp.

"Seems nice but kinda defeats the purpose of the other rooms." Delta pointed out, and Nu made a quick adjustment.

Writing next to the path was big, bold letters.

---

SECRET PASSAGE

---

"Oh, that makes sense, but how do we make a secret passage?" Delta wondered, and Nu made a noise that sounded like a small horn.

---

[I expect that you only need to try it for an option to appear. Simply design with the idea of 'secret.' I'd do it myself, but I feel...unwell when I try to go near the Room Construction Options. I feel like this is borderline usurping your position, and I do not want to see what would happen if I pursued it. I took a look, and I feel like you should upgrade the Store Room to make this work better.]

---

Delta looked at Nu with concern but didn't voice them when Nu was in building mode. He would just get irritated.

"Oki Doki. Later, guys." She waved to the Monsters, who all called back in various ways. A quick jaunt later, and she stood in her somewhat cluttered Store Room.

---

Store Room Upgrades:

 - Upgrade the size of the room to double the size without disturbing the space of the Dungeon. 20 DP.

 - Allow all containers to be repaired when the Dungeon is empty if not stolen. 15 DP.

 - Upgrade the walls to be more solid and respectable. Solid wood panels. 20 DP.

 - Increase the amount of Mana gained by the Mana Vent. 70 DP.

---

It was a decent selection. Delta guessed she hadn't really done too much with the room for it to be offering many options, but Delta visibly winced at the Mana Vent Upgrade.

That was... more DP than she was willing to pay right now. If it gave her just a measly 1 Mana for the Upgrade... Delta shivered and pushed that thought away. No gambling on Upgrades for the foreseen future...

Delta tried to stay firm on that decision.

She picked the wall upgrade for now as it would work better with Nu's plan.

All around, the loose-packed dirt and loose boards shimmer and grow. Solid wood panels and proper wooden planks now formed the wall and floor. It looked really nice, and Delta beamed.

She made a corridor that bent into an L-shape and connected the Goblin Room to the Store Room. The exposed dirt tunnel made the Store Room look odd, so she opened the Menu again.

"Secret... disguised...hidden...uh... false wall... don't-let-anyone-see-this!" Delta chanted, and the Menu appeared.

---

Store Room Upgrades:

 - Upgrade the size of the room to double the size without disturbing the space of the Dungeon. 20 DP.

 - Allow all containers to be repaired when the Dungeon is empty if not stolen. 15 DP.

 - Increase the amount of Mana gained by the Mana Vent. 70 DP.

 - Place a fake wall over the corridor. It can be opened by setting a trigger. 15 DP.

---

Delta jumped, cheering at her apparent mastery of the System.

She purchased it, and a wall that was a perfect replicate of the rest appeared. Delta saw a new screen appear.

---

Choose opening method: ____

---

Delta thought about it and then summoned Nu.

"It's all your idea, so you should get to choose!" Delta grinned. Nu was quiet for a moment.

---

[Thank you. It...well, I shall accept this task. Special torch on the wall is silly. Simply pushing it will reveal it to far too many people. I think... we should set the trigger as a simple knock and password. It has no actual defenses. Someone can break in if they wish. For now, knock once and say 'Mother Delta.' No person will say it, only the Monsters.]

---

Delta blinked at the request, and the screen flashed as it accepted the trigger.

She moved through it and saw a similar door on the other side. This one was disguised as the rough stone wall of the Goblin Hut.

"Must be the same opening trigger." She mused and invited Billy over.

Given him clear instructions, Billy knocked and spoke the password.

The fake wall swung open silently. There was a pause, and Cois whooped with excitement as he no longer had to worry about the Mud Room.

The tunnel was smooth, but Delta noticed there was a little nub that formed near the middle, an almost turn-off. Delta guessed she hadn't focused enough when forming the tunnel. She eyed the space and wondered what to do with it.

"Kinda lonely in here. I doubt anyone would want to be in here..." Delta mused, then felt a tug.

She turned and followed it to see the Greater Mushy coiled up and waiting. It looked like it had packed its life together and was waiting for some cab to take it to the airport.

It tugged again, and Delta eyed it.

"You want to go... into the tunnel?" She tried, and the Mushy's eyes glowed red. It seemed to relish the idea of isolation or possibly just peace and quiet.

"What would you do in there?" She wondered. Greater Mushy put a few stones down and tapped them, making quiet thudding noises.

It would entertain itself. It would tap rocks or make music.

Delta guessed that was all the reason it needed. She spent some Mana to lift the monster and send it into the passage.

It fits snugly into the little nub.

Delta was glad to see it stretch out and explore its new surroundings.

She eyed the tiny rocks and objects it used to make music. She felt like she was a bad caretaker. She focused and created a set of drums, then a small copper harp with thin wire. It wasn't tuned and sounded a little rough, but Delta wondered if she could... ask Ruli to get her a piano.

The plant took some tentative smacks on the drum and froze at the clear banging noise. It hit again, and one vine played across the harps.

It was definitely rough, but the Mushy seemed to shiver.

Delta smiled and walked away. The secret passage closed, and once it did. The sounds of drums echoed throughout the Store Room and Goblin Camp.

The sound traveled and met in the Pond Room.

It sounded like a war drum, and the Spiders all raised two legs and did their ceremonial war dance, and the Goblins looked relaxed.

Fran roared and yelled for more as he practiced his lance jabs.

Delta could only smile sheepishly at Nu's disapproving box.

"It's just a drum. It won't be too bad!" She promised, and Nu only moved closer to her face.

---

[Gamble. Giant Worm. You. Screaming.]

---

Delta made a face and stubbornly enjoyed the drumming.

She was sure. Absolutely sure that the drumming and music were just harmless fun.

All around the Dungeon, the mushrooms perked up as if called.

The Lumen Mushrooms glowed slightly brighter. The Edible Mushrooms looked fresher. The Gutrot curled and looked nasty.

Deep down on the second floor, the Black Bloodcurdling Mushrooms seemed to... dance.

This is not my work but another Author’s. I just found this novel unique, fascinating, and splendid. I had a perpetual smile and often laughed while reading this novel. It needs more recognition, so I decided to edit it for any mistakes and post it here on WebNovel. The Author does post on RR and a forum website called Space Battle, so check it out if you’re interested. If you're actually spending time reading this note of mine, then I hope you had an enjoyable time reading the novel. If you really enjoyed the novel and would like to support the Author (Not Me!111!1!!!), I’m also gonna include his Patreon and PayPal link.

Author's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3031332

Author's PayPal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ConnerStewart

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