Blood Lust

Pain thundered through Hope's head. The room spun as her vision blurred. She clambered off the bed, panting heavily as if she'd run a mile in a minute. Hungry, so hungry. 

Starving.

Hope crossed the room length and rifled through all the food available in the infirmary, the pain progressively becoming more severe. 

Ignoring the warnings she'd been given, Hope left the hospital wing, walking with clumsy steps. Far too past her pain to recognize she was even being loud. The world was like a fun-house mirror, making it blurry yet painfully too detailed. She could feel each creak and shuffle of the castle, the paintings breathing far too loud.

"Shut up!" Hope shouted into nothing, holding her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Shut up. Just shut up," she said more quietly as she walked. She followed the same path they'd taken to the Great Hall the last few days.

When she entered the Great Hall, it was completely empty. The moon casts what would be a comforting glow if not for the circumstances on the vacant tables. Hope looked around desperately. Where would the kitchens be?

She continued to wander, letting her instincts guide her by smell, but the longer she walked halls and climbed stairs, the more irritable she became.

It took what felt like ages before she caught the scent of something that made her stop in her tracks. Looking around herself but saw nothing. Snarling in irritation, she stalked further along the halls, glowering at the paintings where the subjects cowered away from her. 

Hope burst into a room and peered around, but nothing could be there for her to eat. It was another classroom; from its appearance, it was the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. The chalkboard at the front of the room had those words written in white chalk.

Turning around to go back the way she'd come, Hope jumped back with a snarled hiss. Her eyes glowed amber as she faced Albus Dumbledore, whom she'd never heard enter behind her.

"Hope," he started, blue eyes guarded as he held his wand firmly at this side but ready to lift all the same, "I'm under the impression you've been out of sorts."

Her hands quickly covered her ears, his voice like nails on a chalkboard inside her head.

"Stop. Talking." She hissed as something sharp threatened to rip through her sensitive gum tissue.

Albus was silent, though his eyes never broke from her. She hadn't even realized he'd closed and locked the door until there was a bang against it.

"What's going on?" Newt shouted in a panic.

Hope instinctually ran for the door, but Albus stepped to the side. Blocking her path, he raised his wand.

They stared at each other for what seemed the longest minute in history.

"Are you going to kill me?" She finally asked, voice small. Afraid.

Albus slowly shook his head. "Certainly not, but I cannot help you if you do not tell me the problem."

"I…" she started, tears rolling down her cheeks again. I'm so…hungry," she finally managed to say through a thick voice, "It…hurts."

"What hurts?"

"Everything!" 

Hope held her jaw and pinched her eyes closed. It wasn't like when she was shifting into a wolf. This… somehow was worse. At least when she was turning into a wolf, it was a continued action, knowing where it led. This was not like that. She felt her control slipping through the cracks and didn't know what would happen if she lost all of it.

"Okay," he said, his voice gentle, "Let me help you, Hope. Tell me what you need."

What she needed. She looked at Dumbledore with wet eyes.

"I don't want it."

"But you need it," his eyes turned stern, "things can continue as they were if you can learn to control that need, but they will not if you refuse to try."

"Try what?"

"You know what."

Hope stared at him, anger starting to burn through her. "You know."

"I had suspicions but didn't know for certain until now."

The anger amplified to rage. "So you realized something about me and decided I shouldn't know? You don't get to make that choice for me! I…I went into a village surrounded by people. What if I'd killed someone? What if I'd killed Newt?!"

Newt banged on the door again, but they both pretended he wasn't there.

"I had no way of confirming, and I did not want to frighten you with the prospect of it. I…worried you weren't yet in the state of mind to accept it."

It was a harsh truth. One Hope wasn't ready for even now.

"Whether you think I'm ready to handle it or not, I have the right to know."

"I agree," Albus nodded, slowly putting his wand into his pocket, "We can find common ground here. I will offer my insights so long as you offer your own. I am not your enemy, nor do I ever wish to be. Now that we are confirmed with what you need…" he carefully walked toward a corner of the classroom, careful not to turn his back too much toward her, and picked up what looked to be a mason jar.

The liquid inside sloshed, staining the glass with a film of red. As Albus twisted the lid, breaking the seal was all it took for the aroma to fill the room.

Hope moved so fast to the cabinet he stood at that she didn't even realize what she was doing until her back was against the opposite wall. Albus' wand raised at her. His magic kept her secured against the flat surface.

Gasping softly, she realized she could barely wriggle her fingers and toes. Everything else was completely immobile. If Dumbledore did want to kill her, he could do so easily.

"You will have control," he said, voice firm as he stared her down, "control is the only way you'll be allowed to stay at Hogwarts."

Taking a steadying breath, she swallowed hard and nodded. 

Control.

She breathed in and breathed out, trying to calm her heart rate.

"You've been deprived of blood for a long time, I imagine. The sudden stress and change in diet seemed to start your need for it. Naturally, I imagine your need is a bit different from the average vampire, but I will be here to help you." He cast a glance at her. "So long as you let me."

He walked toward her, holding a cup halfway filled with blood from the jar. Hope's jaw ached, her pulse so loud in her ears. The only thing that mattered now was what was in that cup.

"Hope," his voice brought her back, and she looked up at him, eyes gold- dark veins running beneath, "I'm going to release you. You're going to sit in a chair and drink. You will control yourself."

Hope was beginning to wonder if he was saying this, not for the sake of himself, but for her. Like he genuinely didn't want to send her away from Hogwarts.

Nodding slowly, she silently agreed. She felt the invisible binds evaporate and dropped down to her feet again. She ground her teeth, ignoring her horrible impulse to down the cup in one ravenous gulp, and walked toward the chair he gestured to. They sat down, and Hope raised the cup to her lips, hesitant at first, afraid she would lose control after one taste, but the need was far too great.

She swallowed just a tiny amount, and the ripping that had threatened her gums earlier finally happened. Hope gasped in pain, but it was over just as quickly as the pain started. Now, however, she could feel sharp fangs protruding from her gums. 

The cabinet next to them could show their reflections well enough, and when she bared her teeth at them, she could see not two, like the sketchings of vampires illustrated, but six full fangs. Four on top, two on the bottom.

She stared at them, blinking as if they might go away if she willed it, and, to her surprise, they did. 

Looking back at Albus, he seemed just as surprised but was smiling. It appeared she'd passed his test for self-control.

"Part wolf. Part vampire." He murmured, rubbing his beard thoughtfully as he observed her drink the remainder of the blood from the cup. 

The headache disappeared almost instantly. Hope's stomach stopped screaming. Her gums were no longer on fire.

Hope sighed softly in relief.

"Do you feel better?" He asked gently.

She nodded and frowned, shame flushing up her neck. "I'm sorry for…being so angry."

"Anger, as any emotion, is nothing to be sorry for. Poor judgment on my part led to this; I apologize for not trusting your resilience…" he smiled softly. "Now we know something of critical value that you'll require. I'll send more to your room as soon as possible."

"My room?" she asked, remembering what Madam Florence had mentioned earlier.

Albus nodded with a smile. "Newt can take you there now. I imagine he's very curious and quite worried. He's still standing just outside the doors," he added with a whisper and a knowing smile.

Biting her lip, she nodded, fighting a smile as she stood. "Thanks. You know, for not…killing me." If he had, could she really blame him? She'd been a raging lunatic for a moment.

With a chuckle, he stayed where he was as if he intended to ponder a while more. "Goodnight, Hope. Sleep well."

Hope nodded and departed, finding Newt pacing the hallway. He stopped when he saw her, quickly moving to her. His wild eyes were confused and filled with worry.

"What happened? Are you alright? I heard you scream…"

"I'm alright," she nodded, taking his hands, "I'll tell you everything in my room."

Newt took a long, slow breath before nodding and then smiling. "Your room, yes. You're going to love it." Holding her hand, he guided her back up the hallway where the paintings were now leering at her apprehensively. Newt's presence carefully smoothed the guilt and fear she felt beginning to overwhelm her.

She tried to convince herself that it would be okay as they climbed a flight of stairs and turned a corner.

It'll be okay.

It had to be.