When it Began

Next morning, Shiva and I detoured and waited for Dev on his way to his school. Usually, we waited for him to pass my gate, but today we left a bit early. A broad smile spread across his face the moment he saw us. He was riding alongside someone. I stole a quick glance at his companion, and I was sure that this boy had never been to his window. So far I had seen three of his friends next to him, but he was not one of them. He had a dark complexion and an oval face. He looked very friendly, but given that my attention was all for Dev, I chose to ignore him.

Gingerly, Dev stopped in front of me. “I was wondering where you went this morning.” He was smiling ear-to-ear. I just blushed. I wanted to say so many things, but nothing came out. Smitten under his gaze, I turned bright red and fixated on my shoes. In all my excitement for his birthday, I had forgotten to polish them. I felt conscious. Shiva elbowed me and pointed at my bag.

Slowly, I pulled out his gift and offered it to him with trembling hands.

“What is this?” he questioned. His tone made me look up; he was serious but was smiling. Thank God!

“A gift for you.” Shiva helped me.

“Doesn’t your friend have a voice? I have never heard your voice; speak something at least.” He tilted his head and gave me his most exotic smile. I looked at him with admiration for a few moments, open-mouthed, and then went back to staring at my dirty, unpolished shoes. “At least wish me happy birthday,” he insisted, taking a step closer to me. I felt my heartbeat rise at his growing proximity. Instinctively, I stepped back.

“Ha…” I started but stopped again. Shiva gently placed her hand on my shoulder in encouragement. “Happy birthday,” I whispered.

“Haaiyyyeeeeeeeeeeee,” he exclaimed, and I practically jumped. My heart skipped multiple beats at once. He held out his hand for me to shake. Nervous, I took it. Sparks erupted from his fingers and tickled me sensuously.

“Thanks for making my birthday the most special one. You have the most beautiful voice, Ishana,” he spoke, holding my hand. The way he spoke my name in his beautiful voice, I felt that finally my name had a meaning and purpose. He gazed in my eyes with such depths that all I wanted to do was run and hide my face in his chest. I controlled my emotions.

“And thanks for lighting that candle at midnight. You were the first one to wish me, do you know that?” He spoke my heart’s desire and a joyful smile appeared on my face. I had never been so happy before.

“Ahem-ahem!” Shiva cleared her throat. “We are late for school, by the way, so we should get going,” she finished, pulling my hand from his. Reluctantly, he let go of my hand. Suddenly, I felt incomplete.

“By the way, this is my friend, Sarv-naash,” he introduced his friend. I just gawked. What kind of a name was that?

“It’s Sarv, actually,” his friend spoke, offering me his hand. I took it without hesitation, Dev’s eyebrows shot up immediately. “Nice meeting you.” We smiled at each other.

“O-kay.” This time Dev pulled back Sarv’s hand. Was he jealous? The thought made me feel special.

“I’ll see you later then.” Dev smiled as he hopped on his bicycle. My eyes fell on his charismatic, shining, black Hero cycle, and I suddenly felt so diminished. What I was riding was nothing but scrap in his comparison – an old, second-hand, rusted squeaky cycle. I didn’t even know the brand of it!

I sighed as I looked at him. He stopped at the turn to look back, and I waved. He blew a flying kiss, I almost misbalanced, and he rode away – laughing!

And so it began…

*

Present Day in the Bar

“Whaattt?” Ravi exclaimed and brought Ishana back to the reality. She was surprised at herself, because in the moment, she was smiling. Ravi found her story most intriguing.

“You, the great – the super-confident – the hero of so many troubled women, were not even able to wish Dev a happy birthday?” He was shocked. Ishana nodded, and he just laughed.

“Wow! Who could have known,” he added thoughtfully and emptied his glass. Ishana realized that all the while she was speaking, neither she had taken a sip, nor she had smoked. She was too lost in her past.

“By the way, how did this start? I mean with Dev.” He was curious.

“As you may have realized, I was way too miserable in my own house,” she sighed. He nodded, and she saw sympathy for the sixteen-year-old Ishana in his eyes. “You see, my mother was not a good woman, and she harassed me every day. And the funniest part was, she did all this right under the nose of my father and brother. My father was completely clueless, and as for my brother, he only knew that my mother often yelled at me. Her beating was a secret, to which only I had the pleasure.” She laughed mockingly as she continued, “I was looking for solace, some way to escape my reality, and one fine day, I saw this boy looking at me. I started noticing him every day and how he paid attention to me. Something I never got in my own house. So yeah, I fell for him. For the attention he gave me. And over time, I realized it was mutual. It didn’t matter to me that I never talked to him, what mattered to me was that he was there for me, every day! You know what the beauty of mutual love is?” she paused and Ravi just looked vacantly at her. “Mutual love has no bounds; it only deepens with every smile.” Her words left Ravi clueless as to how he should react. Ravi’s late mother was a bit harsh, but she was a kind woman. She was brutal towards others, but she loved him deeply. He simply couldn’t believe that somebody’s own mother could be so ruthless and savage.

“You loved Dev deeply, didn’t you?” he focused on Ishana again. “He was a very lucky guy.” His declaration made her laugh.

“Yeah, he was!” She was guffawing now. He sat confused. He couldn’t understand the sarcasm that laced her laugh. Yes, it was just the beginning of their relationship, but Ravi felt it was a beautiful and romantic start.

She was still laughing, and he saw her façade break. He saw a deep sadness etch on her face, and her eyes filled with tears. “Hey, are you okay?” The sudden change in her expressions concerned him. She wiped her tears and took another puff.

“Wanna know what happened next?” she offered. He nodded. “So where were we? Ah, his birthday, our first meeting!” and she continued.

*

School Life – Year 2000

His birthday was the beginning of what I called my epic love story. That day, he waited for me outside my school; somehow he had managed to skip last period.

“I couldn’t keep you out of my mind the whole day,” were his words as soon as Shiva and I approached him. His friend didn’t accompany him this time. I was on the ninth cloud; he was there for me. I wanted to tell him that I too thought about him the whole day, but was speechless, again!

That day I had spent every second of the first two periods worrying about how I wasn’t able to talk to him. My worries and anxiety irritated Shiva, so she proposed a solution for my temporary ‘mute’ problem. “Maybe you can write him letters,” she had suggested, and I had spent the remaining periods writing the most romantic letter –or what I thought as romance and true love.

“Still can’t talk to me?” he was disappointed. I just shook my head.

“Too bad, I hope you open up soon,” he sighed as he hopped on his bicycle. We rode together in silence till the point I thought we were safe from my mother’s prying eyes.

“I will see you later then,” he spoke, placing his hand on the handle of my cycle. I suspected he was aiming to grab my hand, but I felt exposed. We were in our neighborhood and what if someone saw us? I looked around and quickly handed him the letter before parting ways.

It read:

Mere un-kahe shabdon pe apna waqt zaya na karna… ye meri aakhen hain jo mere ishq ki dastan bayaan karti hain.

[Don't waste your time on my unsaid words... it is my eyes, that reflect the love it holds for you]

My dearest Dev, wishing you a very happy birthday.

I have no words to express what today means to me. After all, it’s your birthday and also the day we first interacted. I will remember and cherish it forever. This morning I wanted to say so much to you, but I was at a loss for words. Guess I am way too smitten with you. Even now, as I write this letter, I am blushing and Shiva is giving me all weird glances.

I wanted to tell you how seeing you first thing in the morning and last thing every night means everything to me. Ever since I have realized the bond between us, I have found a new purpose in life. Though we live apart, my heart now beats only for you. Now, I cannot even imagine a day when I won’t be able to see you. Each moment when you are not in front of my eyes, I miss you and dream only about you. I sincerely hope you replicate these feelings.

Also, meeting you today felt like an addiction and now I want more and more every day. I know changing schools is not a possibility and neither is meeting every day after school (I have to be home on time always), so I have a proposal. I plan to join Mr. Khanna’s coaching for Science from next week. Would you be keen to join with me? This way we can meet every day, chat and spend some time together. Please let me know.

Happy birthday again. Hope to meet again and soon.

Yours.

I.

That day, after handing over the letter, I waited the whole day for some signal as a ‘yes’, but nothing came from his side. He even stayed away from his window for the better part of the day. Shiva suspected that it was because of his birthday; he must be celebrating. But to me, it was ominous. What if he felt offended by my words or letter? What if he thought I was forcing myself on him? What if he decided to break up? I had slept rather badly that night, but the next morning came with a huge surprise. Don’t know how or when he managed, but when I went outside to unchain my bicycle to leave for school, I found a small note with a few words that took my heart away. Though it was a poorly composed poem, it still meant everything to me.

It read:

Maana apki aakhon me humare ishq ki daastaan basi hai, par kya kare humara dil na-samajh hai, isko to apke meethe bol se hi sukoon milta hai.

[I know our love is reflecting in your eyes, but my heart is dying to hear your words]

Yes for coaching.

And Yours Too,

D.