The Final Refuge....

It has been four agonizing days since my beloved mother passed away, and three long days since my father returned to the kingdom. During this time, he has been secluded, avoiding any contact with me. Gone are the mornings when he used to serenade me with my name, his voice a comforting melody. Now, there is only silence. I understand that he is grieving the loss of his first wife, but it pains me to see him disregard the birth of his second daughter. She is a gentle soul, undeserving of such a tumultuous world. Determined to find him and seek answers, I whisper to myself, "I must confront him."

Carefully, I slip out of bed, ensuring not to disturb my slumbering sister. I have refused to let the maid take her last night, preferring to be by her side as much as possible. With quiet footsteps, I make my way out and head to the maid's room, avoiding any disruptions.

Approaching Fiki's door, I notice that she is already unlocking the latches, indicating that she had heard my footsteps from down the passage. This simple act reassures me of her capability to care for my baby sister, and I feel a growing sense of trust towards her.

"I'm heading to the throne room," I explain, "As I know my father rises early, I deduce that he is not in his quarters, he might seek solace there in his early morning contemplation". She nods in understanding as I express my trust in her ability to take care of my baby sister. "I know you'll take care of her. I'll be back soon," I assure her before turning and making my way out of the passage.

Approaching the throne room, I find two guards which indicates that he's in there, "His Highness is not here, my princess." Doubt lingers in their voices, but I refuse to be deceived. They are trained to carry out unimaginable tasks. Determined, I push past them, only to discover an empty throne room. "We spoke the truth, princess. We have not seen His Highness for two days," they explain, their voices filled with surprise. Disheartened by this revelation, I proceed silently, pondering where he could be.

There is only one place left in my mind; his quarters. The thought of visiting the quarters of the younger queen is unbearable, for she has not shown herself since my mother's passing. Such pain cannot be kept hidden.

As I enter the quarters, a profound silence engulfs the space. There are no maids, no guards, no one. My father must have dismissed them all, desiring solitude. I never imagined my mother's death would affect him so profoundly, he appeared strong, resilient, and brave. I recall Iya Oba's tales of him drinking, chatting, and laughing with princes from neighboring kingdoms when his brother passed away. Perhaps he had simply masked his grief to maintain an image of strength suitable for ruling the kingdom, just so he won't be seen as a weak king.

I find him lying in a dark corner of his chambers, untouched candles and torches surrounding him. "Who's there?" he questions, and I remain silent. "Go away, or I will have you thrown into the cages with the slaves," he threatens. "It's me, Father," I reply sharply. "Faderera! Is that you?" he calls out, his voice filled with surprise. "Yes, Father, it's me," I respond, opening the windows to let in some light. For a moment, he remains motionless, but eventually rises and walks toward me.

He is dressed only in his ÀGBÀDÁ, just as it must have been when he returned. It seems he has not bathed in days, and his breath carries an unpleasant odor. So much has changed in less than a week. He used to be vibrant and joyful to be around, but now, he is just a shattered reflection of myself.

"Faderera, where have you been all this while?" he inquires, his words feeling like a cruel jest. How could he ask me such a question at time? He should be asking about the little child, his own flesh and blood. "How about 'oh, I'm so sorry Faderera, for not'" I'm not able to finish as he cuts in, "I was told that you were training while I was away. Is that true?" He inquires, "What?" I reply in disbelief my voice filled with suprise. "I asked you a question. How true is it?" he repeats, his tone slightly harsh.

"I can't believe you're asking me this, Father. Mother had a baby, did you search for her? Did you even care to ask about her?" I ask, my voice choked with tears. "Her? A female child? The child my wife died giving birth to? No, I want nothing to do with her, she is not mine," he coldly retorts, moving to close one of the windows. "I don't need that light, my darkness is within, the light of my life is gone, thanks to that evil child. I will never forgive her for that," he adds, while I remain silent, my heart shattered.

He approaches me, studying me carefully. "I cannot believe you disobeyed my orders and defied the traditions of this kingdom. You disregarded all my wishes and trained to become a warrior. What makes you think the kingdom needs a female warrior? Look at you; you're just a princess, not a prince. Don't let your growth deceive you," he says, his voice filled with scorn. He lets out a loud sigh, and I meet his gaze with determination.

"I look at you, and all I see is a weak and confused man," I say, my voice filled with a mixture of sadness and determination. "I don't care what you say about me or my baby sister. However, I am grateful that she never had the misfortune of knowing you as her father. A peaceful soul like hers doesn't deserve a man like you."

As he raises his hands, a tremor runs through me, but he unexpectedly draws back. Gathering my courage, I raise my head and continue, my voice unwavering despite the pain in my heart. "I will protect and fight for her, and for everything I hold dear in this kingdom, even if it means going against your wishes. I will not let my mother's death be in vain."

Staggering backward, he stares at me, his eyes reflecting a mix of anger, grief, and something else I can't quite decipher. Then, to my surprise, his expression softens, and he takes a tentative step forward.

"You are your mother's daughter," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "She was strong-willed and determined, just like you are right now. I may not understand your choices, but I cannot deny the fire in your eyes. Perhaps... perhaps there is more to you than I thought."

Tears stream down my face as I move closer to him. "Father, please, let us find a way to heal together. The kingdom needs us both. And the baby... she needs her father."

He looks at me, a mix of pain and longing evident in his eyes. "I don't think I can, Faderera. Losing your mother has changed me in ways I cannot explain. But I promise you this: I will not stand in your way. Do what you think is right for the kingdom, but remember that every choice has consequences."

His words remind me of Emiran, the wise master who often spoke of the delicate balance of choices. I nod, acknowledging that our relationship has been forever altered. I turn away, despite his persistent calls for me to stay. I can no longer remain; my mind is resolute. With conviction, I make my way directly back to my room at the quarters.

I unhook my bow from the wall and sling it over my shoulder, retrieving my quiver from the basket. Securing it firmly across my chest, I grasp my spear, which I had discreetly stowed behind the door. With resolve, I step out of the room and into the dimly lit passage.

As I make my way, Fiki emerges from her room, cradling Iyewande in her hands. I finally bestow upon her the name I have chosen, knowing that it will now be her true name, shared beyond just the two of us. She is now my responsibility. Iya Oba cannot always be here due to her weak knees, so I must learn to navigate this journey on my own.

"Is she asleep?" I inquire, drawing closer to admire the serenity and beauty of the slumbering child. I cannot help but express my love for her through a tender kiss. "Please take good care of her," I implore Fiki, my voice filled with a mixture of trust and longing.

"Wait, Princess," she calls out, her voice filled with warmth. "I want you to know that I believe in you, in your courage and strength. Please never give up." Her smile radiates genuine support, and for the first time in a while, someone truly sees me. It means the world to me, I respond with a heartfelt smile of my own. With renewed determination, I leave the quarters, my mind fortified and my heart brimming with hope.

I head directly towards the forest, without the need to search for my master. Now that I understand that I can simply call upon him and share my thoughts from anywhere, for he is always listening. That's what he said. Therefore, I wait until I reach the edge of the forest before producing the double bangs, even though I still do not fully comprehend their meaning. I have faith that he will understand the message I am conveying.