‘The voice’

It was her picture. She was lying on the ground with her body covered in mud and blood. Her face was not visible, but the bruises on her arms were. There were people gathered around her; she looked like a dead body in that picture. It was impossible for me to sleep after seeing that ghastly image. I still tried to sleep while putting my phone aside. But the view of that image was all over in front of my eyes. I wanted to talk to her again. I wanted to scold her, not for sending that picture to me, but for being in it. At the same time, I wanted to be with her, to hug her, to take care of her. I was falling for her despite her being a bit weird. I tried to put those thoughts aside and started fighting for some sleep, but her thoughts were keeping my mind rather much occupied. In the end, I gave up. I lay down still on my bed while looking at nothing in particular. After some time, I got up when I saw sunlight started appearing through the window. Even though I was not a morning person, I yet thought of going for a morning walk. I never could jeopardize my sleep for anything, especially one in the morning to go out for a walk, but that day was an unusual, an exception. I got up from bed, put on my tracksuit, and went downstairs. Mom was still sleeping so; I gently opened the front door and went outside.

The first breeze of that chilly morning made me quiver deep inside. I considered going back inside the house, but I didn’t want to do the same fight again with my sleep as well as her thoughts, so I started walking. It was a little foggy outside, I couldn’t see anyone in the street, not because of the fog, but no one was there, except me. I started walking rapidly to create some heat in my body, but it wasn’t helping much. I stopped by the park and that too was empty. I thought to go inside but changed my mind for two reasons; first, the grass seemed quite moist in there, and second I forgot to wear shoes. I decided to remain only on the paved road and started walking toward the market. I reached the spot where I was going to hit by the car yesterday. I still couldn’t believe no one did see anything. I stood there for a few minutes to recall if I had missed something during that incident; everything was quite apparent, but still, nothing was making any sense. Inside the house, her thoughts were messing with my mind, and outside, those were of that incident. I wanted to run like a madman if that could help me a bit; at the same time, I wanted to sit down too. I didn't know what exactly did I desire at that moment, but it was making me feel weird.

Then all of a sudden, I started craving tea. Usually, I don’t drink tea, but at that moment, I wished to have one cup of it. I went to the market to see if there was any tea stall open, there was none. I started shivering too, so I decided to go back and make one for myself at home. By the time I reached home, mom was already up and in the kitchen making tea for her. She saw me entering the door and got surprised to see me up that early as she also knew that I was too lazy to go for a morning walk.

“I just wanted to have some fresh air,” I told her even before she could ask me anything as I perceived what she was going to ask.

“So did you have it, the fresh air?” she smiled and asked.

“It is quite chilling outside, so is the air. I couldn’t inhale much; it was giving me shiver,” I replied while quivering. She laughed and went back to the kitchen.

“Mom, if you are making tea, can you please make me one cup too?” I asked while sitting on the sofa.

“First walk and now tea; is everything alright with you, Sid?” she asked while coming out of the kitchen.

“It is just a tea, mom,” I said.

“Okay, I am preparing for myself; I will make for you too,” she said and again went into the kitchen. She was not satisfied with my answer, but she didn’t say anything more. After a few minutes, she brought two cups, handed me one, and sat with the other one in front of me. I took the first sip of the tea and again shivered, not that the tea was cold; it was hot enough to burn my tongue, but my body was quite cold, and it was not ready to bear that hotness. After a few sips, my body started getting comfortable, and I began enjoying the tea.

“Mrs. Verma has asked again for your help to teach her son,” she tried to start the conversation, “she was asking for quite some time,” she said. My mom didn’t have any idea that it was not the right time to have such a conversation.

“I would see if I get any spare time for him,” I replied calmly.

“She knows that you are free these days because of your vacations,” she said.

“Yes, and so what? I am not obliged to teach her son. It’s my choice how and where I want to spend my free time,” I was less patient this time while replying to her. I was getting irritated. That was not the conversation I expected or wanted to have at the start of my day, particularly when I was not in the right state of mind. But my mom didn’t know that, and it was wrong of me to show such behavior to her. It was not her fault that I was out of my mind and out of my sleep. I knew the more time I would spend there, the more I would get frustrated and ultimately would end up hurting her.

“Don’t worry; I would find some time to teach him,” I said calmly. I didn’t want to make her more worried about my odd behavior.

“I am going to take some more sleep now,” I said as if I had slept during the night. She didn’t say anything, and I came back to my room. Sleep was just an excuse; it was nowhere near my eyes. I checked the time on my phone; it was showing eighteen minutes past six a.m. I wanted to fill in my time but was not in the mood to do anything specific. I didn’t want to read the book or play the game on my phone, not even on my computer. I was not in the mood to sleep too, but I wanted to do one thing which I was inevitable about; I wanted to talk to her. I thought to call her, but it didn’t seem right, so I thought a lot, then I thought some more, and then I called her. No one picked the call after several rings. I was going to disconnect it when she picked up the phone, or I thought she picked it up.

“Hello,” I said. She didn’t say anything. She might be in her sleep, I thought, and said hello again.

“Hello,” I heard the voice on the other side, but it was not of her, it was of a guy.