The Laments of a Guilty Soul Eater

Kai blinked as he was enveloped by blinding light, and then darkness.

Down, down, down.

Falling.

The darkness was infinite, unyielding, unending, and oppressive.

His name… was Kai?

The omnipresent darkness weighed down on his soul.

He struggled to remember his past, struggled to hold onto his name.

The darkness weighed down on the core of his being. Suffocating him. He tried to scream, yet could not.

What was his name again?

He had fallen into this darkness ages ago, or was it even yesterday? He couldn't seem to remember how much time had passed.

His name seemed to be at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't not remember. Time had passed endlessly. There was no beginning, and there was no end. There was only darkness.

And slowly… he faded away into the black.

The unending.

Unyielding.

Oppressive.

Black.

Unending.

Unyielding.

Oppressive.

Black.

Unending.

Unyielding.…

And hungry….?

Oh. So. Hungry…

And then, after a century of nothing - light.

His hunger took physical form. All of himself came flooding back. A sharp, gnawing hunger, the tremble in his hands, and suddenly, an… ethereal body?

He instinctually floated downwards, towards what he felt would ease his pain. He grew heavy, sluggish. But finally, he remembered. His name… was Kai.

~~~~

Kyle was having a mediocre day. No, not just mediocre. Downright terrible. Even the sandwich served by the cafeteria was worse than normal… which was par for the course given his day so far.

First thing in the morning, before the bell even rang, Becca had dumped him! Not that he really cared; he was already looking for a way to break it to her himself. But the part where SHE didn't want HIM really stung. And to think he'd spent all those hours trying to think of the kindest way to break it to her!

'Why would anyone pass up the opportunity to date ME!?'

He clenched his fists, the tension of his arms reminding him of his impeccable physique.

'I am hot. I am buff. I can deadlift 300lbs. I am worthy of everything the world has to offer me.'

With his daily affirmations finished, he continued on to his 5th hour, Biology, and proceeded to tune out the teacher. After all, he had more important things to think about! Like... uh... football!

His second game of the season was going to be tonight, and of course, he had accepted Becca's offer to drive him. That was just peeeaaachy keen. Of course he had! That's why he was delaying breaking up with her in the first place! Of course! That's why!

}SNAP{

Shards of wood cut into his hand as his pencil snapped. As the pain pulled him out of his thoughts, he barely restrained a cry of anger. Kyle took a deep breath in… breathe out… breathe in… and out… and i-

"Mr. Whitaker, is there something you'd like to add to the class?" The teacher asked, obviously annoyed.

Kyle felt the same nasty, unpleasant feeling continue to build inside him, nearly filling him to the brim before he somehow found the strength to hold back the torrential anger swirling around inside him.

But who knew how long that would last?

Raising his right hand, careful to prevent the blood from dripping onto his clothes, he dug deep inside himself to find his "calm" voice.

"Yes, may I please go to the nurse's office?"

Oblivious to the stares of his classmates, he grabbed his backpack (first with his right hand out of habit, before cursing and switching hands) and stumbled out of the classroom.

Walking through the main office towards the nurse's room, he vaguely heard someone say "second visit of the day, huh?"

Barely registering the sound with ears that felt filled with cotton balls, Kyle shouldered the door to the nurse's office open, which was thankfully left ajar, before taking a seat on the most uncomfortable bed-looking table he'd seen in his life.

He began to put his head in his hands before stopping halfway there, falling backwards onto the barely "padded" surface.

On the way down, a sob escaped his throat, freeing the way for the flood of tears that followed.

~~~~

Logan released his girlfriend from a bear hug and gave her a peck on the cheek as she ran off to cheer practice. "See you at the game tonight, Ashleighe!!"

He smiled to himself as he watched her walking away. 'I am such a lucky man to have a girlfriend who is so sweet, kind, petite, and athletic!'

The sight gave him the courage and resolve needed to walk into what was perhaps the scariest room in the school. The football locker rooms.

If his nose had not already been desensitized, the first thing Logan would've noticed was the overpowering scent of Axe.

Just a couple steps down the hallway, and he would be able to smell sweat if he hadn't already been sticky from gym. Luckily for him, Logan was a member of the football team, and therefore was unable to tell B.O. and Axe body spray apart from regular oxygen.

A few more steps down the hallway, and Logan was finally able to feel the presence of the football team, or more aptly he could feel the bassline of screamingly loud pop music reverberate through his bones.

Entering the dimly lit hallways, he slipped past adolescent men of all shapes and sizes before reaching his locker in the back corner. With a grunt, he muscled open his locker, somehow hearing the familiar rusty hinges screech over the music. Reaching inside, he pulled out his jersey, ignoring the slam of a head into the locker next door.

Some poor newbie was being "welcomed" to the team, most likely not for the first time this season.

Skirting around the chaos of the locker room, Logan finally reached the safer, less crowded benches by the entryway.

'I've gotta swap lockers. Now that I'm on the varsity team, Coach should be fine with it.'

While changing into his uniform, Logan noticed Kyle walk in with an injured hand and his heart dropped.

The star quarterback, the pride of the Mountain View High football team, Kyle Whitaker… INJURED on the day of the game with their rivals!?

This wouldn't have been as big of a problem, but their relief quarterback was sick! And the JV quarterback was hardly good enough to play while the other team had the ball, much less field their own plays!

Logan felt his heart begin to pound.

'We will be such an embarrassment tonight! What will Ashleighe think of me if we lose to those bastards!?'

Reining in his panic, he turned to Kyle with a strained smile and asked

"Ky, you're good to throw at the game tonight, right?? Right!?"

~~~~

Ashleighe watched Kyle masterfully send the ball down the field towards the wide receivers 40 yards down. Aaannnddd… a catch by Logan! She watched him sprint the last 10 yards, scoring a touchdown, finally pulling their team out of a tie.

Motioning to the cheer team, she stepped to the center and readied as the band began to play their fight song, leading the girls in their customary cheer.

The chill of the night breeze kept her cool as she performed a vigorous dance with the other girls. After she signaled a chant for the JV cheer team to do, she had the varsity cheer team huddle up near the edge of the field .

"Alright, guys, it's almost halftime, and we're performing first tonight." Reciting the order of the cheers, and talking over the rough spots in each song, by the time halftime rolled around the team seemed confident and eager to perform.

Ashleighe loved this feeling. The cold night air, contrasted by the hot blood pumping through her veins. The floodlights illuminating the field and hiding the crowd. The constant repetition made perfect from hundreds of hours of practice, all culminating in this moment of adrenaline, routine perfection, and cheers. Smiling up at the audience instead of the brick walls of a gym was the best thing Ashleighe thought she'd ever feel.

By the end of the routine, the breathing of the cheer team could be heard near the edge of the field. With beaming smiles on their faces, they pranced off the field, taking their speaker with them.

By the third quarter, Mountain View High was in the lead, 21-7. But with 10 seconds to go until 4th quarter, disaster struck.

What looked to be the near perfect throw fell apart as Kyle seemed to flinch mid-release. He caught himself from his fall, but the ball was not so lucky.

Flying hardly 10 yards, it was an easy interception for the opposing team, who then sprinted all the way to the end zone, scoring a touchdown.

As the quarter came to a close, Kyle walked to the medical tent instead of the team huddle, a slight red showing through the white bandages covering his dominant hand.

The replacement relief quarterback from the JV team was subpar, and judging by his performance, should not have made the team at all. By the end of the game, Mountain View had lost, the score reading 21-24.

Suddenly, the breeze seemed much colder. Ashleighe pulled on a coat as she went to go find Logan.

~~~~

Laying in bed, still awake, Kyle continued to toss and turn into the night, fighting his feelings of self doubt.

His left hand clenched into a fist, leaving 4 small nail-sized indents behind when he opened it.

In an attempt to let go of his awareness, he tried sleeping in any position he could think of, yet only ended up too warm with the sheets tangled up and constricting his movement.

Rolling out of bed with sheets in tow, he began to rearrange his blankets.

But he never finished.

Instead, he saw a bright light, before all was dark.

Everything was gone - his sight, his hearing, even the unbearable tightness of the sheets wrapping about him. Everything vanished, except for his thoughts.

And so Kyle thought.

And thought.

Long past the end of the night, long past the end of the morrow, Kyle continued to think and then kept on thinking.