0060 The Hardest Decisions

"Madam Odette, this is hard for me to say but… I think it's time I leave."

It hurts to say. It hurts me to see her try and be professional in the face of this decision. She keeps her composure even with just the two of us, "I want to know what motivated this decision."

That is the question I was afraid of but knew it was coming… It took a few days to make this decision myself. I didn't make this decision with a light heart. All because of that one letter. It arrived a week ago. It was unusual. Anne brought it to me stating that I had received mail. It was just a plain white letter with no return address but it had my information on it. It struck me as odd the moment I took it in my paw, almost as though there was malice dripping off of it.

I should have trusted that instinct and ignored it. At the same time, if I had done what I could to protect my peace of mind, I might have done more damage later. The handwriting was unfamiliar to me but it was written with haste. The further into it got, the more I learned that it was written in a rage.

Red,

You may have fooled everyone else but know what you did. I know that it was you that caused his death and I will never forgive you for it. You took what was supposed to be my birthright and now you've taken a piece of my family from me.

Everyone else may praise you for your power but I know you stole it. I plan on taking it back and I will make sure that everyone sees me. I will take EVERYTHING from you. I will take what is mine. And nothing will stop me.

The signature was almost illegible but I could tell who it was from by the tone. My late Uncle Thomas's son Reed wrote this. He's spent his whole life believing and being praised for being the next nine-tailed fox. Like his father, when that changed, things changed. His father cut back but kept pushing his narrative. Reed just shut down. The only characteristic that he believed that he had was taken from him and his life crumbled in an instant.

I'm not surprised that this is the result of that. His father knew where I was. He probably brought Reed out here a couple of times to meet with Madam Odette to get him introduced to her. It was a subject I wanted to ask her about but thought it wouldn't be right. Plus, I imagine that her answer would be something along the lines of "You shouldn't worry about that" or "YOu need to focus on yourself." Well, after what happened with Uncle Thomas, I can't ignore this. I've seen what their family is capable of.

It took me days to get to this point with this decision. It was even harder to bring this to Madam Odette. She gave so much of herself to get me to where I am. I wonder how I will be able to pay her back for this. She told me that it was a family obligation to ensure my growth. Still, she went out of her way to make sure that it happened.

Back to the matter that demands my attention! Madam Odette needs an answer. Again, I knew this question was going to come. I couldn't tell her about the letter, I knew what she would do. She would buff security, have me under 24-hour watch, and probably go after Reed herself if given the chance.

So much planning went into this. Far more than I probably should have. But I had to lie to her. And I had to make it believable. "I am choosing to leave because while the resources here are plentiful, there are things you cannot learn in books. I need to interact with magic instead of just studying theories."

I spent hours playing this out in my head preparing for anything that she could have thrown at me. I knew that she was going to question me on this or offer some form of enticement to keep me here. But I can't. I can't bring this danger to her. "OK Red, I can see where you're coming from. But if it's knowledge or experience you're after, I can call those with the experience to share with you."

"And that's the problem. This is a place where this doesn't happen organically. The world is very different from what's here. No amount of theory can teach that. It has to be experienced."

She's going to try to do what she can. I know this. I'm sorry Madam Odette. I hope you can forgive me but for your sake, I have to leave this place.

She looks resolved to do what she can. "I… Red…" She sits back in her chair rubbing her eyes, "Give me a few days to think." That's about the best I can ask for. I give her a nod before I take my leave. I don't feel better. I don't like this. I can only imagine what's going through Madam Odette's head.

There's a lot that's made me wonder what would change if I left. Anne has been assigned to me, properly assigned to me, so what will her duties change to? What's going to happen to my cabin? I'm not so worried about that. I have a feeling that Madam Odette would make sure that it's ready for me to return.

I also have to think about where I need to go after this. I am honestly considering if I could find a magic university that I could enroll in. According to Madam Delula, I have the aptitude for it. Maybe a school environment would be wise. There would be plenty of people around that if for some reason Reed does make a move, he'll have a hard time. I might be able to continue learning as well. The thought of a class setting kind of gets me excited. It takes me out of the moment for just a little while before I come back down.

The rest of the day goes by without a word. Anne brings me my dinner before taking a seat in my recliner while I sit at my desk. I feign reading a book while I eat. My mind wanders over the thought of leaving. What am I to do?

My sleep is restless. As the morning comes I'm right back into that state of mind. I just wonder what's going to happen. I get pulled out of it rather quickly. Madam Odette sends for me to come to her office. I don't hesitate and arrive promptly. She's still in her chair of power with her body leaned back. She greets me with a small smile. That's a bit unusual. "Red, take a seat."

I do as I am told. As my butt hits the fabric she leans forward, "I had some time to think about it and you are right. And as your teacher and tutor, I want nothing more than to see you grow and progress. I hope I'm not too presumptuous in my assumption that you were looking at or considering furthering your education at a school for structured learning, correct?"

Her way of speaking is far too formal for my taste. She's trying her best to be professional about this. I'll give her credit where credit is due. She's doing a wonderful job of handling this. "You are correct, Madam Odette. I was thinking about finding a university that could assist. Where I could be exposed to other students similar to myself." She nods as she leans back.

She opens a drawer pulling out a printed pamphlet. She places it on the desk, turning it so I can read it. "I would recommend looking to apply here. They're a high-rank school, and I know someone there who could give you a letter of recommendation that would guarantee your admittance." Ah yes, Madam Odette and her many connections. But I can't get by with her word alone. I need to be able to prove myself.

I take the paper and look it over. It just looks like she pulled it from their site. It's got a lot of basic information about the general classes they offer and amenities. Oh! They have campus housing. That would be useful. I must have been nodding my head too much. "It looks like you agree." I take a second to pause, "I like it and don't get me wrong but I would like to start to succeed on my own merits. I know you have a vast influence over a lot but if I'm going to make my way in this world I need to start doing things for myself."

"I have no influence here. This school is independent of anything I have the ability to touch. I just happen to know an instructor there who would be willing to put in a good word for you. In fact, you know her as well."

Someone I know? I clicked almost instantly. "Madam Delula."

"Precisely! I could get her to sign a recommendation and you would be accepted almost immediately."

"That's incredibly helpful but again, I need to start succeeding with my own merits."

She pauses, taking a few seconds to think, "OK, how about this? Instead of just an acceptance, you will be guaranteed to try their entry exams. There are two portions of it, written and practical, so that way if you are accepted it is because of your talent."

"That… is much more agreeable."

She claps her paws together with a smile. "There we go!" Wait, why is she happy about this? I thought she would do what she could to try and keep me close. Or maybe it's because I'm going to be close to someone she trusts. She starts going into other details that seem a bit excessive, "Now, because you work for me, my company has a continued education program that doesn't cover tuition or housing but we do cover books, materials, and up to $200 per month for expenses like food and school supplies." Right into the spiel. I try to keep track of all of it but my mind wanders. I feel kind of bad that my motives for this aren't just for education.

"If we start your enrollment now, you can join when classes start in mid-March." That leaves a few months in between. Will that be OK? If Reed makes his move before then, I don't know what I'll do. I'm going to have to trust that I can make it during that time. This is my best option. "Madam Odette, I appreciate your help in this matter and look forward to working with you on it." She stands up, extending her paw out to me. I take it in mine and we shake on it. I still feel uneasy but I know this is for the best. Plus, I'll have a few months yet to enjoy her company.