Naruto opened his eyes and was quick to notice the obvious
he wasn't in the middle of a forest, which meant that he was taken away, good
he wasn't in a pure white place, so he wasn't in the pure land, so he wasn't dead, double nice
he could almost instantly recognize the chakra of Hiruzen, that was one or two rooms away from him, so he was back to Konoha, triple nice
but this also meant he failed his mission and that was not nice...
but he escaped Tazuna's boring mission, so... half nice?
In general, three and a half nice.
"He is awake, call the medic" Someone beside him said, he guesses it was a nurse or something
As soon as he tried to get up though, he felt an insane headache and decided to keep lying down a bit more
"*Groan* I never felt so bad before..." He said
the effects of losing Kurama are only now being apparent, as he lost his 200X regen factor
Don't get me wrong, his Uzumaki genes still gave him an insane healing rate, but he dropped from Deadpool to Spider-Man regen factor, it's still there, but way weaker
Anyway, back to Naruto, I don't know why I was talking about regen factors... weird
*Creak*
The door opened, but instead of a doctor, it was Hiruzen who entered the room
"Third Hokage!" The nurse greeted
"I am not the Hokage anymore, there is no need to call me that" Hiruzen said with a helpless smile, it was weird that everyone called him that... maybe they forgot his name after calling him third Hokage for so long?
"How are you feeling Naruto?" Hiruzen approached Naruto and asked, sitting by his bed... the hospital bed, not his own... I hate that I need to clarify THIS kind of thing.... sigh
"Sorry, grandpa..." Naruto said, making Hiruzen confused
"What are you apologizing for?"
"I lost..."
Hiruzen looked at Naruto stunned for a second before
*Giggle*
"Don't be silly Naruto, you are fine, and that is what matters" Hiruzen said, messing Naruto's already messy hair a bit
Naruto smiled helplessly at that, he was happy about Hiruzen's words, but at the same time sad that he lost so easily... it was weird
And Hiruzen, being the old fox he is, easily noticed that, so he decided to cheer Naruto up a bit
How? Easy, just buy him ramen and he will be 100% in no time... But Hiruzen didn't do the obvious, he liked to subvert expectations, like when Tobirama thought he was going to be a good third Kage... like, seriously, that was hilarious
"I was very surprised when Kakashi asked to change his place with another team because of an accident, you know?" Hiruzen's words caught Naruto's attention. He was familiar with the old man, when he started to talk like this, he was going to explain what happened, which is something Naruto didn't know, he was knocked out, after all
(A/N: K. O.)
~=~
A flashback that is not really a flashback
As soon as Naruto was knocked out, Luna was also dealt with easily, also being knocked out, so using her Susanoo to take them away, Kaede was the only one fighting to save them
But it was useless, as Rimuru himself said, she couldn't beat him, and then he beat her up
all beat up, and barely standing, Kaede was still there, trying to copy Lee, but failing at having the same impact
but that didn't matter, what mattered was that Rimuru slammed his hand on her stomach and pulled a weirs ball of light, and then he left, saying that she wasn't whort the effort of killing or something cringe
And I don't know you, but I personally think that the true Rimuru was not happy with that, since he evaporated that cringe clone as soon as he could
Then, dragging Naruto and Luna while bleeding a lot, Kaede made her way to Kakashi's location
which she conveniently knew, don't ask how or her fake act will not be so believable then
Kakashi found them, and when he was about to attack Kaede, she fell unconscious, so he used his summoning dogs to pass an urgent message to Konoha, and change places with another team
~=~
Back to the present
"That was everything, but it happened about 2 days ago, you have been out ever since" Hiruzen said
"I have been out for 2 days?!" Naruto exclaimed, shocked
"Yes, you worried us a lot" Hiruzen confirmed
"THAT'S LIKE 20 RAMENS THAT I LOST!"
Hearing Naruto's concerns, Hiruzen could only laugh
'Of course, that's what he is worried about' He thought, not noticing Naruto's worried expression slip for a second, to a sad one
But it was so quick he didn't notice, neither did you, you hear me? you didn't see anything 🐧
...
"Wait... is Kaede already awake?" Naruto asked, suddenly having a thought
yes, he suddenly learned to use his brain, crazy right? it has been so long, that the collision of the thoughts in his mind to form an idea actually sounded more like an explosion than anything else
(A/N: For the uncultured swines out there, Reverend Insanity reference)
"Hmm? No, not yet. Why?" Hiruzen asked, not sure why Naruto asked that
"Then... Luna?"
"Also no..." Hiruzen answered
"But then... how do you know what happened if everyone that participated in it is unconscious?" Naruto asked, and indeed, that's a big question
and I'm sure someone will ask the same when they read the explanation above... that's part of my plan, after all
"Erm... well... you see..." Hiruzen had no idea how to talk about this
-=-
Kaede was tied to a hospital bed, so she couldn't escape, a bunch of chakra seals on her made sure she couldn't use chakra, but, just in case she managed to escape that, a bunch of explosive seals connected to her tenketsus made sure that any chakra she used would explode her
Naruto looked at this with wide eyes
"WHAT THE ACTUAL CRAP IS THAT ABOUT?" He screamed, even cursing
"You see Naruto, that is just protocol, she was a nukenin after all, and we had to take precautions..." Hiruzen explained, but he knew Naruto was a bit emotional... he knew what happened because of the Yamanakas after all...
"But it wasn't her, it was that blue-haired weirdo!" He argued
But... who cares? if you kill because you want, or because of orders, it doesn't mean you are not a killer because you got ordered, that's not how it works dude
But explain that to Naruto... sigh... that's a hard task if you ask me...
"It was necessary" Hiruzen decided to answer as simply as he could
"But... isn't this exaggeration?"
And he was right... it was a bit too much
But, while Naruto and Hiruzen kept blabbering about, Kaede was bored out of her mind
'When will those two shut the fuck up? how annoying...'