Great Maid Deutschland

"Let me get this straight. You want to be the secretary for a day? I don't mind. After all, Zed is out on commission, and I would need every help I can get. But one thing is bothering me, though...What's with that getup?"

For the Commander, Deutschland volunteering for secretarial work—before anyone else did, even—was surprising already on its own. But the fact she appeared wearing a very frilly maid uniform was nothing short of disturbing—and that's not counting the smile, which was clearly fake because he could see the popping vein on her forehead.

And sure enough, as soon as she heard the question, that smile disappeared in a flash, replaced by the undignified sight of her gritting her teeth and snarling. The Commander, having been accustomed to it, was unfazed. All things considered, he preferred that expression on her.

"Don't ask," she snapped, just as the door creaked open to reveal a familiar silver hair. Prinz Eugen peered inside, and when she found Deutschland and saw what she was wearing, a satisfied grin appeared on her face.

"There you are, Dee. I was surprised you went through with it, but of course, you would have to sooner or later; a bet is a bet, after all." Ignoring the murderous glare directed at her, Eugen skipped uninvited into the room and around Deutschland.

"Okay, Eugen; no need to needle her. And since you clearly know what happened, kindly explain," the Commander interjected before Eugen's teasing got too far, and the tension escalated into something that would wreck the office and land him in serious trouble with the brass.

"Weeeelll~you see, last night there was a little party...which you sadly missed, Herr Kommandant, even when some of us already asked you to come...As we grew bored, Deutschland and I had a drinking contest, you know, and the loser must do whatever the winner told her to. And since she lost, here she is, Deutschland, the Great Maid," replied Eugen, playfully moving behind Deutschland and lightly nudging her forward—only to fail because she firmly planted herself on the floor.

"I swear, Eugen, I'm going to kill you," Deutschland growled, but the other KANSEN remained flippant and simply wagged a finger to her face, unaffected by the blatant threat.

"Ah ah, Dee, think of what Spee would say if you do. Moreover, I still got them," Eugen calmly replied, eyes narrowing. "If you go through with your punishment, I will get rid of them. I promise~really."

The Commander let out an inconspicuous snort at that remark.

Trusting Prinz Eugen? Bad idea, Deutschland.

"...Leave my sister out of this, you har—bah, fine. I'll do it. If you don't do that by the end of the day, though, I will wring your thin neck for real and do it myself."

"Ooh, so scary...I hope Herr Kommandant will find you satisfactory despite that, hehehehe. Auf wiedersehen~"

With those words, Eugen blew a kiss at Deutschland and bolted out of the room before the latter had the chance to retort. When she realized Eugen had the last word, Deutschland stormed towards the door but stopped just as she reached it and muttered something that suspiciously sounded like a stream of profanity.

"Fine," she finally growled as she turned around, now sporting the very same smile she had before, still looking terribly out of place on her and just as fake.

"As if I, the great Deutschland, would renege on a deal," she proclaimed, trying to sound haughty as usual but was clearly a little shaken. The Commander wisely chose not to point this out.

"So what should I be doing now, Lowl—Master...?"

"Well, Zed would usually start with making coffee, so we can go with that," while stroking his chin, the Commander replied, wondering if the usually bossy girl could pull this off or not.

"Heh, coffee? It should be easy. Give me a minute."

***

Perhaps I shouldn't take what she's said literally, but still, she pretty much implied she would not take long, the Commander thought as he waited and waited; almost fifteen minutes had passed, and Deutschland had not returned.

While he was deliberating between checking on the KANSEN and starting work right away, the door was thrown open to reveal Deutschland. Her headdress was lopsided, and her face and apron were covered in what seemed to be soot. The Commander would find the sight amusing if only she did not look so angry.

"...Your coffee is ready," she said, flashing a smile that somehow managed to look even phonier than the one she had before.

Seeing that and the coffee pot she was holding—which was on the verge of breaking apart, the Commander refrained from asking anything.

He also noted that adding 'kitchen repair' to the budget might be necessary.

***

"Actually...this is good," the Commander said after a sip—and he meant it, too. That's despite the fact Deutschland nearly spilled the hot liquid all over the table while she attempted to fill his cup. For a person who excels on the battlefield, outside of it, her aim sure is terrible, the Commander mused.

"Well, that's to be expected; I made it, after all! Savor it because you won't get to next time!"

And, of course, she still managed a boast despite all that.

"Well then, time to start working. As the secretary, you will help with minor paperwork and documents—" the Commander paused when he saw the look Deutschland gave him.

"...Paperwork...?"

"...No, they are not hard to do. Sure is tiring, though," he continued, pointing at a tall stack of papers. That did nothing to assuage the KANSEN.

"Ugh...Well, okay, I'll do it," Deutschland said, sounding somewhat defeated.

The Commander raised an eyebrow at the reply. Deutschland sure was quick to accept, considering what she's generally like.

Oh well, that's a good thing. At least for a start, he told himself.

To her credit, Deutschland did not complain much about the mountain of paperwork. Frequent grunts—which the Commander took as grumbling—aside, she worked with uncharacteristic silence.

Naturally, this piqued his curiosity.

"What is it?" She looked up as she realized the Commander had been watching her.

"Oh, nothing. Just a little surprised. You are taking this seriously, in the end."

"...It's...not like I want to. This...this damned endless stream of documents is driving me crazy. But Spee is coming back from her mission today, and no way I'm going to look like I'm doing a sloppy job when she reports," Deutschland retorted; somehow, the possibility of her sister seeing her in that outfit eluded her completely.

"I see," the Commander nodded, "keep that up then."

***

Another hour passed without much happening; though at first Deutschland still seemingly grumbled as she worked just like before, she gradually became quiet.

Upon further inspection, the Commander found out that the KANSEN had fallen asleep, snoring lightly as she did.

The Commander smiled at the rare sight. He wasn't surprised; he did mention paperwork would be tiring. And there's also the fact she'd been drinking the night before as well.

Just as he carefully moved away the paper Deutschland was working on to save it from her drool, there was a series of knocks on the door.

"Enter."

A silver-haired KANSEN, clad in a black uniform, entered the room and saluted.

"Herr Kommandant, Admiral Graf Spee reporting."

"Oh, welcome back, Spee. Okay, let's hear what you have to report," the Commander smiled at the newcomer and returned to his desk.

***

"Hmm, I see. Thank you. It was uneventful, huh."

"It was as I've reported, Herr Kommandant."

"Very well, you are dismissed. Feel free to rest, but don't forget to give me the written version later."

"As you command," Graf Spee saluted and turned around to leave. As she walked, though, she saw the sleeping Deutschland and stopped.

"...If I may ask one question, Herr Kommandant…"

"Okay, ask away."

"Did Deutschland do a good job?"

"Well, she may look like this now, but I can assure you she really did, even though she complained at first," the Commander answered after thinking for a moment.

A small smile formed on Spee's face.

"I'm glad. My sister usually cannot handle pressure too well. So for her to be able to do that is good to hear."

"Well. In that case, I'm glad, too."

Spee's smile turned a little sly after that.

"Seeing her like this reminds me of that photo Prinz Eugen showed me."

"Oh, really now?" The Commander replied. Showing embarrassing pictures of her comrades indeed sounds like something Prinz Eugen would do.

"Perhaps Herr Kommandant is curious?" Spee inquired.

"Well, I would be lying if I said I'm not."

"Okay then, but keep this a secret," Spee murmured as she walked back to the Commander's desk and showed him the picture on her phone screen.

It was a photo of Deutschland sleeping on the table with a goofy grin, surrounded by empty bottles and glasses.

Silly Deutschland, the Commander thought as he grinned at the picture. So this is one of the reasons you got so worked up? This isn't much different than how you are right now. I have to admit, though, you do look adorable.