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Loss.
It was a terrible word, but at the same time, if could also promise strength. Because once you lost enough, once there was nothing more to lose, there was something fierce and savage, primal in its ruthlesness, that rose to fill the void.
Valera had experienced it when she was an Exile, after she had lost the princess she was sworn to protect.
Aldrich had experienced it when he had lost his parents and, later, Adam and Elaine.
But the thing about that power, borne from loss, was that it was unstable. The moment you started to fill that loss carved void in with something brighter was the moment you lost the savage rush of strength that came with its emptiness.
Even now, Aldrich was afraid of losing that strength. He had promised Valera he would try his best for her as a lover, but…it was hard. Just because he said he would did not mean he could undo a lifetime's worth of conditioning.