Ch.30

AN: Just a reminder this is an fanfic, so reality here is different than ours and the mythology mentioned in this chapter is not a hundred percent accurate. So don't start freaking out at reading information that is not correct according to mythology, they were bent to fit my needs and story.

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(Matt Pov)

Walking through the forest and looking about the quiet and peace invading my senses. Making me feel very at ease and wanting to spend eternity here. However, I push through these feelings and head further into this forest. The closer I get to the center of it I can see a well, it has a glowing warm light coming out of it. Walking over to it and looking inside, I covered my eyes as it hurt but quickly adjusted, and looking down it was like a small sun was at the end emitting the light. As I'm looking down the well, I hear a person approaching behind me, I quickly turn around to them.

"Matt, you have finally come to see me. You have a knack for taking your time, though that matters not," a very smooth and kind-sounding voice spoke as I turned around. The voice belongs to a man with medium-length golden hair, not blonde but looking like actual gold, with eyes looking like they were made of pure gold also, and a medium bushy beard golden just like his hair. He was wearing a simple but beautiful blue tunic with gold lining.

"Who are you?" I ask him still tense at his appearance from nowhere, though his presence in itself brings a calming feeling to me.

"I am known as Baldr, the firstborn son of Odin and his wife Frigg. The god of light, mainly among others, however, some consider me to be very forgiving also," Baldr says to me.

'Shit are gods real, or is this just all in my head?' I think to myself after hearing who he is.

"Yes, gods are real. Though I'm not going to get into that whole mess of which, who, or whatever other questions you will want to ask. Just know that you truly were a blessing to your parents from Odin, and he took pity on your other set of memories. Giving your other side a second chance at life, though even gods make mistakes. My father has made many also, thinking you cable of finding the balance between the two sides. Inside of being who you really are meant to be, which is the light in the darkness and purger of evil, as I am," Baldr says to me, with a look of anger directed in the direction of the colder half in this realm.

"You have been letting the other side take you over and you need to stop letting it control you. The best way to control it is to go there and suppress the idiot brother of mine. He protects the well of power on that side, as I protect this one. The fool believes you should be the darkness that swallows the light. I know you are better than that," Baldr says to me before I can say anything after learning all that he told me.

"...So you are saying balance is not possible? That only one side can win and that I need to banish, destroy, or kill your brother or the well he protects? Then that side will be destroyed? What happens if one side is destroyed? Odin said that I would lose the emotions connected to that side," I say to Baldr with so many questions lining my mind, and from what he said it sounds like I want him to win compared to the coldness inside me.

"Yes, balance is impossible. You are correct, you either need to kill my brother or destroy the well he protects, for me to take over his realm. It would be good for you to lose the connection you have with that coldness, it will only bring more pain and suffering to you and others," Baldr says to me making my conviction to destroying the cold realm stronger.

"Ok, I understand. I will go there now," I say turning to walk there and finally be done with being torn between two sides.

"Wait! Before you go over there, be wary of my brother he will lie to you and try to turn you against yourself and your true meaning in life!" Baldr says to me as I walk away and I nod to him making him give me a warm smile and wave me off.

Walking to the coldness that is overtaking the warmness inside me, where they connect by the empty well inside me. Entering the coldness I feel the peace and calmness I once felt, now being replaced with bitterness and distrustfulness. Being here makes me feel as if every shadow holds an enemy and the only sound is the howling and freezing wind. Walking through this desolate wasteland filled with sharp ice pillars and no signs of life anywhere, I finally come across another well. One filled with a deep blue glow and I rush to destroy it as Baldr suggested. Though as I approach the well, an arrow of ice hits the ground right in front of me and explodes sending me flying away from the well.

"You are not yourself! My brother has corrupted your mind and filled your mind with false information!" a deep guttural voice says coming from a man with pitch black hair, dark as the night itself, eyes that were pure white, and wearing furs with a bow made from ice in his hands.

As soon as the ice arrow exploded in front of me, the feeling of wanting to destroy him and the well disappeared. Though in its place a sense of distrust of everything and wariness of the man in front of me. Getting into a defensive position I stare at him, waiting for his next move and ready to counter-attack.

"Calm down Matt! I am your true side and I just saved you from making a major mistake!" the man says standing in front of the well and putting his hand up in a gesture to calm down.

"Why should I trust you?! You attacked me and Baldr said you were trying to make me a champion of darkness!" I say to him angrily for being attacked.

"You fool! My brother may seem kind and caring, but like all gods has ulterior motives! He wants to claim your mind for himself and make you his champion," the man says now leaning against the wall, indifferent to my defensive stance.

"Why should I trust anything you say?! Just as you said gods have ulterior motives! What is yours?!" I say to him narrowing my eyes at him and hearing me the man smiles.

"Good that is the Matt I know, distrusting and vengeful. One willing to make those who hurt him suffer and die!" the man says with a very cold voice at the end.

"I'm also the son of Odin and Frigg, known as Höðr. Like you, I was tricked by those I once loved and made into what I am today. Out of fear they cast me out of Asgard and hunt me down like a dog," Höðr says to me with venom in his voice and deep anger directed towards the warm side I just came from.

"My brother probably lied to you. I do want you to accept this side of yourself. This is your true side the one meant for you to be, not some idiot who just forgives anyone who betrays him or hurts him. You are supposed to find those who hurt you and kill them, this world has too many people who are let off easy after doing heinous crimes and get to live. You are meant to be true justice and kill those who bring nothing but chaos to the world!" Höðr says to me with a deep conviction in his voice and anger at the world itself. Hearing what he says I relax a bit and consider what he says is true and maybe Baldr has been lying to me the whole time, though he is most likely hiding some things from me too.

"I AM NO LIAR OR BETRAYER!" Höðr yells to me hearing or sensing my thoughts about him.

"Not after what has happened to me! You may never fully trust me and for good reason too. But I would not become like those who have wronged me!" Höðr says to me calming down a bit.

"Then what am I supposed to do?! Go and kill Baldr or destroy his well?! Then what? We become a cold, heartless bastard who kills just any criminal?" I say to Höðr questioning what he told me and now what Baldr has told me.

"Yes, my brother did not lie about there can be no balance or that to destroy one side you must kill one of us or the well we protect. Joining your true side, this side, we would become cold-hearted, but that is necessary to do what is needed!" Höðr says to me with a cold glint in his pure white eyes.

"Though he conveniently forgot to mention, that should you destroy one side. Then one of your wells of power will disappear too. Meaning should you join me then your giant and stronger Ice bear form will remain and joining that jackass will leave you with your weaker werebear form," Höðr says with disgust in his mouth about the werebear form.

"You make good points and I agree that we should kill those who are let off easy after lying and betraying people. I will go and get rid of the weaker half of myself," I say to Höðr feeling that he made more sense between the two. I start to walk to the warm half with the intent of killing Baldr for lying to me. As I leave I can see Höðr smile and nod to me as I leave.

Walking past the empty well in the center of this realm, I was about to enter the warm side to put this all to an end. Before I step over that side, in the corner of my eye I see a spark of light in the empty well. Curious I step onto the stone path that the well resides on. As soon as I step on the stone path, I stumble to the well catching myself on it, as both overwhelming emotions inside me fighting for control, vengeance and peace disappear. Then clarity enters my mind and both sides of myself find the unstable balance that I had before entering this place.

'It would seem entering either side influences me to join that side and talking with the gods only reaffirmed that belief in the side,' I think to myself after feeling back to my 'normal' unbalanced self.

Looking into the once-empty well, I can see that after starting to understand each side and trying to find a balance. Inside the well, two extremely small balls of light swirled around one another, one like a small star of warm light and the other like a miniature moon giving off cold blue light. Seeing this brings calmness and slightly more balance to the mixed and fighting emotions inside me.

'I need more time to think on this and consider what I know of both gods. Then maybe I can understand what will bring balance to them, for now, I should avoid entering either side,' I think to myself as I will myself to leave this place and wake up from the mediation. Opening my eyes I see that the sun is just raising and Alice is lying with her head on my lap looking at me with concern.

"Matt! You finally woke up! You have to stop scaring me like that!" Alice says sitting up, positioning herself in my lap facing me and with a concerned and pouting look.

"Let's go get ready to leave and when we drive back to the city, I'll explain what I learned. I'm gonna need your help," I say to her standing up as she still has her legs wrapped around my waist and arms around my neck.

"Fine, but you better tell me later!" Alice says still pouting, but then kisses me quickly. Taking herself off me, she grabs my hand and leads me back to my family's house to grab our things before leaving.