The Counselor - A Group Chat Story
(Semi-Excerpt from Novel)
Jacob wearily reached for his phone as he felt it go off in his pocket. After another day of job searching he was hoping for some good news as he glanced at the screen…
‘New Invitation to Group chat.’
“Huh, must be some of the guys.” Giving a quick shrug and settling into his car he let a small breath of air out, resting his tired legs.
[New Group chat, ‘Multiverse Counselling group’, entered , name set to, ‘The Counselor’, by ‘Admin’.]
“What???.... ohh shit. Was this the job I applied to when I was drunk?”
He wanted to face palm in that moment, after so long, he might have finally caught a break and he couldn’t actually do his job! There was a slump in his shoulders as he clicked into the group, expecting to see some information about the job he had applied for, but instead it was empty.
His eyebrow quirked for a second at the descrepency before finally letting out a small chuckle as he figured it out. His friends were messing with him….A sigh left his lips as he lowered the phone, he knew he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up.
Rolling his eyes he reached forwards, he may as well roast some of the guys before he heads home and has his nice hot shower. There were 4 new messages in the chat.
[Darth Vader has Joined the group.]
[Ruin Princess has Joined the Group.]
[Phoenix has joined the group.]
[Dark Knight has joined the group.]
Ok now he knew it was a bloody joke. He could only shake his head as he started typing.
-10 minutes later-
I get paid for giving out some stupid ‘life counselling’? My Arse, I’ll give your ‘characters’ some life counselling!
The Counselor: (Fine I’ll start with the easy one, Yo Anakin, Palpatine is a Sith lord, he’s been playing you for years and guess what turns you to the dark side, oooooh soo scary. Lock him the fuck up or kill him who cares, leave the Jedi, get your wife pregnant and go be an actual dad you prick and have a nice life.)
Darth Vader: (I don’t know what game your playing, but you should know Jedi don’t have relationships.)
The Counselor: (Rias, pull your finger out of your ass and start training, the fact that some pervert with a sacred gear is what saves you in the end from your arranged marriage is honestly embarrassing, seeing as you’re the little sister of the bloody devil in charge. Get your shit together woman.)
Ruin Princess: (What?!?!?!?!)
The Counselor: (Jean, I mean I can’t fault your problems, you’ve basically got a split personality because the bold bastard screwed around with your head, not to mention your husband having a Psychic affair later in life. Get your mind sorted out then come and talk to me.)
Pheonix: (What is a Psychic affair? And who was my husband…)
The Counselor: (Bruce, honestly not much wrong with you, well other than you beat the shit out of people in a giant bat suit, but honestly a lot of good work, if you don’t include all your protégés either dying or leaving you and how most of your contingencies usually come around to bite you in the arse. Ehh I guess stop being so paranoid and shit might work out, You’re welcome.”
The Dark Knight: (…)
The Counselor: (There you all got some ‘life counselling, now fuck off you’ve had your fun I’ll talk to you guys later!)
-12 hours later-
Jacob Stared at his bank account gobsmacked.
“Holy shit I got paid!!!!”
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Ok fellas new novel, I have writers block on my other ones, so not much has changed. Writing this for fun, DO NOT expect updates, I just want to relax and have some fun with this.
Please give me suggestions in comments for people to add to the chat group, I will consider ever person listed.
Because I know some are wondering, SINGLE PAIRING, NO HAREM. (Let’s be honest guys any chat group novel is generally ruined by a Harem, it’s just a fact, at some point it just devolves into adding girl to chat group will end up with MC, honestly a turn off at this point.)
Zevren · Cómic
