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My Consort Has Gone Mad!

Before entering the body of Imperial Consort Pan Yu Mei, Ju Ming only remembered three things from her old life; how to make sleeping pills, love pills and fragrant pouches. Her once carefree life roaming the city came to an end. Died by accident, now stuck in the body of the unfavored consort. Ju Ming strives to live to the fullest. A woman who cared more about food than her husband. Not paying him any attention will only attract his attention. What happens when a carefree and simple girl meets the handsome but cold prince. *First time attempt at light, fluffy and slightly humorous* Picture taken from: https://www.pinterest.se/pin/339740365620600461/

Lotuspalm · Historia
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135 Chs

Pei Nan the Oppurtunist

A sorry looking Yu Mei slipped her body back into the pool like a flopping fish. Her body went under except her face. She let out an awkward smile. "You're back," she tried to sound cheerful. Pei Nan did not look happy to see her though. It was written all over his face, killing intent. "I won't repeat myself. What are you doing here?" Pei Nan ignored her as he made his way to the first candle on the left. After lighting that one up, he went to the right. After he lit both candles, Yu Mei still hadn't answered his question. He went back to his original spot on the opposite end of the pool. Yu Mei nervously watched as Pei Nan set the candle on the candle holder before looking back at her. "I'm going to give you on the count of three to tell me why you broke into my room."

"One…"

Yu Mei bit her lips. What was she supposed to say? She came to find her jade but accidentally got caught.

"Two…thr…"

"I came to bathe," Yu Mei blurted out loudly. [Ju Ming, what the bananas! Bathe? Who in their right mind bathes in someone else's pool?] She looked up at him. She couldn't read his expression. Right now, he truly resembled an unemotional carved statue.

The next thing he did almost gave her a heart attack. "What…what…what are you doing?" Yu Mei couldn't help but stutter at the scene in front of her. Pei Nan's hands were on his belt, slowly undoing it. Next moment, it was tossed on the ground with a soft thud. "What perfect timing? I was about to bathe too." His hands unhurriedly pulled the strings on his outer gown. Just like the belt, his outer gown dropped onto the ground. *Deep inhale* Yu Mei turned away from him. She put her hands on the edge of the pool once more, about to attempt an escape when he started to yell at her. "Pan Yu Mei, if you dare to leave this room without my permission, I will sell Chu'mei." He threatened. Yu Mei was at a loss for word. Who did he think he was to threaten her? She clenched her jaw and furiously turned around, ready to scold him. "Ahh!" a short scream followed by her eyes being closed. Those chiseled and perfectly carved abs on his honey brown skin…it can never be unseen. She had to have turned right when the last piece of his clothing fell off. Did he not have any decency? Who strips naked in front of a woman? Yu Mei was really at a loss for word. She felt embarrassed for him. "I'm done taking a bath. Can I go now?" Still with her eyes closed, she asked him nervously. Pei Nan didn't say anything. He walked over to the small table at the corner and grabbed a red towel before heading down to his pool. "Look at me," a stern demand even Yu Mei couldn't refuse. She slowly opened her eyes. The only way she could keep from feeling embarrassed was to look him in the eyes. If she looked any lower, she might become flustered. She swallowed her saliva. He was coming closer. [Calm down Ju Ming. He is only a stupid man you have no feelings for. Just act normal. Get this over with and leave.] No matter how much she tried to calm herself down, it didn't work. The pool was only shallow enough to reach his chest. Yu Mei wished it had been deeper. Even if she didn't feel any attraction for him, she had to admit that he was very well built. His broad shoulders, muscular bicips…*blink* *blink* Yu Mei snapped out of her daze. [Are you crazy Ju Ming? How shameless of you to drool over his body.]

In a blink of an eye, the man that Yu Mei tried not to stare at was in front of her. He was right in front of her. "I'm really done bathing. I should get going." Pei Nan teasingly smiled at her as his feet kept going towards her. He was already so close, so where was he going? Yu Mei immediately stepped backwards. When her back hit the edge of the pool, she used her hands to block him. Both her palms touched his muscular bare chest. Yu Mei instantaneously removed her hands and shook them as if he was dirty. Her little surprised expression didn't help either. Pei Nan clenched his jaw and leaned closer to her, setting his hands next to each side of her arms. Yu Mei could only hold her breath as his face came closer to hers. "Since you've already finished bathing, help me." She felt goosebumps all over her body. *Hehe* "I'll get someone over to help you then." Yu Mei tried to turn her body to the right. Pei Nan gently placed his hand on her left shoulder and pushed her back into position. To make sure she didn't try to make an escape again, he took one last step, pressing his body towards hers. The only thing blocking them from touching chest to chest was her palms that were quick to block his advances once again. His gaze changed into a dark and seductive stare even Yu Mei couldn't decipher. His hand slowly reached her chin, gently clutching it in his fingers. Yu Mei inhaled a nervous breath as her eyes once again made contact with his. For the first time, she felt lost in them. But his smile…he smiled at her again. That evil smile. A kiss? What was she expecting? The red towel was lightly thrown at her, covering her face. "Scrub my body and then you can leave."

Yu Mei pouted her lips before asking, "How long do I have to do it?"

"It depends on how well you perform," he said casually but in Yu Mei's mind, he was clearly telling her she would be stuck here forever. She grabbed the cloth from her face and dipped it into the water when her wrist was seized. "What!" She said annoyed.

"Scrub gently."

"Can you turn your back then?" For the first time, she felt embarrassed. Seeing her face flushed, he complied with her command. His hand went down and grabbed her tiny waist, spinning her in a half circle. Their positions switched as Pei Nan turned around, leaning his chest on the edge for comfort. Yu Mei who had stumbled a few steps walked nearer to him. She made sure to keep her distance an inch or two away as she began to wipe his back. His shoulders were really nice, they were broad and muscular. That much, Yu Mei had to admit.

Pei Nan closed his eyes to enjoy this moment. The cloth going from his lower back to his shoulders to his neck; he felt that it was really nice. But it didn't last long. "Done," Yu Mei said after lazily scrubbing his back for a few minutes. She was ready to leave when he turned to face her, almost knocking her head with his as he grabbed her wrist that was holding the towel. "You are joking right? Is my back the only body part?" he asked shocked. She huffed in disbelief, "Pei Nan, you can clearly wipe your front by yourself," she justified, throwing the towel at his chest. Pei Nan caught it and held out his arm, pushing the towel back to her. Yu Mei grabbed the towel and angrily put both her hands in the water. Why? To make two tight fists.

"This is your punishment. If you can satisfy me right now, I will clear you of all your offenses," his hand went underwater, pulling both her hands out. He forcefully pulled her towards him, her body touching his once again. "It would be a pity to lose these soft white hands," Yu Mei didn't know anyone as shameless as him. He would really cut off her hands. She only hit him once or twice…maybe three times.

"Pei Nan, you are too cruel. Can you let go so I can scrub you, hmph!" He let go. This time, his back comfortable leaned on the wall as his arms spread out. She nervously placed the cloth on his neck. No matter how much she tried to avoid it, she could feel his eyes on her at all times. Yu Mei let out a gasp when he gripped her waist with one hand. [Endure Yu Mei, you must endure. Cannot lose these precious hands.] His eyes stared at her flustered face. Pei Nan knew she was doing a halfhearted scrubbing job but it was much better than earlier. Yu Mei tried to ignore the fact that she was being held by him. She needed to hurry and leave. Her hand eventually went down to his chest as her face turned redder and redder. When she had finished scrubbing his chest, she looked up, "Can I be done now?" she really wanted to leave. The hand that was not gripping her waist touched her hand that was still placed on his chest. That hand slowly led her down to his waist, then towards that hidden place. "What about here?" He spoke teasingly. Her eyes widened as she felt the cloth go down lower, touching him down there. The only thing between "that" and her hand was the thin red cloth. He used his hand to help her clean him down there. The whole time, she did not dare to look into his eyes; she really didn't know that her shy action had provoked him. It didn't take long before he felt a sudden urge and flipped her to the side of the rail, placing his hands on the edge, stopping her from any escape. Before she could react, his lips were intertwined with hers. Her first reaction was to push away but no matter how hard she tried, he was much stronger than her.

"Argh" Pei Nan's lips left Yu Mei's. As he angrily stared at her, he could taste the blood from the bite mark left by her. "Pei Nan you opportunist!" This time, Pei Nan didn't stop Yu Mei from leaving. He only meant to teach her a little lesson. He didn't expect things to go this far.

Bathing scene was from a different novel of mine and after reading it, I toned it down a notch. It was alot more smutty than I remembered it. Took a few sentences or two out.

And yes, he seems to be moving too fast with his feelings but I'll explain his actions in the next few chapters.

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