Ember, God Of Gods. And Chaos.

"So Quentin tell me again how she ran away. From right under your nose." I laid into him.

Josh and Vicky had run away.

They didn't want to fight the Beast apparently.

Well, I guess it's understandable.

She was just freed from two years of torture.

I knew of course. I just pretended to ignore them.

All for the god jizz.

Could I run in and tear into god flesh?

Maybe. Probably.

It would fill my reality anchor.

But!

There is a greater chance that the god just steals that flesh back or runs away even before I stab him.

That is no bueno!

So, I need to get that god jizz.

An initial investment into my godhood.

"Jay, relax. He made a mistake." Eliot intervened.

"Can't blame them." Penny said, "I'd have done the same if I didn't know it was useless.

"Fuck them." Margo was pissed.

"We have all the magcians we need for the strategy. We just need enough power to fake mastery."

I turned to Julia.

"So... Gods?"

"Yeah." She ran a hand through her hair nervously, "We will have to petition Ember and Umber. At their temple." "Alright." I said, "Julia, Quentin, you two go petition the gods for help. The rest of us will scout around and try to find out where the Beast went."

"He was pretty beat up on our last encounter. Are we even sure he's alive?" Alice asked.

I pointed at the overcast sky.

"He's still kicking. Ember wouldn't leave the sky dark after all this time if the Beast was gone. He's been too cooped up for that." I explained.

"That is very flimsy logic." She sighed.

"Would you rather we not prep?" I asked.

"No. You're right." Alice agreed, eyeing Julia and Quentin, "Why those two? Quentin knows a lot more about Fillory. He can be useful here."

Ah. She was jealous.

She knew Quentin had a crush on Julia. So she was uncomfortable sending the two of them over alone.

I smiled smugly.

"It's precisely because they know the most that I need them to go. Gods aren't easy to convince. And if Julia is to be believed, she has experience with that."

Alice couldn't argue with that and reluctantly agreed.

"Fine." She gave Quentin a look.

Oh. She was absolutely not fine.

Well, not my problem.

Quentin can sort that lover's quarrel on his own.

"But where do we even begin?" Penny asked, "I mean, if he's injured and we all saw what blondie there did to him, he will need a miracle for that."

"Maybe he is with the centaurs. They have a hospital..." Quentin suggested.

"Maybe." I pretended to consider it.

"Why don't you ask me?" A voice came from the door as an injured Christopher Plover stumbled in.

"He could never hide anything from me. Our bond-"

"Okay that's enough pedo talk out of you." Margo interrupted.

"I know where he is." He said, "He is at the Wellspring. If he is as injured as you say, he will no doubt go to the Wellspring. To drink from it. It has potent healing powers."

"But no one knows where the Wellspring is." I led him on.

"I do. Let me help you." He said.

Everyone looked at him with distrust and he explained.

"These sigils on my face." He pointed out.

"A life suspension spell. The same one as cancer puppy. But better sonehow. It's healing you." Eliot recognized.

"Yes. He carved these into me so he could torture me over and over again. Start over everyday." He bleated.

Ugh.

I can't wait to do the same to him.

"Alright we get it. Where's the Wellspring?" I cut in.

"If I could have a pen and paper..." He requested.

And we had our location.

Now just to get that god jizz.

.

Quentin looked at the temple of Ember and Umber, covered in dead, rotting foliage and in a state of disrepair and remembered how it had been the last time they came around, 70 years ago.

Full of flowers and sunshine and rainbows.

Now it smelled of pig shit.

"How do we call them? I don't see a door?" Julia looked around.

"I ... Don't know. The books don't actually say how they found the door or met the gods." Quentin admitted, "They just said that Ruper put his hand on the statue and his blood of the Chatwins sang to the gods."

Quentin poked around the statue when he noticed a groove.

"There is something here." He pulled out a credit card and began to scrape the moss off of the statue to reveal a hand shaped imprint on it.

"Is that..?" He planted his hand into it and waited.

But nothing happened.

"Maybe you should try to bleed onto it?"

"Bleed? How? I don't have a knife." He said.

Julia scanned the surroundings and plucked out a thorny branch.

"Give me your hand." She grabbed it before Quentin could say anything and cut into it.

"Tss!" He hissed.

"Oh don't be a baby."

"What if I get an infection?"

"Even hedges know anti-bacterial spells. Deal with it."

Quentin frowned and reluctantly planted his hand back onto the imprint.

And this time, something did happen.

The statue began to glow with a blinding light that engulfed them and in an instant they disappeared.

.

"It is customary to bow." A booming voice echoed throughout the cave.

"Children of Earth."

Julia picked a torch off the wall and began waving it around to get a view of where it was coming from.

At the edge of the cave behind a crudely carved throne they spotted him.

A half-man half-sheep creature.

A satyr with a wooden staff in hand.

A very fat and dirty satyr, dressed in rags.

Ember.

"He stinks." Julia whispered.

"The whole place stinks." Quentin replied.

"Have you brought me little cakes?" Ember asked in nasally childish voice, leaning over the throne.

"No, uh.... We didn't really know that we were supposed to..." Quentin shrugged.

"Oh... " Ember turned away disappointed, and walk arounf to sit on the throne.

"I am so tired of eating mice..." He whined before suddenly turning chipper, "No matter! And you are?"

"Uh.. I'm Quentin Coldwater." He gestured at Julia, "And Julia Wicker."

"Huhn...Spank my cheeks! You're usually dead by now. He... kills you and I'm left here to hide like an animal in horrid, arid, cake deficient Loria....but you're here now. What happened?"

"What happened? Why are you.... What are you doing here?"

"He lured me into a trap of course." Ember explained.

"The Beast?" Quentin asked.

"As you call him, yes. He snared me and my dead, departed Umber."

"Wait, Umber's dead?"

"It's unseemly, all of it." Ember slammed his fist into the throne's armrest.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to disrespect but how could a magician put the drop on you?" Julia asked.

"Fillory's magic belongs to no one, not even a god. A magician with enough determination can harness it's forces and make haggis of any one of us.

So now I just wait until he is slain." Ember sunk into his throne, "I'm so fucking bored children of Earth. Ha! I've had sex with every nymph in the kingdom."

"Well we're here to help." Quentin said.

Ember cocked an eyebrow.

"But you're not a nymph?"

"No I'm....Okay what the fuck is wrong with you?" Quentin snapped.

"Pray pardon?" Ember was shocked.

Quentin liked that look.

"What are you doing here? You're just going to let the Beast trample the shit out of Fillory?"

"You think that I want to be here?!"

"I think you're being kind of a whiny bitch!" Quentin cut in.

"Q, maybe don't insult-"

"No! Does he care or not?" Quentin shouted.

That shut Ember up.

"You're right. Years trying to outwit him. Greatest failure, deepest shame. And now he is prepared for anything I might do. It's not I who can defeat him. Not directly."

"Then let us do it for you!" Quentin said, "We have a plan. To kill the Beast. Our friend Jay he has built a weapon....uh... " He turned to Julia, "How do I explain an orbital laser cannon to a god?"

"You don't." Julia said taking over.

"It's a weapon that can kill the Beast."

"It is?" Ember's eyes lit up.

"Yes. But we need your help. Only a master magician can wield the weapon."

"Can it? Don't answer that. I see in your mind. Yes. Perhaps. But I like a perhaps. Better than a never." Ember giggled.

"We need your-" Julia said but Ember cut her off.

"My essence. My largesse. My divine.... Seed. Indeed. I shall give it to you." He flickered as flask of white, murky liquid appeared in Quentin's hand.

"Take it. Imbibe it when the time comes . When you're ready to face him."

"Is that semen?" Julia asked as Quentin gagged out a 'thank you'.

"And you daughter of Earth. Hm... Your mind is encumbered. A shroud." Ember noted.

"No-" Quentin tried to stop him.

"What?" Julia was confused.

But Ember was not one to be stopped.

"Crudely made." Ember said placing a hand on Julia's head, "I will remove it."

"Wait!" Quentin begged.

"Remove what?" Julia asked.

"No no NO! Don't!"

But it was too late.

Julia stumbled as the patch was ripped off and her true memories came flooding in.

"Oh god!" She gasped.

"No need to thank me!" Ember cheered, "Goodbye now!"

"Wait sto-"

And with a wave of his hand, they were gone.

__________________

Sooo.... no chapter yesterday.

I'm sure you're wondering, who to blame?

Me? Maybe.

The Indian government for having shit internet services that make you file for a fucking job application 83 fucking times?

Most certainly. Yes.

Bastards can spend billions on a statue in the middle of the fucking ocean but can't spare another grand to up their online infrastructure or add another server for fuck's sake.

Amd then every goddamn CAPTCHA.

Why does every step of the process need a CAPTCHA?

Indians aren't rich enough to afford the sort of net surfing phishing software that requires such security.

I am pissed.

I'm sure you can see.

Anyways.

Thanks for reading.

Sorry for the delay.

See you later amigos.

Donate your powerstones!

Bye!