Fate in a Nutshell part V.

Wanna get this finished off and get some hype built up as well, you can hate me for it. Also because I am having some trouble writing the fight scenes.

Enjoy!

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"Alright let's start with Fate/Apocrypha. So the Fate/Apocrypha timeline is exactly identical to the original timeline except when we get to the third holy grail war where the timeline was like you know what NAZIS... of course, it's the f**king Nazis,

"So the Nazis joined the third holy grail war and instead of there being a winner the Nazis steal the greater grail system and so after that, a Transylvanian Nazi mage guy steals it from the Nazis again, and I guess the Nazis go on to lose World War II as usual,"

"Man, I almost feel sorry for those guys," said someone who got punched a bit later.

"Fast forward to the future and somehow the entire world finds out about the greater grail system and everyone and the dark tries to make a cheap imitation of it,

"And so because of this, the Transylvanian Nazi sorcery guy vows to make the holy grail war great again and so he makes the great holy grail war hahaha... I s#it you know this is what it's called,

"And so now instead of seven servants you have 14 servants separated into two teams red and black, that's right it's a team deathmatch,

"And so we get a season of red versus black, Sieg's Armor is too thicc and Astolfo makes straight guys question their sexuality and gay guys question their sexuality and gay girls question their sexuality and I need to question my life choices for spending 500 dollars for a s*x toy with a dick and over 3000 dollars for 2D dick,

"And that concludes the events of Hitler/Stay Night,"

'... What the hell.' was everyone's thought as Astolfo and his Saber version covered their faces.

"Next on the menu, we have today's menu for the Emiya family. Did you see what I did there this is I think just another ultimate ending to the fifth holy grail wall where I guess nobody dies and they all just sit around cooking and playing volleyball and being happy and THIS IS CANON OKAY,

"I don't know what Akasha was smoking when she made this but do I know that she was high on PSP when she made Carnival Phantasm, which I'm not even gonna talk about,

(A/N: Go watch it. Recommended if you want brain cancer.)

"Lord el Melloi's case files this is basically just CSI magic that takes place after the fourth Holy Grail War, with a daddy and his loli but overall I will give it a 1.5/20... In Asian Parent scales that is,

"Alright, now we get into the manly s#it," Satoru said looking at the cover for Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya.

"Fate/DJ kaleid liner Prisma is a timeline where Masters become Magical Girls,"

"NANI!" came a few voices.

"And instead of summoning servants, the magical girls can use these magical cards to channel the power of the servant and also there's a magical talking wand, don't worry about it.

"Before I properly got into your Universe checking out stuff here and there, I just thought this was some unrelated timeline, but no not only does this directly diverge from the main timeline but it has two separate universes within its own Universe, it's a f69king Magical Loliverse,

"And the beginning of the Magical Loliverse, only has like two loli's in it, one that would most likely look like the twin sister of Gura(a hololive streamer) who you will hate,"

"Oh! Akasha I love you so much but you just don't make things easy do you all right I'm going to try and do my best, so stick with me here.

"The first universe is the one detailed in the timeline oath under snow following this girl called Miyu which is why we call this the Miyuverse because her name is Miyu and she's the Child of God don't worry about it.

"She's taken in by Shiro and then they have another holy grail war but not the usual Holy Grail War but the Ainsworth holy grail war can you guess why it's called the Ainsworth holy grail war... because it was made by the Ainsworths.

"Shiro then sends Miyu to an alternate universe which we call the Illyaverse or the Loli fanservice verse which is all sunshine and rainbows where the Fourth Holy grail war didn't happen, Kiritsugu's father of the year you've got cute girls doing cute things cute girls doing magical things and cute girls doing each other

"This is the universe where most of the Loli characters are found but then you suddenly jump into the Miyuverse and if you think that complicates things then how about this little knowledge,

"So in the original Fate/Stay Night universe Illya is 18... she's 18, she's older than Shiro but in the Illyaverse she's the same age as when the timelines diverge which theoretically should make her the same age as she was in Fate/stay Night but she's not and the Timeline makes it very clear that she is under 18. So which is it Fate which is it I need to know

"You know I would say don't worry about it but I'm pretty sure the FBI is going to do that for me."

Everyone then looked at Illya with a face that said, "You're are 18... I don't believe you."

'Ah! How nice it would be to get the blood of such a girl,' thought some ugly b*tch.

"Alright moving on from this mess of a illegal situation, Fate/Extra this leads up from the third holy grail war in the angry mango timeline where all the world's mana dries up because of some kind of… event,

"So in the 2030s all the mages turned into hackers and they tried to hack the moon because the moon has a supercomputer on it that was placed there by aliens that they found and so inside this supercomputer moon there exists this entire digital world and so the supercomputer moon is hosting a virtual reality holy grail war because it's actually alive..."

*Confused Unga Buga*

"I didn't realize how ridiculous this sounds until I read it out loud, don't worry about it," said Satoru looking at the script.

'You are reading, aren't you a God or something?'

'Hump, even this God is useless,' thought a certain blondy.

"And then here in its own corner, it's just Fate/Prototype which is Kinoku Nasu's original concept for Fate, where King Arthur's actually a guy... ge-get out of here with your damn historical inaccuracies."

'A man huh... that would have been good.'

(A/N: No it wouldn't Saber.)

"And finally Fate/Grand Order... Now we are truly in hell,"

"So in Fate/Grand Order the first holy grail war never happens the world is f**ked for some reason known as Goetia and you have got to travel back in time to various points in history to fix the f*king timeline and every that different timeline you fix is called singularities

"So, basically, back to the future except there are like seven sequels all with different diverging timelines and you're not trying to f**k your mum you're just trying to f**k with the servants

"And if you think this is simple then let me remind you of the relation between Fate and timelines and here you are fixing f**ked up timelines, you know then you know,"

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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.