To say goodbye

Hawks parked the car outside the building, blowing out a breath before glancing over at me. "I got him alone, so I should be able to talk to him. I'll talk to him, if things go well, he'll come willing. If not, I'll knock him out and put him in your care." Hawks says softly and I nod, fidgeting lightly with my costume- it had been a while since I put it on. It was a black bodysuit with purple outlines, a pitch black cape, tactical belt and custom black combat boots. The entire thing was loaded up for combat, allowing me to defend myself in case something happened. My sniper was strapped to my back, ready for action in case something went wrong. "Okay?" Hawks asks, reaching over and squeezing my hand as I glance over at him. I offer him a small smile, nodding as he returns his own smile. "Okay. I'll be back." He whispers, leaning over and kissing the top of my head before sliding out. I blow out a breath, feeling anxious as I watch him climb upstairs, walking into one of the rooms. I nibble my lip as the seconds pass, anxiety building up as I glance around, wondering if Twice would call for backup. A second later there's a brilliant blue flame, making my heart drop in my chest.

I dash inside, my breathing picking up as my body trembles, my legs feeling weak as I run as fast as I could for the stairs- why was I running? Who was I so desperate to save? After all, I loved Dabi, right? All I had to do was wait patiently and everything would go back to the way it was- just like before. That's what I wanted, right? Tears gather in my eyes, feeling so conflicted as the memories of the time I spent with Hawks comes back, remembering all the happy moments he gave me. It wouldn't matter if Dabi killed him, right? He was just another hero, we had killed so many before. I gasp for air the closer I get, the familiar heat of his blazing flames licking my skin. I stumble as I reach the level, my gaze snapping to the two. Dabi had Hawks pinned to the floor with his foot, his flames blazing as Hawks sat, helpless and pathetic, his feathers burnt to a crisp. I could see a limp body behind them, their blood dripping from the ledge, obviously dead- that must be twice. My body moves before I can think, diving forward- Hawks gaze snaps over to me, his face falling. "Stay back!" He warns, but I couldn't care less, dashing over.

Dabi lifts his gaze to me, his apathetic gaze burning into me as I leap forward, my arms outstretched. In a second his flames extinguish, his arms scooping me up as I sob, clinging desperately to his warmth. "Well, well. Look who it is." Dabi chuckles, leaning down and capturing my lips in a tender kiss. "Did you miss me, little mouse?" He teases as I sniff, staring into his eyes as he grins at me. "I've been looking all over for you. Who would've thought this bird would snatch you up for himself?" He teases, a dark chuckle slipping from him as his crazed daze softens. "You okay?" He asks and I nod, my body trembling with adrenaline. Why are you here? "I'm here for you." He says, looking me over, reaching over and brushing my hair out of the way. He's quiet, staring at one of the marks Hawks left behind, his finger tracing over it. "I'll have to wash him off of you." He mumbles, leaning over and traces his tongue over the mark, making me shiver. "Let's go." He says, stepping off of Hawks and starting to walk away though I quickly grab his collar.

Give me one second? He pauses, humming softly before he sets me down, watching me as I dash over to Hawks. Hawks looked up at me, tears in his eyes as he looked up at me, betrayed. "You were one of them?" He asks, his voice trembling as a tear slid down his cheek. I shake my head, my chest tightening and a thick lump forming in my throat. "Then why?" He asks, his voice cracking as I crouch down, brushing my finger over his knuckles, shutting my eyes. The memories flood over me, remembering the day I stumbled across Dabi- I had been trembling, in pain, gasping for air as I tumbled down in a dark alley. I was whimpering, trying to crawl, only managing to squirm from the pain. I was so weak, so tired, unable to sleep from the agony I had been in. "You look pathetic." Someone says, drawing my attention- he was there, in the shadows, watching me as I lay on the ground. "Who did this to you?" He asks and I try speaking, but all that comes out is a silent croak. He slowly walks forward, his scars visible under his hoodie, his gaze dragging over me. "Come on." He mumbles, grabbing my arm and tugging me onto my feet.

I open my eyes, still reminiscing in the memories, the moment I first laid eyes on Dabi. Hawks presses his lips together, looking up at me, hurt as I reach under my cloak, tugging the feather that hung around my neck. I lift it up, a tear sliding down my cheek as I pull it off, staring at it for a second. I bring it to my lips, placing a gentle, trembling kiss on it before I set it down like an offering before him, already missing his glorious crimson flame. I sniff before I stand, turning back to Dabi. I blew out a trembling breath, seeing he was standing there, waiting for me. My chest ached, feeling frustrated, pressing my lips together. He sighs, looking at the sky, as if asking for mercy. "Don't tell me you actually liked this guy." Dabi says, scrubbing a hand through his hair as I scowl, storming towards him. "Don't do it, sweetheart." He warns, lifting his arms in a defensive stance, but I waste no time- I throw a kick, hoping to catch him off guard, though he easily counters me. I kept moving, trying to land a punch, though he brushed them all off, not even trying to fight back. "That's enough, Baby." He growls, starting to get frustrated the longer I drag it on.

I grab one of the knives from my holster, glaring at him as he scoffs. "Fine." He grumbles, loosening his fists as he fixes his stance- I dive for him and he tackles me to the ground, his hand wrapping around my throat, pinning me down. I put the blade to his throat, full of intent- but I can't. We stare at each other, locked in a stalemate and panting softly for air. "You know you can't." He whispers softly, a tear sliding down my cheek as I press my lips together, feeling frustrated. "You've had plenty of chances to end me, Little mouse- You just love me too much." He muses and I huff, dropping the blade. I close my eyes, giving in, bringing my hand to grip his wrist. "Just like I can't hurt you." He admits quietly, brushing my tears away, licking it off his finger. He pulls away, offering me a hand as I lay, helpless on the ground. "Do you want to get caught here? You have your rifle, you know. He won't be able to save you this time. He passed out a while back." Dabi says and I glance over at Hawks, seeing he was limp on the ground. I sigh, taking Dabi's hand, letting him drag me to my feet. He pulls me in, capturing my lips in a lingering kiss.

"You're mine." Dabi groans, pumping deep inside of me, making me pant, my fingers curling in his sheets. "You'll always be mine, little mouse." Dabi hisses, his hand curling around mine, his breath hot against my neck. My eyes flutter shut, a moan slipping from my lips as his other hand cups my ass, holding me right where he wanted me. "You've always been mine." He whispers, placing a kiss on the back of my neck and making me shiver. I whimper, my stomach curling in knots as he picks up his pace, his tongue tracing the back of my neck. "You know it." He chuckles, my body trembling as my breathing picks up, my peak fast approaching. "Just give in, Princess. You know you want to, you can't deny it." He muses, nipping my ear and making me shiver- "Even if you went back, do you think he would forgive you?" Dabi whispers, his voice sounding rye, making me choke up. I cry out as he slams into me, catching me off guard- but his words pierce me deep in my heart, tearing me open, leaving me weak and vulnerable, tears streaming down my face. "I'm all you've got." He purrs, leaning over and encompassing my body in his heat.

"Today's the day." Dabi chimes, seeming pleased with himself as he hums, a grin tugging at his face. I lay beside him, still sulking, curled up in the blankets- he made a point to be here any time he got the chance, soothing my aches and pains, reminding me constantly of why I loved him. I couldn't bring myself to deny him, no matter how conflicted I was- he truly had a grip on my heart, unwilling to let it go as long as he lived. "Ah… I've waited for so long." Dabi chimes, a grin spreading over his face before he leans over me. "I'll be getting my revenge today, are you ready?" He asks and I shift, turning my gaze to him- he was going after Endeavor? I slowly drag myself out of bed, bringing a sinister grin onto Dabi's face. "Let's get ready, yeah?" Dabi chimes, slipping out of the bed and heading over to his closet. He tosses me my costume, humming to himself as he drags his cloak over his shoulders. I wait patiently for him to exit the room before I drag myself out of bed, blowing out a breath. I drop my gaze down to my stomach, swallowing thickly as I see the bump that had been growing. I had managed to hide it from him this far, but how much longer would it be before he realized?

I grab my uniform, slowly tugging it on, being careful of my stomach as anxiety twists in my stomach. Was I really going to do this? Sure, my entire life had been wrapped around getting vengeance, but… my hand flutters to my stomach, feeling conflicted once again. Ever since I had that bout of morning sickness to the realization that I had been late, I had been shaken to my core. I had been questioning everything, to who the father would be to who I wanted it to be, what kind of life I wanted to have, what life I wanted for the life growing in my stomach. At times it made me nauseous, wishing I didn't have to deal with this dilemma in every waking moment, the knowledge that I was pregnant pricking me constantly in the back of my mind. What if Hawks was the father? Would I leave Dabi and this life behind, choosing to live behind a picket fence? What if Dabi was the father? Would I stay with him, fighting for what was right, constantly trying to keep his attention? I pulled my cloak on, covering my stomach, staring blankly at the ground as I found it difficult to breathe. I never imagined that I would be a mother, it just never really crossed my mind.

I hadn't been able to take my BC since the night those two got in a fight, having left it at Hawk's place. I had been intimate with both of them, so it was completely possible that either one of them could be the father. I take a deep breath, slowly blowing it out, tears gathering in my eyes. I don't even know if I was ready to be a mother yet, the thought had plagued me the entire time, wondering if I would be a monster to my own child. What if my child had my quirk? What would they have to suffer through because of me? I shift as the door opens, glancing up at Dabi as he leans in the doorway, a smile on his face. "Ready?" He asks and I nod, pulling myself to my feet and sliding past him. He watches me, following behind as I keep my head low, heading to the sight where it all began- Where Toya Todoroki died. Hawks. The thought shoots out, not missing a beat as I climb into the waiting car, Dabi sliding in beside me. I need your help. I look out the window at the sky, my chest aching as I reach out, trying to show my desperation as Dabi tells the driver where to go. Please, bring Rei Todoroki. With the thoughts finished, I relax, quietly moving my hand to my stomach.

I watch as Dabi's brilliant flames burst out, condensing into his core, my heart aching in my chest. What happened to the man I once knew? The calm, quiet one who would just lay by my side, holding me close. I could still remember his heartbeat, the way he breathed, so peaceful when we were together. Tears brimmed in my eyes as I set my scope down, unable to watch, a thick lump in my throat. I never really asked what he planned- I always assumed they would get in some epic battle and Dabi would come out alive- that, or I'd finish him off before he got the chance. I never expect that he'd implode himself, sacrificing his life for the sake of vengeance. I feel nauseous as I run downstairs, fumbling with the keys to the car, trying desperately to make it in time. "Shiki!" Someone calls and I snap my gaze over, seeing Hawks looking confused and conflicted on the sidewalk, a woman standing awkwardly beside him. I let out a shuddering breath, the tears tumbling down my cheeks as I dash over, grabbing the woman by her shoulders and staring her deep in her eyes. You have to save him. Please, you're the only one that can.

She seems confused, glancing at Hawks before turning back to me. He always said it was you, you were the one that would get in the way, that he needed you as far away as possible. Please, save him! I beg, my body trembling as I grab her hand, dashing as fast as I could towards the scene, feeling her stumble trying to keep up. Please, save Toya! I choke out a sob, Rei sucking in a sharp breath as she finally catches on, picking up her pace. "Where is my son?!" She begs as I keep running, not stopping for a second, knowing I didn't have much time. There was only a limited amount of time before he was too far gone, I don't care if I sacrificed my life to save him. He's fighting Endeavor. A pit forms in my stomach the closer we get, my eyes locked on the fight, watching as he burns up, remembering the pain from that night all over again. Rei dashes ahead as I pant for air, trying desperately to reach him, to get in range. Hawks scoops me off my feet, making me gasp as he flies me closer, seeming to have caught on that I didn't have the same strength that I had before. He doesn't say anything, staring straight ahead and flying into the fight.

We stop just short of the battle, seeing Endeavor holding Dabi and flying into the sky, Rei chasing after him in an attempt to reach him- I reach out too, desperate to bring him back. Toya, please. Don't do this. I shoot the thought out, diving into his mind, cringing when I feel the pain and suffering laced within, how fractured it was. I force my way through, bringing him back together, throwing all of our memories together to the surface, slamming it through him along with the feelings we held for each other. I feel his frustration, how he was trying to fight me away, demanding that I leave him alone, that I go away- he was fully prepared to end it here. I choke up, squeezing my eyes shut, fighting right back- I'm pregnant! I force the thought full force and everything falls quiet, my breath shuddering as I open my eyes, tears thick as I look up at him, seeing his gaze was on me. Please. I don't want to lose you, too. I begged him, bringing my memories forward, showing how much he meant to me, how much I had loved him over the years. I showed him how he held me together, how he made me sane, how alive he made me feel when we were together.

I showed him all my precious moments, the feelings he stirred up in me, how I wanted to tell him about the child, how I wondered if he would love it regardless. The flames calmed down as he shoved his parents away, tumbling down to the ground. I dive out of Hawks arms, running forward, barely managing to catch him, his skin burning hot to the touch. I flinched, staring down at his marred skin, tears gathering in my eyes as I searched for him, wondering if he was still with me. He lets out a shuddering breath as I lay his head on my lap, a sob wrenching from me as his hand found my stomach, gently caressing it. My tears streamed down my face, feeling like I was choking as I stared down at him, not knowing what to do, feeling so lost- I could feel it, he was fading away. I have always loved you, little mouse. He finally reached out and I burst into tears, clinging desperately to him as he buried his head in my stomach. I have loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. You are the only thing that has kept me going this entire time. I choke up, feeling like an emotional wreck, having been waiting for these words for as long as I had known the man.

I'm sorry I dragged you into this. I'm sorry, I messed up. I should've held you, I should've comforted you, I should've given you the world and more- just like that birdbrain over there. I quickly shake my head, clinging desperately to him as I try scrubbing the tears from my eyes. No, you've always held my heart, Toya. No one else could warm me and save me like you do. I place a trembling kiss on the top of his head, letting my love and warmth stroke over him, not wanting these moments to be sad or remorseful for him. If it's mine, tell them that I loved them more than they could ever know. The thought is quiet, fading away, making me heave a breath as I dig my nails into him. If it's a boy, name it after me, and never let him doubt how much a gift he was. Bloody tears gather in Dabi's eyes as I sob, feeling him slipping away. Don't let society tell them he's a monster for who he was, for who we were. Just tell him we loved him, we loved each other and that- The words cut off and I choke up, turning to him.

The connection drops and I shriek, shaking him, trying to reach out- but there was nothing there. I try desperately to find him, searching blindly for that dark corner in my mind where he always lingered, my safe haven. I break down, screaming at the top of my lungs, wishing for him to come back, to stay with me. I heave, crying out for my lover, mourning the loss that should have never happened- I didn't even get the chance to tell him I loved him, too. I wail, wanting nothing more to go back in time to the day we met, to soothe him and tell him that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I wished I had fought him more, that I never let him join that damn liberation squad, that he was still here by my side. The memories of the time we spent together all tumbled down and I cried harder than I have in my entire life, wondering why this happened to me, to our child. I knew what it was like- I got my quirk from my father, he had committed suicide before I was even born, the thoughts torturing him until his very last moments. I could remember how it devastated my mother, too. The pain she felt every time she thought of him had always stuck with me, deep inside.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." Hawks whispers, slowly wrapping his arms around me, cradling me as I break down, holding what was left of Toya in my arms. "It's okay." He whispers, kissing the top of my head, holding me tight. "I know. I know it hurts- but everything's gonna be okay. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow… but someday, it'll be all okay." Hawks whispers, cocooning around me with his warmth as I sob. "It's gonna be okay." He whispers as I slowly fall quiet, feeling numb, knowing I lost my other half, the love of my life. He was the one that always understood me, who knew everything about me. He was the only one who knew who I really was, what I had been through. He was the one that had been by my side the entire time, and now he was gone. It hurt. It hurt a lot- I'm not sure if it would ever get better, either. "It's okay." Hawks whispers, kissing the top of my head, holding me close, holding me together at my weakest, despite the fact that I had betrayed him, that I left him behind, broken and alone. "I'm here, Baby Bird. I always will be." He whispers, those words comforting me more than anything else could in those moments.

"Mom!" Toya dashes over to me and I hum, glancing down at him as he pouts his bottom lip. "I tried waking dad up, but he's not budging!" He huffs, crossing his arms and making me giggle as he scowls. He was so much like his father, passionate and stubborn, with a head of bright red hair to top it off. Okay. Go get ready for school, then. He bounds off, seeming content as I turn back to the stove, flicking the heat off and pulling the scrambled eggs off the burner, setting to the side. I brush my hands on my apron before pulling it off, setting it aside. I hum softly as I head to our bedroom, my fingers finding the feather and gently stroking it. Hawks groans, throwing his arm over his face as I lean in the doorway, a subtle smile on my face seeing him still lazing in bed. You getting up, lazy bird? He chuckles softly, peeking at me from under his arm. "You gonna stop teasing me?" He retorts and I scoff, walking over and leaning down, placing a kiss on his forehead. Miya's trying to fly again. She's been waiting for you. I grin as he perks up, a smile blossoming across his face as his eyes sparkle. "She's up?" He asks and I nod, watching as he jumps out of bed.

Hawks never showed any preference for our children, which I was grateful for. It meant the world to me knowing he loved them both equally, even if Toya wasn't his. He had shown me from the moment I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy that he was more than ready to accept him, his eyes filled with love from the minute he laid eyes on him. It's true, he was Dabi's son- Endeavor and Rei had reached out, offering to help anyway they could in the process. It took some time to warm up to them, but Rei was an absolute angel and Endeavor apologized for what he had done, as awkward as it was. He had taken a shine to Toya Jr., his first grandson, and as reluctant as I was at first, Toya loved his grandma and grandpa. He understood that Hawks wasn't his father, but Hawks didn't have any family to speak of. Even though we had Miya not long after Toya turned 3, Endeavor and Rei accepted her as if she was their own grandchild as well, giving her the bond and connection that Hawks and I couldn't. I slide out of the room, following Hawks as he bounds to the kids room, a pep in his step and a bright grin on his face, as happy as could be.

He was a fantastic father, more than I could ever wish for, helping me every second of the way and keeping everyone happy, even on the most difficult days. We never fought, we never argued and he never even thought of hurting me, constantly bringing me flowers and nice things. One time he had even brought me a pretty rock, seeming proud to find such a nice rock, making me burst out in laughter. Now we had a rock collection, one that he couldn't be prouder of. Our house, our home and our family had become my safe haven and I couldn't be more relieved that our son had inherited Dabi's ability to block telepathy, allowing him to close off the thoughts of others. It had been surprising when he threw his first spark too, but Endeavor quickly jumped up and taught him the importance of being careful, keeping control of his emotions and never hurting anyone with his flames. With his help, we had been safely practicing with his quirk in a designated area of his estate. Whenever he had time he would swing by to give him a quick lesson and would tell Toya all about his father, how he was such a bright boy with a lot of potential.

We tried not to talk about the bad times, but I did tell Toya that we hadn't always been the best people, but that we wished for him to have a good life above all. He knew his mom hurt people before, even though they were all bad. He seemed proud of me, but he kept the secret very well and told me he wanted to do the same- but from Hawk's side of the law. I couldn't be prouder, encouraging him to do so, but telling him it was always okay to tell mom if he ever felt conflicted. Hawks had given me a strange look but I brushed it off, only offering him a grin. He had sighed, looking exasperated, earning a giggle from me. I watch as he scoops Miya out of her crib, gently tossing her in the air and earning a bubbly giggle from the girl. "There's my little angel!" He chimes, the girl squealing happily as she flapped her little wings, Hawks safely coasting her along with his feathers. "Are you ready to go to work with papa today?" He chimes, the girl cooing as he guides her back into his arms, making me scoff. Don't forget, you promised Toya you would go with him to school today. I remind him and he scoffs, offering me a grin as he walks past me.

"How could I forget? He's only been reminding me every day this week- I can just multitask. No one will notice if I'm not there with your help." He chimes, offering me a wink as I snort, rolling my eyes- he was getting a little too used to my ability, how I could help him detect danger and thoughts from a long range distance, especially now that I was attune with every single one of his feathers and could guide him. We were lucky that Eri had been able to restore him to his former feathered glory, considering he gladly gave her what was left of his cindered feathers to practice on. She had restored them all long ago, seeming proud to be the one to bring Hawks back from his pitiful state. He had forgiven me the moment he saw me fighting Dabi, he knew it had taken a lot out of me, that it meant a lot for me to even think about fighting Dabi, especially after he learned just how far back he went and what he got me through. He held a sort of respect for Dabi after that, though I doubt he'd ever admit it out loud. "Toya!" Hawks calls through the house and he comes dashing in, still shoving things in his backpack as Hawks heads for the door.

"Come on, we don't wanna be late." Hawks says, walking over to the closet to pick out an outfit for Miya. "And who's fault would that be?" Toya retorts, making me giggle as I reach over and ruffle his soft red hair. "What do you mean? I'm always on time." He chimes, grabbing an outfit and laying Miya on her changing station, using his feathers to help her change. "Not when mom's pregnant!" Toya says and my gaze snaps to him, my face falling as Hawk's gaze snaps to me. Toya, I told you about reading my head. I groan as I cover my burning face, shyly glancing over at Hawks. "You were sick! I was worried about you." Toya whines as I giggle, smiling over at Hawks. I guess the cat's out of the bag. I muse as he all but dashes for me, scooping me off my feet and spinning me around. "Really?! You are?" He cheers, making me gag as my nausea kicks in. "There you go again, dad." Toya groans as Hawks quickly sets me down, though I dash for the bathroom, hoping I would make it in time. Toya, quite teasing your dad and eat your breakfast. Kenji, finish dressing Miya. "Oops." Hawks chimes as I hear Toya dashing for the kitchen.

"Ah, I'm so glad it's date night." Hawks sighs, leaning on the ledge of the building as I lazily swing my feet, feeling the breeze brush over us. Familiar memories came to mind, both good and bad, but they all made me feel nostalgic of times I spent with Dabi. I still missed him sometimes, but Hawks always made sure to comfort me. I don't know if it was because of the pregnancy, but I was feeling more attuned with him as usual. I look up at the stars, reminiscing in all the memories as Hawks settles beside me, his wing curling around me as his hand finds my stomach, gently stroking it with his thumb. I glanced over at him, seeing he was smiling, relaxed and content in this moment. My heart flutters, a subtle smile finding its way to my lips as I watch him. He glances over at me, quiet as he offers me his own, satisfied smile. Rin. The thought shoots out and he raises an eyebrow as I blush, brushing my hair behind my ear. That's my name. My real name. I admit and he's quiet, staring at me as I look out at the city, my heart racing in my chest. "Rin. That's nice." Hawks says, the word slipping easily from his lips, making me tingle all over.

He takes my hand, gently kissing it as he kneels beside me, drawing my attention. "Rin." He muses, a grin spreading over his lips as he stares me in my eyes, making me smile. "Will you do the honor of being my wife?" He asks, making my eyes widen as he pulls out a velvet box, offering out to me. I glanced up at him, silently questioning if he was sure, tears gathering in my eyes. He couldn't look any more confident, waiting patiently as I took the box, flipping it open and peaking inside. I choke up at the sight of the simple band, a glittering turquoise gem greeting me. "It was in his pocket… with a note." Hawks admits as I look over at him, feeling my heart clench. He offers me a sweet smile, brushing his thumb over my cheek. "I think he knew, deep down, that we would end up together. I don't know if he planned it, but… he asked me to take care of you and to only propose when you told me your real name." He admits, his gaze softening as he stares at my vulnerable state. "He always wanted to, you know. He just couldn't bring the courage, so he wanted you to look at this ring and think of this moment, of him." Hawks admits as I look at the ring.

"I know you still love him. That's okay. You love me, too. That's perfectly fine with me. So, I don't mind when you think of him, when you miss him… I can tell. It's okay- I'm sure he'd think the same if he was here. He always felt like he wasn't the one to give you what you wanted… His body, it was um… it was damaged. He wasn't even supposed to be alive that long, it would've only been a matter of time. He didn't want you to know, so he always made sure to keep you out. He never wanted to hurt you. He just wished he could've met you sooner, when times were better." Hawks admits as my lips tremble, taking the ring and sliding down. Silent tears tumble down my cheeks as I stare at the ring, thinking of him and Hawks. "He always loved you, and so did I- I think he knew that, so… he trusted me with his final message to you. He wants you to let it all go, to live happily." He says, scooping me up in his arms and holding me close- only then do I cry, in the comfort of his arms. I could swear I could still feel Dabi there, as if he was saving his warmth, his comfort for this moment, to share this moment with us. I couldn't be happier when I said yes.